Reddit reviews The Me, Me, Me Epidemic: A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an Over-Entitled World
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They're not going to do these things on their own if they don't want to. You might appreciate the tools in The "Me, Me, Me" Epidemic: A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an Over-Entitled World. It's a highly practical book with tools like "When-Then" (e.g. "when you've picked your things up, then you can go over to your friend's house"), explanations for how and when to use natural vs. logical consequences, and phrases you can use.