Reddit reviews This Isn't What I Expected: Overcoming Postpartum Depression

I'm sorry you're going through this, and I'm sorry your husband is being so unsupportive. If you feel you need help, go talk to your doctor. Meds can help - I felt a difference within 2 days of starting them. The meds didn't take away the things I was finding difficult about new motherhood, but they helped me get my emotions back under control so I could start processing those struggles in a healthy way. The meds made the difference between "It's hard to get out of the house with a baby, and that's hard, and means I have to readjust my life." and "It's hard to get out of the house with a baby. I can't do anything I used to do. I'm never going to have a life again. I resent this baby for taking my life away. I'm a horrible mother." Etc etc. Becoming a mom is a huge adjustment, and it takes time and mental/emotional energy to make that adjustment. When you're struggling with that adjustment and you throw all the hormonal changes on top of that it can really mess with your brain. The meds stopped me from spiraling, so when I got upset about something, I could be upset about just that one thing, and articulate it and process it, instead of spiraling into a chasm of guilt and despair and uncontrollable crying. I also found seeing a therapist helpful to process things. Your doctor may be able to help you find resources to get therapy if money is an issue. My doctor also recommended this book: http://www.amazon.com/This-Isnt-What-Expected-Overcoming/dp/0553370758/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1383078019&sr=8-1&keywords=this+isn%27t+what+i+expected+overcoming+postpartum+depression

I didn't read all of it, but I did find it helpful, especially in the beginning. And it has a few chapters for partners on how they can be supportive.

Hugs! It gets better!

part 2:

books:

copy of chapter "Children of Depressed Parents" from the book The Edge of Darkness by Kathy Cronkite: http://imgur.com/QsW1D,neLcM,KeByl,tKhTz,Y2VzK

http://www.amazon.com/Sorrows-Web-Understanding-Depressed-Children/dp/B004JZX1TE/ref=sr_1_sc_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1329195154&sr=8-3-spell

http://www.amazon.com/Pregnant-Prozac-Essential-Making-Decision/dp/0762749407/ref=pd_sim_b_3

http://www.amazon.com/Mommy-Childs-Guide-Parental-Depression/dp/1929622716/ref=pd_vtp_b_5

http://www.amazon.com/Ghost-House-Maternal-Depression-Children/dp/B003B3NWXU/ref=pd_vtp_b_3

http://www.amazon.com/Deeper-Shade-Blue-Recognizing-Childbearing/dp/0743254759/ref=pd_vtp_b_5

http://www.amazon.com/Pregnancy-Blues-Every-Depression-During/dp/0385338678/ref=pd_vtp_b_4

http://www.amazon.com/Pregnancy-Decision-Handbook-Women-Depression/dp/0976581418/ref=pd_vtp_b_5

http://www.amazon.com/Understanding-Your-Moods-Youre-Expecting/dp/0547053622/ref=pd_vtp_b_8

http://www.amazon.com/Pregnancy-Postpartum-Anxiety-Workbook-Compulsions/dp/1572245891/ref=pd_vtp_b_7

http://www.amazon.com/Mother-Mother-Postpartum-Depression-Support/dp/0425208087/ref=pd_vtp_b_6

http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Blue-Surviving-Depression-Anxiety/dp/B004X8W91S/ref=pd_vtp_b_10

http://www.amazon.com/Therapy-Postpartum-Woman-Depression-Clinicians/dp/0415989965/ref=pd_rhf_ee_shvl2

http://www.amazon.com/Sucked-Then-Cried-Breakdown-Margarita/dp/B004J8HXA4/ref=pd_sim_b_6

http://www.amazon.com/Down-Came-Rain-Postpartum-Depression/dp/1401308465/ref=pd_sim_b_4

http://www.amazon.com/Thinking-Having-After-Postpartum-Depression/dp/1413473474/ref=pd_sim_b_6

http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Well-When-Youre-Depressed/dp/1572242515/ref=pd_vtp_b_11

http://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Bear-Family-Parent-Disorder/dp/1425929524/ref=pd_vtp_b_2

http://www.amazon.com/My-Mothers-BiPolar-So-What/dp/1419620061/ref=pd_vtp_b_4

http://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Pregnant-Planning-Parenting-Depression/dp/0757306837/ref=pd_sim_b_9

http://www.amazon.com/Sometimes-My-Mommy-Gets-Angry/dp/0142403598/ref=pd_vtp_b_4

http://www.amazon.com/Hand-Me-Down-Blues-Depression-Spreading-Families/dp/0312263325/ref=pd_vtp_b_13

http://www.amazon.com/When-Parent-Depressed-Children-Depression/dp/0316738891/ref=pd_vtp_b_6

http://www.amazon.com/Life-Will-Never-Same-Postpartum/dp/0982641001/ref=pd_sim_b_9

http://www.amazon.com/This-Isnt-What-Expected-Overcoming/dp/0553370758

videos: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/takeonestep/depression/video-ch_01.html - pbs out of the shadows (this is a full documentary but it has parts about postpartum depression that I think are worth watching)

check out my original post as well for lots more info.

Things to keep in mind if you are a mother with depression; quotes from two resources:

Harvard maternal postpartum depression links:
http://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/reports_and_working_papers/working_papers/wp8/

Serious depression in parents and caregivers can affect far more than the adults who are ill. It also influences the well-being of the children in their care. The first joint Working Paper from the National Scientific Council on the Developing Child and the National Forum on Early Childhood Policy and Programs summarizes recent evidence on the potentially far-reaching harmful effects of chronic and severe maternal depression on families and children. When children grow up in an environment of mental illness, the development of their brains may be seriously weakened, with implications for their ability to learn as well as for their own later physical and mental health. This report examines why the continuing failure to address the consequences of depression for large numbers of vulnerable, young children presents a missed opportunity to help families and children in a way that could support the future prosperity and well-being of society as a whole.


Here is a quote from The Noonday Demon from the section on mothers with depression (my own added comment is in the parentheses and not part of the original quote),

"Depressed mothers are usually not great mothers, though high-functioning depressives can sometimes mask their illness and fulfill their parenting roles," (this is not an insult against depressed parents, it's an inevitable consequence of what happens when you are depressed because you are more irritable, have less energy, can be less outwardly loving, sometimes fail to respond to social cues from your children, possibly unaffectionate and withdrawn...), "In general, the children of a depressed mothers not only reflect but also magnify their mother's state. Even ten years after an initial assessment, such children suffer significant social impairment and are at a threefold risk for depression and a fivefold risk for panic disorders and alcohol dependence. To improve the mental health of children, it is sometimes more important to treat the mother than to treat the children directly..."
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Resources for men with postpartum depression:

http://www.postpartummen.com/resources.htm

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Parenting/postpartum-depression-fathers/story?id=10672383#.TydWX8VAb6k

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/32403497/ns/today-relationships/t/new-dads-coping-baby-blues/#.TydWZsVAb6k

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/03/17/time-to-focus-on-sad-dads/

book: Kleinman, K. (2001). Postpartum Husband: Practical Solutions for Living with Postpartum Depression. Xlibris Corporation.