Reddit reviews Taking Charge of ADHD, Third Edition: The Complete, Authoritative Guide for Parents

Buy two or three books and read them from Amazon or go to your local library for it is likely these books are at your library.

https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-ADHD-Third-Authoritative-ebook/dp/B00CKP1XFE?ie=UTF8&btkr=1&ref_=dp-kindle-redirect

https://www.amazon.com/Your-Defiant-Child-Second-Behavior-ebook/dp/B00E3CC29S/ref=pd_sim_351_1?ie=UTF8&dpID=518OMEhfLYL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_OU01_AC_UL160_SR107%2C160_&refRID=XM26FVMXFCRN78KV9QYJ

Also watch these videos which are free
http://adhdlectures.com/lectures.php?catindex=1

The later 2 videos will be more on the non med tactics to try to help improve the living situation while the first videos are more you need to actually wrap your head around the problem and understand the problem to best treat the problem

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But pretty much write things down, hand him a list, but also tie reward to completeing tasks.

What is chores, they are tasks we need to get done to achieve the greater rewards in life. All you are doing with tying rewards to chores is better connecting the goal with the tasks you need to perform to get to the light at the end of the tunnel. Think of it as creating a light house at night to show where the emerald city is, and to show the yellow brick road. This is because ADHD is kinda like always being in night during the wizard of oz, while non ADHD people have the same problems but they are in the day so they can easily see the emerald city of oz and the yellow brick road.

 

Is this making any sense to you?

I like this book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B006POAWCQ/


It might not be immediately obvious, but some of the difficulties you mentioned do count as social skills as well. For example he'd have to use perspective-taking and flexibility to follow directions that seem "objectively pointless" to him.


Also anything by Tony Attwood. He has a lot of parent-friendly resources that include specific strategies.


This is another good one. It goes through how to do the "chore chart" approach and expand it to cover other aspects of life. (For example, for HW, instead of earning $1 like he does for chores, he can earn extra free time on top of some daily baseline, or for showing he's responsible by doing XYZ he can earn the trust to be independent on some other activity, etc.) It says it's for ADHD but the strategies work for ASD as well (and really for any kid who struggles with executive functioning): https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CKP1XFE/