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OK, kiddo, a couple of things here.

I can tell you're upset and feeling guilty, but take a minute to breathe deeply and relax. This is an extremely emotionally charged and heavy situation with great potential to go pear-shaped, yes, but this isn't insurmountable. You're not a terrible person for feeling this way because a) "I've had enough," is a legitimate reason to end a relationship, and b) you're trying very hard, almost too hard, to be respectful of his feelings.

First thing's first: Are you both OK, medically? A year without intimacy is a long time, and you don't really offer up any explanation for why. Are either of you sick or depressed? Have you just grown apart from him because he's not interested? Or, have you lost interest? The answer to this question will inform all your future decisions.

Second, what do you want here? Do you want to try to recover the relationship, or is it way too late? Recovery, of course, would start off with couple's therapy to identify what went wrong and how to better communicate with each other to prevent this happening in the future. If either of you are dealing with depression or other emotional trauma, individual therapy should also be considered. Medical issues should also be addressed as required.

You seem to indicate that you're all done, and it also seems like you've drifted away from him but he's still interested in you, so we'll proceed in that vein.

Have you been open and honest with your partner about how you're feeling? If not, this will be an even more difficult conversation because he'll feel blind-sided. If you are unsure of how to have a hard conversation like this, give Crucial Conversations a read. It can help you more safely navigate the murky waters of emotionally-charged conversations. A bit of individual therapy would not go amiss here, either. It will help you frame your ideas, temper your emotions and practice your words to help you prepare for the break-up. If you need help finding a free/low cost therapist and are in North America, dialing 2-1-1 will help you access community resources.

Practice your conversation, get used to saying what you will have to say. Pack your things and move your precious things to safety if you think there will be a chance for violence, and consider having a witness or two on hand just in case things get out of hand.

During your conversation, try to stay cool and collected. If he gets upset and starts accusing you of taking advantage of him, stay calm, tell him you can see why he would feel that way and assure him that was not your intent.

Remember: once you've responsibly broken it off with him, his emotions are not longer your concern, unless he's lashing out and making you feel unsafe (in which case, withdraw to safety or contact the police for help, whichever seems called for.)

Remember: you're not a bad person. People grow and change and relationships end. That doesn't mean either party was "bad" or "good." It just means the relationship has ended. Look at me: I'm Mormon. We believe marriage should be eternal. Forever. I'm divorced and remarried. Neither my ex or I would characterize the other as "evil." Don't get me wrong, I don't like my ex or want to spend any time near her if I don't have to, but I recognize that she's doing the best she can with what she's got and the two of us are just not compatible.

This will be hard, but I know you can do it, and I know you will do it responsibly. Regardless of what direction you choose, allow me to recommend seeing a good therapist before, during and after. Talking to a trained professional always helps.

I love you and am proud of you!

Love,

Dad

P.S.
If I'm honest, a year without intimacy has probably gotten a little old for him, too. He may be ready for this to end as well.

Hi! It sounds like you’re going through a lot and I’m really sorry to hear that this is happening around you. First, you sound like you are very aware. That’s a really important quality to have both now and in the future to overcome stuff like this.

Preface: I am a young woman, not a father sorry if that’s against the rules here

As for the question you asked, I would perhaps approach the conversation with your dad with a little disclaimer. “Dad, I would like to talk to you about something but I’m concerned that if I do, the structure of my life is going to change and I don’t feel like that would be beneficial for me.”

If you don’t think that that would be helpful or that he may just upend you anyhow, you can also approach it with “Dad, I have a lot on my mind that I think I need to talk about but I think it would be best if I talked it out with a therapist.”

My mom was a lot like yours. She has borderline personality disorder. I grew up feeling very similar things to what you’ve described and the two things that helped me most were therapy and the book Surviving a Borderline Parent . If you aren’t comfortable with having those conversations, there is still a lot of healing that you can do for yourself, without having to engage any of the chaos around you and perhaps making it worse. I would just suggest if you get that book to try to hide it. I don’t think your mom would take too kindly to finding it, and if she did it might make things worse for you which is the last thing I want.

Good luck and don’t forget that although SHEs dysfunctional, that doesn’t mean that you have to let all of that in. Let her be crazy on her own time, you are your own person who can chose to not engage.

First, thanks for coming to us... I know it's probably embarrassing to have facial hair and not know how to shave and/or to cut your face up all the time because of it. It's happened to everyone and there is nothing to feel bad about.

I personally use a safety-razor, something like this https://www.amazon.com/VIKINGS-Chieftain-Safety-Swedish-Platinum/dp/B011L8WJIA/ref=sr_1_4_s_it?s=beauty&ie=UTF8&qid=1494511959&sr=1-4&keywords=safety+razor


It's easy to learn, plus lots of videos online (the way to do it closely matches the ways you have been described here). Over your lifetime you will save so much money not buying razor cartridges and furthermore if you take care of your razor and get something high quality it's something you can pass down to YOUR child if that's something you are interested in.

I was gifted this book in 1992. I encourage you to read it. If you are affected the same as I, you'll never ask "how to be a man" again?

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003PJ7G4Q/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1