Reddit reviews Talk to Me First: Everything You Need to Know to Become Your Kids' "Go-To" Person about Sex

https://www.amazon.com/Talk-Me-First-Everything-Go/dp/0738215082

https://www.amazon.com/Goodness-Sex-Changing-Sexuality-Values/dp/0062269518

Welcome to parenting with porn :D And uhh... you want to share that link with us? For science? Aherm... KIDDING....kinda... LOL

I've had four kids hit that point, two boys and two girls, and several more coming that way soon. Here's my recommendations...and feel free to take/leave what does or doesn't work for you:

• Normalize this. It's normal. I promise. That it is an educational video is AWESOME. I mean, none of us are delighted when our kids get interested in becoming sexually active (or at least start considering it), but this is SO much better than "hardcore face fucking gang bang". I swear.
  
  
• In line with this being normal, check out this book: It's Perfectly Normal (NOT a paid referral link).
  
  
• Also the book: What's Happening to My Body: A Book for Boys (Also not a paid referral link)
  
  
• Editing to add another great book I just thought of: Boy's Guide to Becoming a Teen (also not a paid referral link)
  
  
• Editing because I remembered another one! Talk to Me First It's a book for parents about how to have these conversations. Highly recommend :) Also not an affiliate link :)
  
  
• Give your kiddo a lot of kudos for looking at education videos! That's a pretty appropriate way to find things like this out. Then gently explain that some videos online aren't as educational, but are more just adult entertainment. Explain the laws about porn - that no one under 18 is allowed to see it, and that the police take that very seriously. Explain that these movies are like any other entertainment - Ask him, when he watches Avengers, does he actually think he is going to see explosions like that at the airport, or car chases like that driving down the road? Does any part of him REALLY think that when HE starts driving that sort of behavior is ok? Of course he doesn't. Same applies here - sex entertainment is like a Michael Bey flick - it's not intended to be realistic, but since people forget that because it's sex, it's easy to get caught up in the "glitz" of it all.
  
  
• Pay close attention to any of your own hangups about sex, and work REALLY hard not to give them to your kiddo, or at least acknowledge that they're YOUR hangups and not his. Where things are awkward of uncomfortable for you, SAY that and explain there's no reason to be, it's just from how things were explained to you when you were young. Explain you want to keep these conversations as comfortable as you can.
  
  
• Consider having a few different conversations about all of this, instead of a big heavy (cue music of dread and woe) SEX TALK. The goal isn't to micromanage his blossoming sexuality, it's to create a climate of trust and communication, so when he's 16 and fucking everything in sight, you guys can talk about how to be safe and keep priorities and boundaries clear.
  
  
• Keep it calm and light hearted. The last thing either of you want to do is teach him that "getting caught" with ANYTHING related to his sexuality is something to be ashamed of or that he'll "get in trouble" for doing. It's a biological and hormonal explosion in his brain right now, you can either work with it, or he'll hide it, but it is NOT going away.
  
  
• Make decisions that support his changing self. I get the urge to lock down websites that are inappropriate. I really do. But again, be careful to find the balance between protecting from inappropriate/illegal material and outright censoring. I use this: K9 Web Protection on my kids' electronics because it is SO customizable. Anything sex-ed related, abortion related, educationally related, is 100% unlocked at all times at my home. For my teens, Nina Hartley is unlocked as well - she's an avid sex educator and REALLY good at communicating the "how to" of sex clearly and without shame or being trashy. However...out and out porn? That's locked. I realize they'll likely find it SOMEWHERE, and parts of Youtube have plenty of softcore stuff, but my goal isn't to shield them from seeing sex. Sex is natural and normal and healthy and fun - I WANT my kids to know that! But I also want to make sure they aren't overexposed to things more graphic than they can process right now.
  
  It's about finding a balance. You got this mama. I promise.