Reddit reviews When Sex Hurts: A Woman's Guide to Banishing Sexual Pain
We found 9 Reddit comments about When Sex Hurts: A Woman's Guide to Banishing Sexual Pain. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
I recommend doing so. I have a mild form of Vulvar vestibulitis syndrome and had virtually no assistance from medical professionals in finding this out. This book by Dr. Andrew Goldstien is very helpful in assisting you to find possible triggers for this problem (9/10 times this is a physical response to psychological stimuli), which means you can find some potential treatment plan. If you have a doctor who dismisses this issue as "all in your head", tell that doctor they can go royally fuck themselves, and find another if you can. Good luck!
Agree on lube... it could also be pelvic floor issues... this was a very good book: When Sex Hurts: A Woman's Guide to Banishing Sexual Pain https://www.amazon.com/dp/0738213985/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_9ZZIBbMJ8WF30
Useful even for just discomfort during sex
2015 ISSVD, ISSWISH, AND IPPS Consensus Terminology and classification of Persistent Vulvar Pain and Vulvodynia: This one is the official 2015 consensus on terminology, explaining the different types of vulval pain and vulvodynia, and crucially the associated factors that may play a role in vulvodynia. I think this one's a good one in terms of introducing the different medical terms that are often used.
When Sex Hurts by Goldstein et al: this book is aimed at patients and encourages you to take the book with you to your doctors appointment, it has a chapter on birth control and vulvodynia as well as other causes.
This article on recent advances in understanding vestibulodynia: it's open access so it's available in full, you can just download the pdf. This one's good because it goes through different causes, not only hormonal.
Study on use of topical estradiol and testosterone for vestibulodynia - should also be open access, this one is about results of a trial with estrogen/testosterone cream.
BSSVD guidelines on the management of vulvodynia - bit dated but should still be relevant.
Not a study, but podcast about someone who had vulvodynia due to the pill. More for your own info.
Probably late to the party but I'll add this in here in the hopes that someone sees it and benefits.
To all the people commenting saying they have similar problems, there are about 20 different issues you could have, and as evidenced in the comments/OP they're difficult to diagnose, BUT ALMOST EVERY SINGLE ONE IS COMPLETELY DIAGNOSIBLE AND TREATABLE. Do not assume because you have similar symptoms that your problem is an allergy.
Seek a qualified specialist and if all they do is give you UTI/STD tests then move on.
Finally, there's a book that covers all of them, if you find your doctor is getting you nowhere.
Lube is always a good idea. She may want to check out this book also and definitely see her doctor. It may be vaginismus or any number of other issues.
PSA (and for OP if GF isn't up for getting to Dr – this might persuade her):
When Sex Hurts: A Woman's Guide to Banishing Sexual Pain https://www.amazon.com/dp/0738213985/
Written by two MDs and a Physiologist. Check the product description and the reviews by the medical professionals immediately below the product description.
This was me years ago. I saw many doctors and they all said the same thing, more lube, you need to relax and the best just push through the pain. Turns out I had tight pelvic floor muscles, imagine getting a shoulder massage when your shoulders are incredibly tight, hurts like hell. Anyways the only solution was a year of pelvic floor physio and now there is no pain. The timeline was just for me, my friend went for 6 months and was fine. There is also a great book called "when sex hurts" (http://www.amazon.ca/gp/aw/d/0738213985) that's explains all the different reasons you might have pain with sex, it's a huge eye opener. Step one is knowing it isn't your fault at all and step two is knowing there is tons you can do to make this better. Google pelvic floor physiotherapists in your area and meet with one. Good luck!!!
Sounds like it might be vulvodynia. I have it (and its cousin, vestibulodynia) along with my vaginismus, and it sucks hard.
Before you see the dermatologist, it might be worth it to try some of these things:
*use milder laundry detergent and body wash (but DO NOT scrub your vulva)
None of these will cure you, but it might help a little. Check out r/vulvodynia if you have more questions. I also recommend the book When Sex Hurts if you want to read up before your appointment.
I would not recommend getting the dilator set and to self-treat. I will tell you why shortly. But first, I just want to say that what happened to her sucks and I'm sorry to hear it. There are pelvic muscles that surround the anus (or somewhere in the derriere anyway) and clenching those can clench the rest.
If her only experience was a painful one, it could have set off a chain of unfortunate events meaning that she now associates any form of penetration with pain. However, her religious background could also be a factor. If she feels guilty or shame about sex even on a subconscious level, then her body will want to physically protect her from it by tightening the pelvic floor muscles.
It sounds to me like professional help is required. I think therapy of both physical and mental kind will be needed. Now when I say mental therapy, I mean therapy for vaginismus. There are therapists who solely deal with fear of penetration and rewiring brain signals that send false alarms of danger to your body causing you to clench.
As for the dilators, it does not sound like she is ready yet. Sticking cold plastic inside you when it hurts is not something you willingly do to yourself unless you are highly motivated to do so. A GOOD physical therapist will guide you and show you how to do it on your own without any pain. Also, make sure that the physical therapist specializes in pelvic floor rehabilitation.
I also disagree with what the others said about this being a mild case. It's definitely much more than that. I had a strong case of vaginismus in the past and it got significantly better over time but never cured. I was in denial about it until my bf at the time bought me this: http://www.amazon.com/When-Sex-Hurts-Womans-Banishing/dp/0738213985. I read it and it helped me realize that there was still a problem. Sex is not supposed to be painful, even if it's a little bit of pain or pain that does not last long. Within that book, I found info that led me to local resources I could not discover in the past. I hope this helps. Best of luck to you both!