Reddit reviews The Wisdom of the Enneagram: The Complete Guide to Psychological and Spiritual Growth for the Nine Personality Types

Yeah I'd start getting annoyed too if I had to go by online resources and tests which have effectively mistyped me for years. Instead of taking online tests, read this book Wisdom of Enneagram which was published by the Enneagram Institute, or read through enneagram type profiles which is a free type description inventory from the same publication source.

This book

You could use the different Triads to determine your core type.


Intelligence Triads - Feeling vs Thinking


Feeling Triad (4): Primarily concerned with the development of a self-image. Have common problems with identity and hostility. Problems with identity stem from a rejection of one's own authentic self in favor of a persona that is believed to be more acceptable in some way. Respond with hostility whenever one's crafted identity is not validated. Highly concerned with issues regarding self-esteem, personal value, appreciation, and shame, and with getting others to validate the self-image that has been created. (Key words/phrases: self-image, stories, emotionality, holding on to moods, adapting to affect others)


Thinking Triad (5): Primarily concerned with finding a sense of inner guidance and support. Have common problems with security and anxiety. A pervasive fear or anxiety arises from a profound feeling of lack of support. Find solutions to gain some degree of security as a defense against fear. Cannot get mind to simmer down. (Key words/phrases: mental chatter, figuring it out, strategies, doubt, anxiety, fear, anticipation) Source


Harmonic Triads - Reactive vs Competency


Reactive Group (4): React emotionally to conflicts and people and have difficulties knowing how much to trust others. In conflicts, they want the other person to match their emotional state. They also need to deal with their feelings first, and usually once they are able to do so, things can blow over fairly quickly and permanently. This group also has difficulty balancing their need for independence and self-determination with their need to be nurtured and supported by others. They are either looking for advice and direction or defying it. Specific to the 4: They seek a rescuer who can understand them and support their life and dreams. They want to be seen. They fear abandonment and that no one will care for them. They also fear that they will not have enough support to find and become themselves. They deal with others by limiting access and playing "hard to get" to keep people interested in them, as well as hold on to their supporters.


Competency Group (5): These people deal with difficulty by putting aside personal feelings and striving to be objective, effective, and competent. Subjective needs and feelings are put on the back burner; they try to solve problems logically and expect others to do the same. This group also has issues related to working within the confines of a system or structure. They are not sure how much they want to give themselves over to the values of the system, and how much they want to withhold themselves from it. Specific to the 5: They emphasis being the expert and having deep information. They focus on the process, objective facts, and maintaining clarity and detachment. They manage feelings by splitting off and abstracting them. They also stay preoccupied and cerebral, as if their feelings were happening to someone else. They relate to systems by rejecting the system and wanting to work on their own, outside of it. They have little patience with rules or procedures. Source


Dominant Affect Triads - Frustration vs Rejection


Frustration Group (4): Never seems to be able to find what they are looking for; they can quickly become disenchanted with whatever previously seemed to be the solution to their desires. Specific to the 4: Fours are frustrated that they have not been adequately parented, and unconsciously expect valued others to protect and nurture them. When others fail to live up to their unrealistic expectations, Fours become frustrated and disappointed.


Rejection Group (5): The self is seen as small, weak, and potentially victimized, and others are seen as powerful, abusive, and rejecting. This group goes through life expecting to be rejected and so they defend themselves against this feeling in various ways. They repress their genuine needs and vulnerabilities, attempting to offer some service, ability, or resource as a hedge against further rejection. Specific to the 5: They feel negligible, on the sidelines of life, and therefore must compensate by knowing something or having some special skill so useful to others that they will not be rejected. Fives reduce the pain of rejection by cutting off their feelings from it. Source

Last spring, I spent three months reading the entirety of The Wisdom of The Enneagram and designing graphics in a Chicago Starbucks for my graphic design senior thesis.

I designed micro-compositions (what I've been calling them) for each type based on my research, as well as small format logos, posters outlining the relationships between types, and business cards that users can keep in their wallets for tough times.

I am by no means an expert, but I tried to be as accurate as I could.
Here are some of my other posters if you want to read more about the mission, and here's the test I made to fit on a business card.
Feel free to comment or message me if you want to talk!

My personal favourite is The Wisdom of the Enneagram.

It's based on the Enneagram classification of personality and unlike other personality type systems, it embraces spiritual and psychological growth in unison.

There's a test here which will help you understand what number you are (between 1 and 9. i'm a 4).

http://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Enneagram-Psychological-Spiritual-Personality/dp/0553378201/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1454037510&sr=1-1&keywords=enneagram

books on the different type of personality based on fears and desires. it will help you understand more about yourself at a subconscious level. why you act the way you are and it shows you how to grow spiritually from it.

I think this is from the book The Wisdom of the Enneagram and after you get your letter combo, you’re supposed to do the questionnaire for the type that is 20 or so questions. Then there is a range that suggests you are: likely that type, may have a wing or a parent of that type, could be a commonly misidentified type, or aren’t likely that type (or something along those lines). I had to do literally every single type questionnaire except for, like, 7 and 9, and ultimately figured out I was a 4w5 by reading the whole book and another book called “The Road Back to You.” But then again, that’s a pretty standard experience for a 4 to not know who they are and feel like they don’t fit in, right?

I just joined reddit and this was the first place I came. I'm not sure what that says about me but hi! A friend introduced me to the Enneagram, I got this book, and I've also been listening to Enneagram for Idiots podcast. I find this all so comforting and compelling!

I also find this one incredibly helpful.

As a four still working on the confident thing.

In that book, that is all. However from The Wisdom of the Enneagram, it says this:

7w8: The Realist

Healthy People of this subtype truly enjoy the world and are "materialistic" in the broadest sense of the word. They combine quickness with drive, often leading to material success and positions of power and prominence. They are determined to get what they want from life; they think strategically and can rapidly organize their internal and external resources in pursuit of their desires. They are earthy, practical, and tough-minded. Their sense of humor expresses itself in a biting wit and a taste for the outrageous.

Average People of this subtype apply their energies in many directions, multitasking or even "multicareering." They can be aggressive and have the willpower and drive to take care of their own needs. They tend to be more workaholic than the other subtype, coming from the strong desire to accumulate possessions and experiences. ("I'm worth it!") Their focus is more on generating activities than on connecting with people. Hence they tend to be pragmatic about relationships—looking for a partner, not a romantic fantasy figure. They are not afraid to be alone and are clear about their own expectations and how much they will tolerate. Directness can verge on bluntness and on pushing people out of the way to get what they want. They can be jaded and callous, in contrast to the childish hyperenthusiasm of the 6-wing.

Im INFJ, but I had a similar experience actually. Took me a while to really understand the enneagram, with the help of this book, a few events I went to, and talking about it with my ENTP boyfriend. I’d check out the wisdom of the enneagram if you’re interested:)

The Wisdom of the Enneagram: The Complete Guide to Psychological and Spiritual Growth for the Nine Personality Types https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553378201/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_9VDIAb3KJCTX6

Here is the mobile version of your link

I have had this EXACT experience, I think.

One thing I have realized recently is that there are always 2 sides to the story. From your perspective right now, you are an 'Energy Vampire,' a shameless victimizer, a user, a terrible person. But even as you find yourself shocked and horrified by this realization, ego will continue to hold on to this pattern, this view of yourself, because it represents POWER and CONTROL.

The other side of this pattern is the ADDICT--and if you think about this, it is pretty easy to see. An 'Energy Vampire' is just an addict; your drug is attention and approval. While the 'energy vampire' is all about power and control, the addict is all about helplessness--this is your experience with this new woman. She has you under her spell, you are experiencing yourself as helpless. It is a wonderful gift; she has shown you your shadow.

I would recommend this book to you:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Wisdom-Enneagram-Psychological-Personality/dp/0553378201/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1344033655&sr=8-1&keywords=the+wisdom+of+the+enneagram

I found it to be very useful following my encounter with my version of this woman. I would read the introductory chapters, and then just see which chapters jump out at you; it's not necessary to read it cover-to-cover.

I haven't found one. I don't usually like personality quizzes, instead preferring to read up on type summaries from various sources and make my own determinations. I know that doesn't work for everyone, though.

The one quiz I did like was the one from this book, which actually has a separate 15-question quiz for each type. You answer statements with numbers from 1-5 based on how strongly you relate to the statement, then add up your totals. Something like this could help you figure out a tritype; it would usually come out to be your top number in each triad, and your highest of those three is likely your core. This worked for me, my wife, and my brother. (The highest of the two numbers on either side of your core would likely be your wing.)

If you can't get a hold of this book (it's a seriously good resource if you're interested in the Enneagram!), you could try doing something similar with online quizzes: just find your highest score from each triad, and then read up on descriptions of that type and see if it fits you, and how well. You can sometimes find overall descriptions of different tritypes, but they aren't consistent in my experience.

I would suggest that you read this book and you make get a more in depth idea of the two types. My partner is a classic 9 and i'm a classic 4 (we both fit the types earily well) so I have a pretty clear idea of how each of them can look. It does sound like you have some aspects of both, but the motivations and fears of each type are pretty different.

Let us know if you figure it out! :)

it's from a book called "wisdom of the enneagram"

:) me too

Asking others is not a preferable method of discovering your type. Read all of the type descriptions closely, and if that doesn't do it for you, nonjudgmentally examine your behavior over the next few days. It can be a process, but the only one who can really type you is you.

Edit: I'd recommend using the Enneagram Institute's book, The Wisdom of the Enneagram if you can get your hands on it.