Reddit reviews Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential AND HOW YOU CAN ACHIEVE YOURS

I graduated from a top-tier university with really great GPA, great opportunities, and surrounded by ambitious friends. About a year after graduation, my life was in shambles. I didn't have a job and I sat around doing very little most of the time. It took me over a year to get a job (a terrible one) and almost five more years to crawl back into the real working world.

Given that background, here's a few pieces of advice I can offer:

1. Talk to someone, preferably a professional. It's scary, but things like chronic depression can devastate your life without you even being aware of what's happening. Make sure you go to a doctor and rule out any other physical problems that are beyond your control (such as anemia or something like that). You aren't looking for excuses here, you're looking to get a on a level playing field with everyone else. Leaving these physical issues unresolved makes trying to dig out of the hole you're in trying to run a competitive marathon with a 15 lb weight strapped to your back.
   
   
2. Don't be so afraid of fear. I know this sounds like touchy-feely hippy crap, but I am a firmly believer in two things about fear: (a) being afraid usually means you're on the right track and (b) long term, there is nothing to be afraid of. You may find this morbid, but I look at life quite simply -- the biggest impact our entire civilization will ever have on the entire universe is less than the ripples from a pebble being thrown into the ocean. We are completely unnoticeable as a group and invisible as individuals. To me, I find that incredibly empowering -- that belief makes me realize that the choices I agonize about are, on a macro level, insignificant and that it is entirely up to me to determine the meaning and purpose behind my own life. (Carl Sagan was my jam as a kid and if you've never heard the Pale Blue Dot, I would recommend listening to it. It changed my life and it could change yours). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=923jxZY2NPI
   
   To circle back to my first point about fear, recognize that fear is usually a result of pushing toward the unknown or stepping outside of your comfort zone. Given that your current comfort zone isn't very comfortable for you, recognize that when you feel fear, you're thinking about changing something or actively changing something. Even if you just walk up to that fear bubble and stick your toe out of it and recoil, congratulate yourself on confronting your fear. Period. It's a bold move and for many people fear keeps them locked into things they are not happy with.
   
   
3. Realize that most life choices are nothing but a series of smaller choices. You mention that you want to be in shape, but aren't patient enough for a "long-term" goal. By framing the goal the way you have, you are setting yourself up for failure. I like to break down big goals into little tiny decisions that I can act on every day. If I wanted to get in shape, I would look at that as a series of short-term goals. When I was recovering from my torn meniscus, I had trouble getting back into the gym. So, I broke it down. The first week, I committed to just going and seeing the place again. I walked in, changed, did about 40 minutes of stretching and left. The next week, I committed to going once, but this time I would actually lift. I lifted really lightly, stretched, and went home. The next week I did a little more. Eventually, I was back.
   
   Splitting these big commitments up into smaller pieces helps you overcome your own mental hurdles. It helps you celebrate the small wins (I went INTO the gym this week! I ran on the treadmill for 5 minutes!) -- which are what matter. If you can string together 15-20 small wins in a row, you're well on your way to whatever goal you set.
   
   
4. Fuck other people and fuck comparisons. I still struggle with this one, as do most other people. For me, I run into internal comparisons. I have two friends who are wildly successful (multi-millionaires before 30 with lucrative and growing businesses) and, while they're smart dudes, I'm equally as intelligent. That hurts me sometimes. So, I've developed two strategies to cope with these feelings:
   
   First, you are comparing apples and oranges. Any time you compare yourself to someone else you're taking your own internal thoughts and feelings and comparing them to someone's projection of themselves. What you're doing is looking at people's proverbial Facebook feeds (where only the good stuff gets posted) and comparing it to your own life (where both good and bad things happen). People's lives are all different and all face unique sets of challenges. Even the most successful people you know struggle mightily with issues that you aren't aware of. DO NOT fall into this trap and whenever you do, close Facebook / Instagram / Twitter and go for a walk.
   
   Second, learn your own origin story. Again, this might sound stupid, but I am firm believer in this strategy. I told you above that my life fell apart within a year of graduating from school. What I didn't tell you was how obvious it should have been to everyone that this would happen. Looking back, I have come to understand all the decisions I made as my best attempt to survive the various stages of my life. Without getting into too many of my own details, I quickly realized that MY story was an integral part of ME and it is a key differentiator between myself and many other people I meet today. Very few people I meet have gone through some of the shit I've gone through and very few people have developed some of the behaviors and oddities that I developed to even be ALIVE today. So, when I find myself saying "you're almost 30 and haven't done 'blah blah blah' I tell myself "hey you're on your own path, doing your own thing and, given your origin story, you're doing pretty goddamn well for yourself."
   
   
5. Live in the moment as much as you can. This is incredibly hard for most people, but I think that it's key to beating internal demons. The book Positive Intelligence covers this topic well and I'd highly recommend you read it. Basically, learn to live in the moment and be happy with what you have because if you don't learn to be happy with yourself no amount of external change is going to change that for you.
   
   
6. Take action. The single most empowering thing you will do is take action. Most people get caught up in a paralysis of analysis mindset. They continue to read and read and research believing that the answers are written down for them somewhere. They aren't. All of these self-help books and guides and websites can only steer you (vaguely) in the right direction. It's up to you to get up, put one foot in front of the other and walk down a new path. Yes, that's scary and yes you might make a mistake, but whatever path you take, whatever mistakes you make mean that you won't be where you are right now. They'll be new problems, but they won't be exactly the same as your current problems.
   
   >Most importantly, do you guys believe I can change for the better?
   
   You've got it backwards. All of your questions above are far more important than this one. Yes, it's nice to have some people who believe in you and what you're doing, but those shouldn't be strangers on the internet. Build a support circle. Find someone that you can be weak and lost and confused in front of. That's part of this process and it's part of life. It doesn't matter what I think (nor would my answer to this question have any bearing on reality). It's entirely up to you what you do and what paths you choose to take.
   
   edit: I needed to clean up the formatting a bit. I hope that was helpful.

Right there with you and have taken a step back to realize that an office environment is something I need right now. Perhaps also a co-founder when I decide to start investing 100% in my company again. A book has really helped me in the last few months and I cannot recommend it enough -- Positive Intelligence.

Thank you for a great answer! :)

Your first and second suggestion remind me of a book i read many years ago called Positive Intelligence. In that book the author had identified 12 common mental saboteurs (that had more to do with attitudes than activities) that you were supposed to label as soon as you identified one of them. You were also supposed to do "PQ reps" that were more or less the same as checking in to your body. :)

I will start trying out all of your suggestions above as soon as I have the opportunity, probably at work on Monday morning. Thanks again! :)

This helped me.

Then I read this as well.