Reddit reviews The Fantasy Bond : Structure of Psychological Defenses

I'm 30 and still working that out, but have made progress.

For me, the journey has heavily involved psychology books, through which I have come to understand myself and my hangups better. Karen Horney was great for me, Our Inner Conflicts and Neurosis and Human Growth are works of genius. Firestone's The Fantasy Bond has helped me out a lot as well.

At the end of the day, it becomes what everybody else says: you jump in feet first and do your best. Start hitting on girls in more situations. Start being more honest about what you want, instead of thinking you have to be all roundabout. Etc. If a man pretends to be disinterested in sex, a woman will assume he is disinterested in sex.

But getting to the stage where I could even begin to do that has involved a whole lot of fucking psychology, for me anyway.

I think it is an evolved response. According to attached, this is just an activated attachment system.

On Human Nature

[Pair-Bonding, Romantic Love, and Evolution](http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1745691614561683
Attached

Handbook to Attachment Theory

The Fantasy Bond

The Fantasy Bond : Structure of Psychological Defenses https://www.amazon.com/dp/0967668409/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_iSa9BbZWKEAV0