Reddit reviews The Pocket Guide to the Polyvagal Theory: The Transformative Power of Feeling Safe (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology)

the reason is a little bit of evolutionary fun (i.e. another reason why we clearly weren't "designed" to be "perfect")

the brains of homo sapiens are hard-wired to accept as normal whatever treatment is foisted upon them by individuals who are pair-bonded/impressioned to children as the "primary caretaker(s)"

the second scenario is defaulting to energy-conserving mode by the vagal nerve plexus system (the old reptilian system at the base of the brain)

the third scenario is severe affect dysregulation because of an attempt by the maturing brain to pair-bond with another, but feeling intense fear of abandonment in order to avoid scenario #2

fun times

more info:

https://www.amazon.com/Pocket-Guide-Polyvagal-Theory-Transformative/dp/0393707873

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0393712850

cutting edge neuroscience, so it's not always light reading, but well worth it

Agree re: polyvagal! It was revelatory for me. And as someone who tries REEEEEEALLY hard at everything, learning about neural platforms kinda let me off the hook for things I was expecting to just will myself out of.

I've brought the topic up here before, but never garnered much interest. Hence the low effort, low commitment podcast :)

Therapist Uncensored podcast has a few good episodes on it, as does Dr Drew of all people (Allan Schore episode is better than Porges ones).

For anyone interested, recc reading:

Easy read: The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation

More in depth:

[The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation] https://www.amazon.com/Polyvagal-Theory-Neurophysiological-Communication-Self-regulation/dp/039370700

The Pocket Guide to the Polyvagal Theory: The Transformative Power of Feeling Safe