Reddit reviews On Combat: The Psychology and Physiology of Deadly Conflict in War and Peace

Have you read On Combat? It's been a while since I read it, but IIRC, there are stories about police officers' spouses who are going through the same your SO is, and I think there are even strategies on how to approach the conversation. (It's a great book that you should read nonetheless, but that's beside the point.)

If I misremember, maybe the author can help you if you contact him, as he's held lots of workshops with law enforcement and their families, and I'm sure the question has come up.

Memory and perception distortion is a very common response to deadly encounters even with the most experienced people imaginable. It's unusual to be able to accurately remember things like distances, time, and number of shots fired under extreme stress. Grossman's On Combat and Warrior Mindset have good discussions of the weird stuff that happens to human perception and ability in combat.

Organizations like Blackwater don't hire run-of-the-mill soldiers. They often hire out of special forces organizations and the like.

For one: Special forces groups tend to train their soldiers a bit better, and they educate them on the stresses and psychological effects that combat will have on them. This makes them more able to cope with the difficulties brought on by the High-tempo work they do.

Similar training will be found in any high-tempo/specialized combat trades (including law enforcement). The book On Combat covers such ideas.

Unfortunately, this kind of training is not as widespread as it should be, so people who aren't experienced and trained go oversees, kill somebody, and hey are not adequately prepared to deal with what that means.

Edit: Books

On Combat

And more specifically for handling Killing a man:

On Killing

> The fact that I fucked up on this means I'm carrying something in my head that is getting in the way of success.

Wrong.

Interviews are stressful, and many people choke up under certain types of stress and pressure. I recommend practicing, and I think Toastmasters can help you. Part of the reason for the baloney and screaming in basic training is that you can be innoculated to handle stress: you feel the fear and do it anyway. Then when you encounter fear and stress, you've already experienced it, and survived it, and you'll survive this stress as well.

There is also a book I recommend to folks called On Combat. There are a number of chapters that explain what stress can do to people, and how your body will do things you won't expect.

> And I blanked out.

All mammals experience the fight or flight response. You aren't the only person to sit there with your mouth open, like a deer in headlights. Another book that is helpful to read is Deep Survival, because some folks become addicted to that adrenaline rush, and that addiction leads people to take risks that they should have survived, but died.

i would recomend this : http://www.amazon.com/On-Combat-Psychology-Physiology-Conflict/dp/0964920514

got it used and its pretty good stuff.

On combat

Really good book about the psychology of combat.

Freakonomics - don't really need to explain why its good.

The disc world Series - Got me into reading in a big way.

I think you're 100% wrong. Talk to anyone in the military or a real cop, whos been involved in a situation where it was kill or be killed and has had training to deal with that situation. They will tell you otherwise.

Or read any of these 2 combat psychology books:

On Killing

On Combat

You're talking out of your ass.

From out of nowhere. A book about what to expect from your body in a life-or-death situation. When shit's going down and your body is pumping adrenaline. How do you breathe to control yourself? How fast can your heart beat while you still remain composed enough to fire a gun accurately?

Every human being should read On Combat.

Also the criminally underrated IronMind.

Forewarned is forearmed.

This is a book that you should read, if you're going to carry and are uncertain about ending a life. It's pretty much required reading for Mil/LEO and very beneficial to CCW.