Reddit reviews The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive

I will private message you the details, as we are in similar situations. But, in case others here need some guidance as well, I have some advice.

If your mental health is as precarious as mine, and you need to get a job fast, you need to do primarily two things:

• Work on your mental health (and thus your confidence)
  
• Apply to stable jobs with less responsibilities (do this in parallel)
  
  I grew up in a abusive home and was heavily neglected. I have a double genetic mutation that leads to having MDD. I also heavily abused substances and attempted suicide a couple times.
  
  In short, I understand how mental health issues can affect your ability to work. It can affect your confidence and your desire to feel integrated with society.
  
  So what to do? Simply put, focus your entire life on your mental health.
  
  You need to strategically relieve the financial pressure from your family in favor of gaining more time to improve your health. Think of it as a brief period of immense self growth as an investment for entering back into society.
  
  Relieve the pressure of paying your mother back ASAP. I am assuming and hoping you could pay her back in the future. But, the fact is this: if your mental health isn’t worked on, you can’t ever pay her back... Some people might not agree, but when our depression is so severe, no amount of will power to work will work.
  
  This is why you need to form your current life around your mental health as an investment for your future and your family’s future. You are doing this not to be selfish, but because you know you need to improve yourself before you can stabilize yourself back in society.
  
  Now that we understand you need to form a sanctuary of mental health and healing for yourself, we also understand that we can place aside our guilt and self pity. We will not be able to function if we are constantly plagued with self pity. You need to focus all your attention on improving yourself from within.
  
  The Stoics believed that improving oneself from within is the only thing that we have control over, and, I truly believe this.
  
  You need to focus within and:
  
  
• Start meditating
  
• Start journaling about how you feel
  
• Start going on walks in nature
  
• Fix your sleep schedule
  
• Cut out processed foods and sugars
  
• Get on the appropriate medication
  
• Purchase this book, or something similar
  
• Find free local meditation sessions
  
  After you establish a good routine of the above (can take months), you will move onto this next stage:
  
  
• Start running, cycling, hiking or swimming
  
• Establish your life goals and values (google self authoring)
  
• Fix your microbiome (low carb, GF, probiotics)
  
• Read a book, I suggest “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” (as it is a fun read that encapsulates most of what I have written) or Man’s Search for Meaning
  
  After you have honed in your routine further with the above, move onto this final stage:
  
  
• Creating strict weekly routines and monthly goals
  
• Weightlifting and intense cardio
  
• Extensive journaling regarding mental health and daily routine
  
• Begin reading more books, such as 12 Rules for Life, Philosophies for Life and other Dangerous Situations, The Power of Habit, and Deep Work
  
  As you move through these stages, you will proportionally ramp up your desire to maintain or seek employment. You will sense more space opening up inside, freed from feeling bad about yourself, and you will be able to confidently work or apply to jobs.
  
  I hope this information was helpful, I understand it is a lot to take in. So, please understand that I listed these out in stages because this will be a year long process.
  
  If you have any questions to any of these points, please feel free to PM me and I will be happy to give you advice.
  
  Best wishes

I too wanted to be dead every day. I couldn't make it to the kitchen and make a cup of instant coffee in the morning without thinking about killing myself at least twice. Once when I woke up and once when I passed the mirror. I would spend my days in rage and/or despair, and just 'pray' to whoever might listen that I could just die already. It was the most horrid time of my life, and I couldn't see an end to it, it just got worse and worse, and bad things happened that seemed out of my control, making me feel like the universe had targeted me to be pissed on and tortured every single day.

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It turned out I had some things festering inside me making me hate myself so bad, and along with it I hated everything about my life, including being trans.

Eventually all my furious ramblings centered around my tyrannical father and how much he fucked me up and made me believe I was a worthless piece of shit. It turned out that after his death I had continued his hateful monologues in my head, and treated myself like he did, reinforcing my father's fucked up words in the same violent and tyrannical fashion that he did.


Fortunately I got to speak to a really sweet and skilled psychologist, who taught me to be gentle and nurturing to myself, to look out at the world instead of dwelling on my negative thoughts all the time. She made me go outside, hug myself, touch trees and all sorts of things that reminded me that the world can be a beautiful place.

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I thought I was gonna die back then. My life was a living hell, and I had no hope for the future, no hope for transition and no hope that anything would ever get better.

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Well it's better now. I can love myself some of the time, I don't say hateful things to myself in my head whenever I make the slightest mistake. I have beautiful relations with people, and I don't want to die when I look in the mirror anymore. I'll probably never pass, but I love looking more feminine. and I don't flip out anymore.


I still have therapy to do, as realizing what is wrong is not the same as fixing it, but things are going the right way.


Sorry for the lengthy life story. I don't know what issues you might be struggling with, but I hope you will see it as an example, that things can get better, even when everything is pain and despair and no hope.


Be gentle with yourself, listen to your needs, tell yourself kind things, identify what underlying causes might contribute make your life so bad.


Perhaps get this book and work through the assignments: https://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Self-Compassion-Workbook-Yourself-Strength/dp/1462526780


I hope you can use some of this. Wish you all the best

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hugs

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Sio


TL;DR: I used to wish I was dead every day, but things got better +advice.

Mine focused on my abuse and my dream of getting a college degree (I succeeded, I have a master’s degree now), so Children of the Self-Absorbed by Nina Brown, and On Course by Skip Downing. On Course has so many great self-esteem projects in it, but it’s written for students.

I also like a lot of self-compassion meditations, like these: link . She actually wrote a workbook too that’s on amazon, that might be something to look into if you like her mediations as well: link

For those really stressful feelings that come up while healing, I recommend ACT mediations: link

I’ve also been thinking of picking up a DBT workbook—just to learn more about other self-work projects so that I might be able to weave it into my teaching. You might like to look at it too: link

Thriftbooks also has some options! link

Hope this helps :)