Reddit reviews Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew

Both my children were born in China and my wife and I are white. From the get go we have been very open about the adoption etc. We got a few ignorant questions about the cost, etc. We are fortunate to live in an area of the Country where they are not the only Chinese children either in their school or their neighborhood so that has made it easier. We have adopted some cultural customs, i.e. we celebrate Lunar new year now, and fortunately my older daughter's High school offers Mandarin as a foreign language option so that has been nice. There is a significant age gap (6 years) between the kids so we were able to bring the older one along with us to China and she got to see China and can talk about the adoption of our youngest so that has been great.

We found this book to be very helpful:

https://www.amazon.com/Twenty-Things-Adopted-Adoptive-Parents/dp/044050838X/ref=pd_sim_14_2?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=044050838X&pd_rd_r=A4DBGYCA77BR92A9YS41&pd_rd_w=vaAwt&pd_rd_wg=7AN74&psc=1&refRID=A4DBGYCA77BR92A9YS41

The biggest take away I got from adoption research is to know and accept that even though your adoption of the child is a wonderful thing, it still leaves a hole that needs to be acknowledged.

Came across a few new adoption related resources that have giving me new insight into adoption. One is this video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBraT8F4mQ0) that I came across on Youtube. I like the way she relates her perspective on being a birthmom. The other is this book: (http://www.amazon.com/Twenty-Things-Adopted-Adoptive-Parents/dp/044050838X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1372780867&sr=8-1&keywords=twenty+things+adopted+kids+wish+their+adoptive+parents+knew) which really opened my eyes.

My adoptive couple turned my request for more contact down but with John 11 now I'm hopeful that I won't have to wait too much longer before he initiates from his end. At least I can email the couple directly.

I highly highly highly recommend this book: https://www.amazon.com/Twenty-Things-Adopted-Adoptive-Parents/dp/044050838X/ref=sr_1_1?crid=E365238909FC&keywords=20+things+adopted+kids+wish+their+adoptive+parents+knew&qid=1565969719&s=gateway&sprefix=20+thing%2Caps%2C164&sr=8-1

I wish I would have read it earlier, we told our daughter (adopted at birth) that she was adopted at age 7 and that was too late. She is doing fine now but early is better.