Reddit reviews New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy, & Birth

We used frozen sperm from a bank and used the syringe they provided. It worked out fine. Since you have a relatively limited quantity of sperm to work with, timing becomes the big thing (I'd also suggest having your donor's sperm count checked if he's willing). I recommend charting your cycle for some time before you try it the first time. We actually bought a speculum so we could do cervical monitoring, which was incredibly helpful (look up the Beautiful Cervix Project for an idea of how things should look at different points in the cycle, and take photos if you can, since the differences from day to day are much easier to track when you have a visual reference). We found a used copy of The New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception and found it extremely helpful throughout the process. Good luck!

It sounds like you need to some more learning about what parenting could look like for you and then decide with your new knowledge whether that is something you really want. I recommend a few things.

1. The New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy and Birth has a lot of great info. It's premature in a way but you seem to want to know what conception and pregnancy would actually be like and this book covers all of it, with comments and stories from real women along with more clinical information on IUI, ICI, IVF, donor sperm, being the non carrying partner, etc. Also lots of lists of additional resources in the book. https://www.amazon.com/Essential-Guide-Lesbian-Conception-Pregnancy/dp/1555839401
   
   
2. Book a few sessions with a therapist to talk through this. You do need a sounding board and you said you don't have one. Find a lesbian friendly therapist and explain that you just want to talk through your thoughts on whether or not youd like to be a parent. 3-5 sessions could do a lot to clarify your thought process.
   
   
3. Check with local LGBT centers for parenting resources. There may be groups or info sessions for people considering parenting, which is exactly what you are looking for. Lots of people have these questions.
   
   
4. Check online for lesbians planning parenting. Lots of lesbian moms out there through biological pregnancy and through adoption or parenting kids in foster care. Look around for blogs and boards, read some stories, ask some questions.
   
   It sounds like you just need to get a better sense of how this could all take shape. Once you have more info you will be better able to tell what path is for you.

This one is (somewhat) queer & trans inclusive and had a lot of really good information, covering conception + pregnancy and physical + emotional + partners as well. A bit dated, but found it surprisingly comprehensive.

New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy, & Birth https://www.amazon.com/dp/1555839401/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_DVQRCbAN0Q46S