Reddit reviews The New Book of Wedding Etiquette: How to Combine the Best Traditions with Today's Flair

Congrats on your engagement! Non religious ceremonies are common and popular. You will need a justice of the peace or officiant to marry you, and you will still need to carry out the procedure of getting a marriage license, the rules of which vary depending on which state you live in. Otherwise, you don't need to do anything official besides getting your marriage license and showing up for your wedding.

Regarding who pays, it was long ago a tradition that the bride's parents pay, but that is honestly an old tradition that isn't really followed anymore. In my experience, usually the bride and groom pay and plan, but sometimes the parents will offer to contribute (they are not asked however). If they do offer to pay for all or part of your wedding, it is good courtesy to ask if there are certain people they would like to invite, or things they would like to see at the wedding.

Wedding party: totally optional. You can have 8 bridesmaids, or 1 maid of honor, or no one. If your fiance is having 5 groomsmen, you do not need to have 5 bridesmaids. It's really a "do whatever you want" kind of thing. If you do choose to have a bridal party, just remember that they are not responsible for anything such as planning a bridal shower or bachelorette party, or helping you DIY centerpieces and stamp invitations. A lot of American wedding movies make it look like bridesmaids are slaves to the bride, but this is actually really frowned upon. If your bridesmaid offer to plan a shower or help you with invitations, that's a different story.

Some other American things are registering for household items, maybe sending out save-the-dates 9-12 months before the wedding (this is optional), sending invitations out 6-8 weeks before the wedding, having a cocktail party after the ceremony that leads right into the reception, having a first dance with your husband, possibly doing mother/son and father/daughter dances (also optional), getting a DJ, cutting cake, and maybe doing an after-party somewhere.

I'm the oldest in my family and first to get married, so I didn't have a ton of help planning my wedding. I read this book which was helpful (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003DYGO0K/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1#nav-subnav) and also perused wedding websites such as The Knot. Feel free to PM me for any other questions!!