Reddit reviews Smart but Scattered Teens: The "Executive Skills" Program for Helping Teens Reach Their Potential

Does he have adhd?

Even if he doesn't, it sounds like he's having trouble with executive function. You should look into the organizational and homework resources for adhd. They may help.

This book in particular:
https://www.amazon.com/Smart-but-Scattered-Teens-Executive/dp/1609182294/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_img_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=GAT796H6VFGPKR6C9XK9

It is frustrating and heartbreaking. But that's reality. It sucks. And your son knows it to. He knows what he is bad at. But he also knows how to do it right. That's the crucial thing in adhd.

We(with adhd), we know how it has to happen, we know what we need to say, we know how to do be normal. Except we are physically Incapable of it. Trust me when I say that he has the most struggles in him self. Than that he actually shows or manifestates. Try to imagine you are in a wheelchair but and paralyzed from the hips down. You know how to walk except you can't.
(No offense to those paralyzed, it's just a metaphor)

This is how it is for us. Now try to imagine people(parents, friends, teachers, bosses) that are continuingly asking you to get up and walk a bit. It's tiresome and confronting that you can't walk. If there is so much pressure on it than anyone would explode in a rage. Like 'shut the fuck up already, I told you time and time again I can't do it' right? As a kid this is can be inducing anxiety, fear of failure, ODD, bad self esteem and even on later ages depressions and suicidal tendencies.

Now don't be afraid. Your kid is 12 and you don't know how lucky you are to have him diagnosed at this age.
^actually ^getting ^a ^bit ^emotionally ^here

I am 27 and got diagnosed this year with the PI variant. After 16 years of having a misdiagnosis of nvld(non verbal learning disorder) so I know what a label can do.

The brain develops social skills and other executive functions until the age of 25. After that you can't help him much more. Talk to his doctor about these. And see if you can get him some training in this. His brain at this age is still moldable and susceptible to changing his coping mechanisms. Learning the right way to handle these is key. It can help him tremendously.

A book tip to add to your stack smart but scattered teens edition
Note:I am not affiliated with that book

I recommend to read it and consult the Doc if you have questions about them and get your son trained in this with the Doc. By all means I am no expert and are just figuring my life out myself.

While this book is for parents with kids it has a lot of great info on exec skills and functioning, migh be helpful.

http://www.amazon.com/Smart-but-Scattered-Revolutionary-Executive/dp/1593854455/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1420913265&sr=1-1&keywords=smart+but+scattered

There is this one too
http://www.amazon.com/Smart-but-Scattered-Teens-Executive/dp/1609182294/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_y