Reddit reviews You Weren't with Me

Unfortunately, there are a lot of factors working against you here. You left your son during his early years of attachment formation - of course his bond with you would be disrupted. And a year is a LONG time for a four-year-old; you've been gone a quarter of his life. And there's a younger sibling added to the mix, which often leads to some jealousy and resentment even under the best of circumstances... for you to have the baby and then disappear for a year, pretty much confirms every kid's worst fears that the new baby is going to come along and replace them, take mom away from them. Of course that wasn't your intention, but to a little kid's emotional brain it's the same thing.

Did you have contact while you were away, via skype or phone calls or anything? How did you go about re-introducing yourself into his life when you returned? I would definitely try to find a way to work with the relatives who were his primary caregivers in your absence to ease the transition; I understand it hurts to see him prefer them, but they are going to be your best allies in helping him adjust. While it's completely understandable that you feel hurt by his rejection, try to remember how this looks from his perspective - he doesn't know if it's safe to trust you, or if you'll just disappear again; he doesn't know if you really still love him, or if you just care about the new baby now. It's going to take a lot of time and patience to rebuild that trust and safety and connection.

I would definitely consider working with a child therapist who specializes in attachment and separation. There's also a childrens book that might resonate with you and your son called You Weren't With Me, which shows the complex emotions a child feels after a long separation from mom or dad. There's a version of it available in Spanish as well. Best of luck to you and your son.