Reddit reviews Thailand Fever (English and Thai Edition)

I created a throwaway to tell you my story, which may help you make a decision. I have been married for almost 3 and a half years to a girl who worked at Rainbow 4. We are very happy together and I have absolutely no regrets.

I first saw her on Facebook a few weeks after I returned from my first ever visit to Thailand and was floored at how attractive she was. I creeped her profile and due to having been around the block a few times strongly suspected she was a working girl. I sent her a message and we began chatting. I went back to Thailand later that year and spent the entire time with her and we had a blast. After I came back home, we were in continuous contact with each other via MSN messenger and Skype. I eventually offered to support her if she stopped working the bar. She quit and immediately went to work at her best friends hair salon. Soon after we started talking about her coming to the US and getting married. We started the K1 Visa process but found that she had Latent TB Infection(dormant and non-contagious) which would have to be cured before she could enter the US. To cure the TB, she had to go to Bumrungrad every single day at the same time to take a series of pills. She went every single day for 6 months. During this time, I asked her to enroll in English classes, which she did.

I know everyone in this situation says "my girl is different". Most of the time its not true, but in my case it was. A few things, I think, differentiated my wife from the mercenary type girls who do populate the clubs and bars. All of her close friends were regular girls with regular jobs, and some of her friends didn't even know what she did for a living. Another thing was that she was older and hadn't been in the business for very long. She worked for years in hair salons and department stores. She was 32 when I first met her and had been working in go go bars for less than a year.

Our Visa was finally approved. I brought her to the US and we were married in Las Vegas in August 2013. For the record, I did get a prenup via an American attorney based in Bangkok. In January, she received her work permit and went to work at a local Thai restaurant and has been there ever since. She has an incredible work ethic and is invaluable to the owner of the restaurant.

You probably already understand that when you marry an Asian woman, you also marry their family. One of her sisters is a loser, but the other one has a Master's degree and a good job. We ended up helping her mother a sweet and very hard working woman buy a condo, about $30k US. Yes, we have sent thousands to Thailand helping her family, but my wife's income more than offsets that.

I know most people here are telling you to run away. I'm not telling you that your story would end up like mine, but I am saying that not all people in your situation end up regretting getting involved with a prostitute. This girl may very well be the love of your life, but you have to use common sense. If this girl is playing you will see the signs beforehand, you just have to be smart enough to acknowledge them.

I left out quite a bit because this post was already long enough, but I'll be glad to answer any questions that you may have.

Good luck to you both.



Edit for clarification: we just helped with the down payment on her mom's condo, about $6k US.

Edit #2: No matter what you decide to do, I recommend this book. I bought 2 copies and had my then fiance read it as well. https://www.amazon.com/Thailand-Fever-Chris-Pirazzi/dp/1887521488/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1478985022&sr=8-1&keywords=thailand+fever

If she's open to talking with you and is not giving you the silent treatment then you can explain like the above. Tell her in the past you were a bit of a playboy but after your visit to Thailand in 2012 you fell in love with her and realized that she is the only one for you forever. Take her to a nice meal and buy her a little gift and say sorry for upsetting her... You can explain that book you read inspired you to tell the truth about everything, even if it causes a problem.

If you're getting the silent treatment then you'll just have to wait it out.

The cover makes it look a bit dodgy but I highly recommend this book for anyone who is in a Thai/Western cross cultural relationship. It dives right into relationship issues, perceptions of problems from different angles, and explains both in English and in Thai.

The subject of face vs truth is covered in there. In short Westerners hold truth and honesty as extremely important whereas in Thailand (and other countries in Asia) the ramifications of speaking the truth are often considered more important. For example you may not want to tell someone something if it would upset them, even if it's the truth. Especially if they are your senior or someone you care about. A lie to preserve their feelings could be considered respectful and a better option.

This is the source of a lot of frustration in Thailand. Foreigners wonder why people didn't say raise up something that they knew is a problem that needs addressed. Or why did someone agree to something if they knew it can't be done. Or why are people are sometimes punished for telling the truth about a situation.