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u/IxCptMorganxI · 8 pointsr/AskMen

I could suggest lots of stuff, but I want you to learn to be okay with bringing ANYTHING up. I've told my wife the weirdest stuff and she still loves me (probably cause of my rockin' bod and hairdo). Talking about this kind of stuff used to scare me, but take those baby steps and you'll be on your way!

So, to bring it up I would just tell your husband that you discovered Love Languages today and that you found out yours is _____ and you would like to know his. You can do the quiz that's on the website, or you could even order the book.

If you are scared of him being offended, just reassure him that you want to be the best wife you can be and that you know he wants to be the best husband he can be. It'll tell you a lot about yourself and make you realize what exactly is important to you. Heck, I could even quiz you and probably help you discover your love language just in a few minutes here on Reddit. It's a simple concept, but will have huge effects.

I learned my wife's love language is Quality Time. I thought us being in the same room counted as that. I soon learned that it is much more than that. She doesn't care about being in the same room, but us having trips to ourselves, going out to do something special, and giving her my full attention. Similarly, my love language is Touch. I soon taught her that not all physical contact conveys love to me, so she now knows that instead of just patting me on the back, a kiss on the cheek shows love. There are many more examples so the stuff can get complex from a simple concept.

I think the best part about Love Languages is it gives you an easier way to bring this up. Normally you would probably say, "I wish you would do this more." If you guys read through the book or take the quiz and figure out your love languages it gives you a more scholarly (ie logical) approach to what you need rather than an emotional one. Makes the conversation easier. You could also make a game out of it and just ask him the questions and tell him the outcome and what it was for after you figure it out!

u/Magorkus · 1 pointr/AskMen

I'm sure that a lot of your complaints here are justified but one stood out to me and needs to be addressed. Obviously what I'm writing is only relevant if you really want to work to salvage things. If not, you've gotten some good advice elsewhere in this thread.

> "I don't feel loved." But I just brought you flowers and surprised you with a nice dinner.

As much as you'd like to believe otherwise, this is a legitimate concern and you are just dismissing it. Feeling loved is a complicated issue if you let it be. Or it can become really simple. Different people feel and express love differently. What might be meaningful to you and would make you feel loved might be meaningless to her. And that's ok. Everyone's different. But it is your job to figure out what "being loved" means to her and then it's your job to do whatever that is. The book The 5 Love languages makes this really easy. Figure out what her primary love languages is and then "speak" that language. It makes a huge difference.

I'm not trying to pick on you or make it out to be all your fault. I'm sure it's not. But this is one thing that you've mentioned that you do have influence over. When both parties in a relationship really feel loved it's crazy how many of those other problems can be resolved quickly and easily. And both parties feeling loved often starts with one person making the effort to make the other feel loved. I wish you the best of luck.

u/jellyready · 1 pointr/AskMen

Female here, but have been in the same boat. Grew up super isolated, so I spent a lot of my 20s on my own and really lonely. Now have several solid friendships, a lot of acquaintances and dating prospects. So, I see myself as a success story. A lot of people on here are saying they’ve given up or feel hopeless, but I’m here to tell you it can change.

That loneliness shit is universal/literally an epidemic at this point. It has a lot to do with how our modern society is structured; hyper-independence is lauded, but actually unnatural. It’s not a reflection on you and your likability or lack there of.

(read “Loneliness - Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection” for more info. It helped me see it wasn’t something inherently wrong with me, but just something everyone experiences. Some people moreso because of practical things like not socialized properly in childhood, lacking skills, etc. It also gives a lot of info of how to get out of the lonely headspace). https://www.amazon.ca/Loneliness-Human-Nature-Social-Connection/dp/0393335283

Also therapy, both individual and group, helped me learn social skills and build connections that got me healthier socially.

(Read “Attached” to learn more about how your style of relating to others may be unhealthy, with guidance on how to improve it.)
https://www.amazon.ca/Attached-Science-Attachment-Find-Keep/dp/1585429139

Basically, a quick recipe is:

  1. See the situation as cause and effect, not having anything inherently to do with you as a person or your worth. You’re lonely because of circumstances (that luckily you can control), not because you’re not likeable.

  2. See it as a choice. You’re not helpless. There are things you can do. First, find your blind spots/blocks (with a therapist if you need help seeing them).

    Is it: a lack of social skills? You can learn those. Tons of psych articles out there.

    A lack of confidence? Start building it through changing your thoughts about yourself (cbt, self-coaching, etc). And figure out things that make you happy and do more of them.

    A lot of social (and normal) confidence comes from how others treat us, so if you’re not getting a lot of positive feedback from other humans, get a pet that loves the shit out of you, some online pals, or GET A THERAPIST. A good one will make you feel valued and respected and welcome. Those feelings and that long term connection will build our confidence subtly but naturally.

  3. Go out more and do the things. First figure out what you enjoy, and then find social ways to do it. You could see a movie on your own, or start a movie night at your place. You could play games by yourself, or join a league. You could work on your car yourself, or join some enthusiasts club (idk I’m trying to think of dude things). You could take up knitting at home, or go to a knitting circle. Whatever it is.

  4. Mitigate Expectations - don’t go to a non-primarily-social place and hope/try for a best friend. The person behind you in the grocery store probably isn’t looking for that when you guys exchange a quick comment about the line length. Or the cashier probably doesn’t wanna have a three hour convo. But still chat these ppl up (platonically). Make small talk frequently. Just engage in the world/people around you. It builds social confidence and breaks through isolation in quick bursts. But do talk to people more.

    And then when in very socially-focussed environments, see if there’s anyone that YOU find interesting (instead of focusing on whether or not they’ll find you interesting) and go talk to them. Aim for having a good convo and maybe being fb friends. Take it from there.


    You all got this, dude friends. There is legit hope/resources out there to change, both tour mindset and your situation. I believe in you!
u/xthorgoldx · 1 pointr/AskMen

Just because you're LD doesn't mean you can't do gift-giving! Something I loved to do for my SO from time to time would be to give her little gifts - something I know she'd appreciate or enjoy, just as a sign that I was thinking of her, like a cheap meme shirt from some in-joke we shared or the like.

During LD, it seems harder to give gifts, since mailing's involved, but seriously - just plug her address into your Amazon account, and send her something from time to time. One of life's underappreciated joys is the thrill of getting a package in the mail you weren't expecting that turns out to be a thoughtful gift.

---

It largely depends on how your SO receives/expresses love, though. Shameless plug for Gary Chapman's "5 Love Languages," most of the ideas of which you can find with a google search, basically there are five "languages" in which your partner both expresses and wishes to receive love: words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, quality time, and gift-giving. While any expression of love can be received well, when you're speaking their "language" it will be particularly impactful. If you want to do something really meaningful for your partner, figure out their language and cater to it. Do they express their love with words, and thrive on receiving words in return? Send a love letter they can look forward to. Quality time? Try a cyber-date, be it a Skype session or maybe a co-op game of Portal 2 (would recommend even if you're not gamers :P).

u/autopornbot · 148 pointsr/AskMen

> I think I get just as much rejection as a guy would get

Doubtful. In Self Made Man, a woman lives a year undercover as a man. It's a really enlightening story, but one of the biggest realizations she comes away with is the massive amount of rejection men face. It blew her mind doing speed dating and things like that, being perceived as a loser and/or predator before even having a chance to open her mouth.

If you have approached 50+ men in a row and been laughed at, scorned, or ignored by every single one of them, you'll start to understand what it's like for many guys.

I'm really good at approaching women now, but it's because I spent decades trying and failing. I remember the first time I tried to cold approach a woman in a bar (she wasn't even all that attractive, I just thought she looked nice enough for me to get over my anxiety):

I walk up to her and her two female friends, timing it so that I don't just interrupt what they are doing but find a natural break in their interaction. Then I moved up close to her and said "hi, I'm /u/autopornbot."

She looked at me like I had just shat on her new rug and said "So?" and looked at me with such disgust that I couldn't speak. I just turned and walked away.

I had friends who simultaneously encouraged me to keep trying, and made fun of me for not wanting to. So over the years I kept trying. And for years, the most I ever got from a woman was a polite brush off. And this was when I was young (18-22) and in great shape, pretty good looking - I was told by women that I knew as a part of my friend circle that I was good looking and dressed well and a lot of them liked me - I had girlfriends, but they were all women I had met through work or through friends, so we knew one another for some time first and I never had to come up and introduce myself or anything.

Most of the guys I know have had the same experience. Most guys rarely ever go talk to a woman they don't know, because the fear of being seen as a creep are too high. Nowadays, I know how to walk up to an attractive women and strike up a conversation, and a lot of times it actually goes well. Doing this around most men will absolutely blow their mind. Simply walking up to a woman and talking to her for a couple of minutes is so far out of the realm of experience for most guys, that they act as if I have magical powers.

But that ability only came after suffering through hundreds of failures.

You are right, though. Women rarely do this. Of course the few that do don't land every hot guy they approach. But women are far more gifted socially than men, so they are a lot better to begin with, and most men are so happy to have any woman acknowledge their existence that attraction or no, they are pretty receptive to at least talking - though admittedly there are exceptions.

But do keep it up. Just having a woman come up and talk to us can make our entire week, even if it goes nowhere at all. And it's a really difficult thing to do - especially in a bar or similar environments where there is pressure to act really cool. It's far easier in friendly, daytime events and casual environments.

u/scratchnsniff · 13 pointsr/AskMen

Hey Op, great question. One thing I heard growing up was that it taste like sucking on a nickel and that the inside of a vagina felt like a softer version of the outside of a basketball. There's some truth to that but I think there are better approximations and those descriptions always left me wanting.

Some folks suggested feeling the inside of your mouth, specifically pressing your finger against your cheek. That's definitely close, but the sensation doesn't feel right because you're also touching yourself. Like trying to tickle yourself isn't a good approximation of what it feels like to be tickled. Oddly enough, if you have bigger dogs, the inside of their lips are relatively close to the texture you might feel inside a woman. This area between their upper gum line and the inside of their cheek http://i.imgur.com/ZZ4z89Y.png Vaginas are like a wetter, slipperier version of that. Women also have different areas inside their vagina that will provide different textures, I find the g-spot to be closer to that basketball texture. The inside of dog lips are weirdly close, enjoy not being able to unsee that.

As for taste, if a woman has recently bathed than I would say that they taste close to tomato juice. And no, not V8. Try cutting a fresh tomato, you will see nearly clear liquid come out from these areas http://i.imgur.com/Osm5KaL.png Now if you took that, strained it so it was just the liquid and no particulate and then warmed it up to body temperature, that's about as close as you can get. Though some women depending upon their arousal and hydration are have juices that are a little thinner or thicker. For a quick test, just let a tomato sit out at room temperature, jam your finger in and wiggle it around, taste and imagine there's not tiny chunks of tomato pulp.

Smell can vary, but as Hump_My_Face said lick the back of your hand then wait a 10 seconds and smell it. Depending on when they last cleaned up, it will be somewhere in the realm of that.

And yes, what you eat/drink can absolutely be carried over to her smell or taste. The same goes for guys, so maybe hold off on the coffee, garlic, and asparagus if you're hoping for a girl to go down on you.

And if you're looking for some pro tips, I highly recommend this book. It's not your typical sex advice book, and will definitely add new ideas, techniques, and confidence to your bedroom play. http://www.amazon.com/She-Comes-First-Thinking-Pleasuring/dp/0060538260

tl;dr

The feeling of a vagina is like the inside of a dogs upper lip

The taste of a vagina is close to the natural juices left over after cutting a tomato

The smell of a vagina is what you smell after licking the back of your hand and waiting 10 seconds

u/LouBrown · 1 pointr/AskMen

I'll suggest both of you read a book that was recently passed on to me. While I don't agree with everything the author says, I think the overall message is an important one: different people feel loved in different ways.

The author breaks down five different love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, quality time, and gifts.

From the sound of things, "words of affirmation" are important to you. You need to hear him say, "I love you!" and tell you that you're the bee's knees from time to time, right? Great.

My take on the problem is that "words of affirmation" aren't a big deal to him, so he has a difficult time understanding why they're a big deal to you.

I think the book does a pretty good job of explaining how it's important to express love in the way your partner appreciates even if it's not the way you appreciate it. It might help you both sort things out a little. If you don't want to splurge for the book, just googling "love languages" will probably provide some good material.

u/thatmorrowguy · 2 pointsr/AskMen

It depends both on the guy and on the girl. There is a pretty well known book called The Five Love Languages that talks about how different people express affection in different ways, and how different people prefer their partner to show affection. Their 5 main categories are :

  • Words of Affirmation - unsolicited complements, "I Love You", etc.

  • Quality Time - obviously, spending time with eachother

  • Giving/Receiving Gifts

  • Acts of Service - doing nice things for the other person

  • Physical Touch - not just bedroom stuff, but hugs, caresses, kisses, etc.

    Depending on the guy, they might be most comfortable showing their affection in one of these ways. However, if you know that your partner really values a different way, then go out of your way to try to do that for them.
u/Soup-Master · 1 pointr/AskMen

I strongly recommend Models: Attract Women Through Honesty. I listened to the audio book via audible and it really helped me understand why I personally had issues with women and was in a similar position. A lot of similar books take a more pickup artist side of meeting and attracting women, but Mark does an excellent job explaining why that doesn’t work in the long run. He goes through what works for him, and breaks down a lot of the issues men face and how deal with it from the ground up rather than just bandaid solutions. It’s a great starting point in understanding and improving yourself. You have to do some leg work in figuring and applying this stuff but I definitely recommend.

I can go into my experience if anyone is interested, though the real meat and potatoes are in the book, and it’s a must read/listen to for men who struggle with attracting women at any stage of the relationship or courtships.

u/love_to_sleep_in · 3 pointsr/AskMen

Both of you might find these books helpful:

The five love languages This one is great for determining the ways you and your spouse like to give/receive love. It is a AMAZING book!

Not "just friends" This one is really for people who are going through an affair, but it is a good read to help "affair-proof" your marriage by learning about the dynamics that happen when affairs begin between platonic friends.

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!!!!

u/Sudain · 1 pointr/AskMen

Glad I could help.

The core idea of the 5 love languages is everyone receives love in a different way. For example, if I bought you a bouquet of flowers you may feel loved, and valued. However someone else may not want flowers - they instead would want me to take a walk for while holding hands, just being mentally present. Everyone is different, and the book presents these ideas and encourages couples (it's aimed at couples) to discuss how they can feel valued and appreciated. One of the major tricks is that what you need to feel valued and appreciated is how you'll likely try to express the same feeling - but that may not be how your partner receives value and appreciation. I'd highly encourage reading the book when you get a chance.

https://www.amazon.com/Love-Languages-Secret-that-Lasts/dp/080241270X

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

u/Ollivander451 · 6 pointsr/AskMen

Awhile ago there was a woman who dressed up as a man - IIRC it was for like a magazine article or a book or something. But she documented her life as a woman, for a period of time - a week or a month or whatever it was. Then dressed up as a man and did the exact same things over again. Went to the same places, did the same things, etc. She even dated as both genders. She concluded that there are good things and bad about both genders so largely it ends up pretty even. i.e. - women had to put up with subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) harassment, but men couldn't get any special treatment like talking your way out of a speeding or parking ticket. The one conclusion that stuck with me (and the reason I actually remember any of this) was that dating in particular was harder as a man. As a woman she could dress up a little, go to a bar, and a couple of guys would buy her drinks and virtually all of them would ultimately ask her out. But when she did the same thing as a man she found it was a lot harder to get positive responses from women. She could dress up as a good-looking man, but just approaching and talking to women and buying drinks wouldn't guarantee her a date. Then, once on the date, a lot of pressure is on the guy to be a gentleman but not too old-fashioned or overly formal. Do you open her car door? Hold out a hand to help her out of the car? Open the restaurant door? Let her go in first? Help her off with her coat? Pull out her chair at the restaurant? Stand up when she gets up to powder her nose? Order a bottle of wine for the table? Order dessert? Pay for the whole check or take her up on splitting it? Help her put her coat back on? Hold the door again? Open her car door? Help her into the car? etc... And none of that even went on to the things that are traditionally seen as the man's responsibility to initiate, like the first kiss, sex, etc.

(sorry I searched for the source but couldn't locate...guess reddit will have to take my word for it)

tl;dr => There was an author/reporter who did this and found that in life male/female kinda balances out, but in dating men have it harder.

edit: found it - http://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/dp/0143038702 - it was a book and she was "undercover" for 18 months

u/AutomaticDesk · 2 pointsr/AskMen

read up on cognitive behavioral therapy

i started reading this book ( https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336 ) a while back but haven't gotten very far. that said, it is very helpful in explaining why you think the way you do, with examples. it's also in the first person from the author, so it helps that it sounds like someone is saying these things to you

you don't need to actually action on anything now. that can be daunting. but understanding why you have the internal monologue and why it's hard to get away from is a really good start

any remotely useful advice below will be better learned from reading the book

best of luck!

u/Righteous_Dude · 28 pointsr/AskMen

> I wanna do something simple and nice for my boyfriend

Are you familiar with the book "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman?

It suggests that each man and woman has a "love language" that speaks more to them,
one of these five: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch.

So each person in a couple could think about what is theirs, and let the other person know. For example, if a woman's "love language" is words of affirmation, she would consider a gift a nice gesture, but she'd rather hear the words of affirmation more often. If her husband is giving her plenty of gifts, she may still not feel loved.

A person sometimes expresses their own desired love language to their partner, assuming their partner has the same. So the woman may give her husband lots of words of affirmation, when really he is starved for some physical touch. If she learns what actually speaks to him, she can then express love in his desired form.

So, OP, consider or ask your boyfriend which of those five sorts of things would he most think shows your care for him. And while you're at it, let him know what most appeals to you.

u/idrac1964 · 2 pointsr/AskMen

My man - get yourself a safety razor and enjoy all of the luxuries that a single-bladed disposable razor offers without any of the downsides

The blades are so dirt cheap. Like they're 10 cents a piece if you buy it online.

Something like this: https://www.amazon.ca/Edwin-Jagger-Heather-Ladies-Double/dp/B00K6Z1R60/ref=sr_1_27?keywords=safety+razor+short+handle&qid=1567133206&s=gateway&sr=8-27

And blades like this: https://www.amazon.ca/Astra-Superior-Premium-Platinum-Double/dp/B001QY8QXM/ref=sr_1_5?keywords=safety+razor+blades&qid=1567133246&s=gateway&sr=8-5

​

The nice thing about a safety razor is when you want to clean out the hair, all you have to do is unscrew the top a few turns and it loosens up and gives you more clearance in-between the blade and the handle - the water washes the hair right out.

I go through about 1 blade a week, so my shaving bill is now literally 40-50 cents per month, and it is way better than disposables.

u/Valkes · 14 pointsr/AskMen

Trim and file your nails. If you cut her she will cut you.

Don't rush. There's no reason to go leaping toward the clitoris like a bull at it's gate. Take your time with her. Explore her body. Warm her up.

Talk to her. Tell her how sexy she is. How much you want her. Ask her how she likes to be touched. Have her guide your fingers in the motion she likes on her clit.

If something starts working and she tells you not to stop, don't stop doing whatever it is you're doing. I don't care if your hand feels like it's gonna fall off. Play through the pain. In my experience 90% of the work that actually feels good for most girls is going to happen without penetration.

Now, depending on the girl she may like a bit of g-spot stimulation. About two or three inches in her vagina on the upper wall, that's the bit that's nearest the clitoris, there may be a series of fleshy wrinkles. That's the g-spot. What you're gonna want to do here is make a sweeping sort of "come here" motion.

Start with a single finger, I like the middle one, and add more as she loosens up.

Here's some reading for you.

Just remember that the most important part of good sex is communication. Pay attention to what your partner is doing, saying, and feeling. GL HF


Oh, and dry = bad. Lube your fingers up.

u/realslacker · 6 pointsr/AskMen

These two books helped me:

  • Models: Attract Women Through Honesty by Mark Manson
  • No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert A. Glover

    A big take away is to stop worrying about impressing women with your niceness. Don't say or do things hoping to get anything in return, don't build a friendship hoping to turn it into something. Get some hobbies, work on yourself, and just be a real genuine nice person and things will turn around.

    Two years ago I couldn't get a date to save my life. Now I date regularly. I attribute it to #1 not giving a fuck, #2 having more confidence, and #3 being in better shape. In that order.
u/vhmPook · 1 pointr/AskMen

My therapist recommended me this book: Feeling Good

It's not going to cure you or anything but I found it very enlightening. Firstly, it'll help you realize what you're feeling isn't completely foreign and can be understood. Secondly, it'll give you some quick and easy techniques to help change some of your thinking. I've always considered myself a very logical person but sometimes you don't realize how far astray you can get in certain areas.

I'd check it out, most local libraries will have it. It's a bit on the larger side but you can easily skip around to the relevant sections.

u/Trollkarlen · 39 pointsr/AskMen

Here are the Amazon reviews on it

There are some downsides though. It's messy (My sink looks like a war zone afterwards) but easy to clean up even when dry, its smelly, and you can't "partially" shave so your ass will be SMOOTH. Some people have bad reactions to stuff like this so try it on a small patch of arm/chest/leg whatever first, just to make sure your body is fine with it.

But for me, well worth those downsides, works super well.

u/UmbrellaExecutive · 1 pointr/AskMen

Mmm...I'd say 3 times a month or if there's a special occasion coming up.

I use this as my primary tool. The dual ends are pretty useful. I use the trimming edge on my chest hair, and use the shaving end to hut my tummy and pubes (I leave a train to the belly button though, and I trim that with the trimming edge).

I go over my pubic area with a razor after using the bodygroom though. It gets pretty close but not close enough, and the trimming edge will nick your perineal raphe,so I am gentle on the ball sack with the bodygroom.

For the most part my grooming is strictly personal preference. I'm not all overly sexually active but just feel like less hair appears and feel more clean.

u/anti09 · 1 pointr/AskMen

Witch Hazel is the ingredient: it's a natural plant extract. You can get it at the drugstore, but unscented witch hazel smells a bit funky to some, so I would recommend one of the Thayer's varieties which smells quite pleasant, and also includes aloe vera and vitamin E for extra moisturizing.

If I sound like an infomercial for W_E, it's only because of how pleased I am with DE shaving since making the switch. It's transformed a painful chore into a hobby I enjoy. And if nothing else, you can save a ton of money: the blades I use are currently selling for 11 cents apiece on Amazon and they last about a week (4-5 shaves each). I spent $11 on two years worth of blades - how much did you spend on cartridges?

u/LaTuFu · 473 pointsr/AskMen

Here are a few books I would highly recommend for men (and women as well):

  • Wild at Heart by John Etheredge. For Men. The companion book for Women is Captivating. These are Christian books, discussing God's design for men and women. Even if you are not a Christian and have no desire to be, I think you may find some of the discussion very revealing or at the very least intriguing. These are not so much good "learn to communicate" books, as they are "understanding who I really am on a basic level" books.

  • Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. Another Christian Book, this one on the biblical view of marriage. Again, if you're not a Christian, I still recommend it as a resource for marriage. There are some fundamental principles of marriage that transcend religion that can benefit both spouses. For men and women.

  • Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie. This book is required reading if you or your partner grew up in a household with an addict (parent or sibling), an abusive parent, or single parent/divorced home with high conflict. It is not faith based, for men and women.

  • The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This is a great book that breaks down how we're all different, and we get our needs in a relationship satisfied in different ways. Understanding what your partner needs is fundamental to having a healthy relationship.

  • The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman. This is another great resource for understanding effective communication within an intimate relationship, whether you are male or female.

    After that, if you have more specific issues in your story, like childhood trauma, there are more specific routes to go down. I also strongly encourage enlisting the aid of a counselor, therapist, and/or pastoral counselor if you or your partner are struggling with childhood baggage.

u/TheOldGuy54 · 40 pointsr/AskMen

Read this book! It is not about becoming a dick to others but learning to stand up for yourself

​

No More Mr Nice Guy by Dr Robert Glover

https://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339

​

"Nice Guy Syndrome" trying too hard to please others while neglecting one's own needs, thus causing unhappiness and resentfulness. It's no wonder that unfulfilled Nice Guys lash out in frustration at their loved ones, claims Dr. Glover. He explains how they can stop seeking approval and start getting what they want in life, by presenting the information and tools to help them ensure their needs are met, to express their emotions, to have a satisfying sex life, to embrace their masculinity and form meaningful relationships with other men, and to live up to their creative potential.

u/boolean_sledgehammer · 1 pointr/AskMen

I often recommend this book to guys who describe themselves like this. It's not going to solve all your problems, but it will definitely help you gain some much-needed perspective on what is keeping you back.

If you ask me, getting that perspective is all you need to start changing your life for the better. It isn't easy, but it's worth doing.

u/Woollen · 42 pointsr/AskMen

It isn't wrong to be kind - just be kind to everyone! :)

You start to push the "nice guy" barrier when you expect people to let you in their pants as a reward for your "kindness". Be kinda because you enjoy it, not because you expect some sort of reaction from others.

"No More Mr. Nice Guy" seems to be recommended around Reddit a lot. Might be worth a read.

u/fzxtreme · 47 pointsr/AskMen

Probably will be buried.

Most people are posting about manscaping but I'd like to offer a method instead of just saying do it.
I use a product called magic shave powder, link below. It's like Nair but won't fry your skin and will leave you porn-star smooth. Just add water, stir until it becomes creamy and apply to area for 5-10 minutes. Then just wash it off and watch the hair fall away. A trim before had would be best so you can get the cream onto the skin.

Trust me, it works amazingly. Link:

https://www.amazon.com/Magic-Shaving-Powder-ounce-fragrant/dp/B0048ZIFA0

u/DAM1313 · 1 pointr/AskMen

I really identify with what you wrote, and I feel like two things that have helped me might help you and anyone else who reads this:

  1. Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy By Dr. David Burns, a book that teaches you about CBT and how to apply it

  2. meditation. Seriously, find a guided meditation app/videos like take10 and pick it up when you're feeling stressed. I'm trying to make it a daily habit because when I do it consistently I feel much better about myself. It's like the next level of taking a moment and just enjoying being alive.
u/afarkas2222 · 1 pointr/AskMen

Yes, this happened to me frequently. Best advice I got was to use a bidet to replace wiping. So happy I did. Water is the best solvent for this kind of cleaning and you don't have to use dry scratchy paper that never really gets it done. It was a game changer for me. I don't feel civilized without access to a bidet. Less than $30 on Amazon. http://smile.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B003TPGPUW/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1420015165&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX200_QL40

u/P1ggy · 23 pointsr/AskMen

New dad to a 1 year old here.

  • Be prepared to support your wife through emotional times.
  • I recommend this book which I found funny yet pretty informative.
  • Start working out with a kettle ball of at least 15-20 lbs doing lifts similar to picking up a baby. Strengthen that lower back. You will repeatedly pick up the baby a lot.
  • Look into and take your paternity leave. Too many guys skip out on this. But it does two things. Gives you bonding time, and saves you money. Daycare is expensive.
  • Look into daycare costs so you are prepared.
  • Look into local mothers clubs. They usually let in dads. Those groups give away a ton of free gear. They also connect your wife with other women going through the exact same thing. They will have answers you cannot give.
  • Do not tell friends or family until after the first trimester. Miscarriages happen more often than expected early on. Having to explain this to friends or family is not something you want to do.
u/StabbyPants · 17 pointsr/AskMen

read models.

Talk to women. Talk to men. Talk to old women you have no sexual interest in about things that come to mind (yours or theirs). collect cool stories. Pursue hobbies for the sake of doing something awesome (more stories).

Hit the gym - a better body looks better and feels better.

u/mf_dk43 · 1 pointr/AskMen

I'm gonna list one book that has helped me tremendously in my life as far as confidence and being a man, its No More Mr. Nice Guy and it is a fantastic book that I highly recommend. The second book is by a guy who've I've read a lot of content of and he's basically a life coach. He just wrote a new book which I think is exactly what you're looking for, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

u/TomorrowsJoe · 116 pointsr/AskMen

well shit man, you're gonna make me cry. I've had a relationship very similar to this and I have to say there is nothing really like it. However as special as you might think this person is; just remember that part of that emotion can also be nostalgia. When it comes to our needs and wants as human beings in relationships. We tend to overlook the negatives for the positives because (depending on how much abuse we are willing to deal with) sometimes those precious moments of mundane life can be just as powerful if not more powerful than the heartbreak dealt in it's absence.

To be honest; ever since I was a kid I has a romanticized view of women. That through trial and error I would meet "the one". Someone who brings the concept of "kindred spirits" to the next level. They get your sense of humour, they don't disappear or mock when you do stupid shit; they understand your aspirations and dreams; but more importantly they deeply understand inner workings of your pathos while bringing their own interesting perspective and pathos along with them. To make a sort of intermingling of emotions; like oil and water shaken up in a bottle intermingling but never a carbon copy of each other; only complimenting each other.

The sad reality however is that this shit doesn't really exist..
Don't get me wrong; you can find close to this if you are lucky which is what you probably found with the girl you are describing. However the older I get the more I realize that the concept of "oneitis" only hurts you in the long run. What turns from a 2 year relationship; might turn into 2 later years of mourning of that prior relationship due to the concept of how "special" or "unique" this girl is. I know this feeling deeply as i've dealt with it a couple of times. The truth is that these girls aren't actually that "unique" or "special".
Of course everyone is unique in their own way and there are no perfect copies of anyone. However when you start to date a large amount of women the "unique" traits; become less "unique" and more similar. People aren't as special as they make themselves out to be. We have similar molds and the girl you thought that was like no other; probably has millions of very similar copies. I know this is making me out to be like a dick; but i wouldn't write this novel if I wasn't trying to pass on some painful knowledge that I received from previous relationships if I didn't relate to your struggle.

This last piece of advice is even going to sound more asshole-ish/nihilistic, but the way I was back in my other relationships (and correct me if i'm wrong about yours because i hate to project incorrect psychological analysis). I would generally put the girl on a pedestal and value what made her happy more than what made me happy. This is what ended all of my relationships in horrible ways. From cheating to 1 week breakups to flat out insulting rejections; a large portion of putting these girls on pedestals was valuing them more than myself. This comes from a position of broken self-esteem. The moment I started having less attatchment to the females in my life and started living for myself. The more girls i started dating and guess what; if you want to ever meet a girl that's similar to the experience you had with your SO. Then you are going to have to play the numbers game and I mean quickly. When i say this I don't mean sleep with as many women as possible, but meet and become on friendly terms with as many people as you possibly can and then select the ones that you connect with the most. This will not only make your dating life way better; but it will change the way you view relationships. You wont be so desperate to latch onto a girl, because you wont see the girl as angelic saint diety goddess. However as a person with their own attributes, idiosyncrasies and flaws. This is one of the most singular things that has improved my life; and since you seem to have shared a similar relationship past with mine I just thought I would share it with you.


Anyways,
Whether you take my advice or not, man
I wish you peace, brother.

Also if you want to dive deeper into why women are more attracted when you are less attatched/emotionally responsive read this:
https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty/dp/1463750358

It's PUA without being a complete narcissistic superficial dick.

Pce.

u/theedang · 1 pointr/AskMen

My cousin is about 3 months along now and her husband had this on his coffee table.

http://www.amazon.com/Be-Prepared-Gary-Greenberg/dp/0743251547/ref=pd_bxgy_b_text_y

I feel like he's handling it very well. Admits he's scared shitless and unsure of it all, but his friends and family are very supportive and he's thankful for it and takes any advice he can get from them.

u/philosopherking99 · 1 pointr/AskMen

Two things I've noticed to be miraculous:

  1. if you need to use blades (to get really really close shave), have you tried tea tree oil? It's magic. Honestly a fantastic remedy for ingrown prevention.

  2. I stopped using blades because they always irritated my skin too easily. I found God when I discoverer that this type of electric razor (body groom http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0037HP9OA?pc_redir=1414086677&robot_redir=1 ) can be used for facial hair as well. It's as good as a blade and never provokes irritation like blades or those circular like electric shavers!
u/gotthelowdown · 1 pointr/AskMen

> Guys, please check out the reviews for this shit on amazon. I'm dying laughing in my office!

For which product?

This was one for the NOW Foods psyllium husk capsules that got me to click "Add to Cart." It's by Maven Carraway:

>Quest For No-Wipe

> Recently I embarked on a journey for the holiest of holies. The holy grail of bowel movements, if you will: one which results in a "ghost wipe".
>
> A wise woman once said "Nothing is as overrated as sex, and as underrated as a good bowel movement."
>
> While I can't completely agree with that, I will say this: These pills are saving me tens of dollars every year on toilet paper.
>
> Tell me, human, does your day not seem brighter when you wipe, look at your toilet paper and realize it was a clean break?
>
> I take 4 in the morning and 4 at night with copious amounts of water and this seems to do the trick. Bravo, psyllium husk.

On that topic, I've yet to read customer reviews funnier than those for Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml on Amazon.co.uk.

u/dxdrummer · 2 pointsr/AskMen

I dealt with social anxiety issues in college which affected my grades and tanked my social life.

Once I graduated I decided to put a stop to it and pursued multiple customer service and sales roles. I ended up working in Banking as a teller when interest rates were abysmal and nobody trusted banks due to the mortgage crisis.


I also started reading a TON of books on social skills, psychology, dating, etc. The best book to help me be less shy and less anxious was [Models](Models: Attract Women Through Honesty https://www.amazon.com/dp/1463750358/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_BXmazb9EH2ZTQ), which is most commonly referred to as a Pickup Artist book


Now, I know the PUA community gets a bad rap (and deservedly so for some of it's advice/content), but I should point out that there are two camps:


  • "The Outer Game", which involves 'negging' and emotionally manipulating people (the one that everyone hates)


  • "The inner game", which basically says that you should focus on yourself, do what you want, and find like minded people.


    The "inner game" is what "Models" is about and it helped me drastically improve my comfort in social situations and forge some deep friendships I wouldn't have previously.
u/limeyskook · 1 pointr/AskMen

This was my favorite “dad” book — funny, but surprisingly practical.

Make reading to your child part of bedtime routine. For my two, it played a big role in making books and reading a natural part of their environment later on, and the dividends of that pay off in school. Ditto for taking them to the library. Even when it seems silly reading to an infant, it’s a great way for them to hear your voice. And you can literally read them anything — newspaper, Reddit!

Spending time alone with a baby can get boring, so don’t be afraid to leave the house with them. I was a part-time stay at home dad for a few months, and I don’t know what I would have done if I never left the house with my son!

u/naesos · 1 pointr/AskMen

Yeah I guess even though we try honesty and communication, it takes two people to be aware of themselves to have a good relationship. I feel like people who are actually considerate about these matters like you, or I or anyone else that views these matters with weight are in the minority.

Just because we are being honest doesn’t mean another person is nor do they know their attachment style. I did read this book, https://www.amazon.com/dp/1585429139/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_RQuEDbRPWEEQV

Attached, because I wanted to understand people better and avoid pitfalls, but again, not everyone can communicate. Maybe it’s an age thing, I’m 28 years old, and seems like my dating pool just isn’t quite “there” yet. Like another person here suggested, focus less on dating and instead on the self. Learn to move on from things and not let bad happenings traumatize too much. And most importantly, keep learning and maybe even get there some day. I see too many failed marriages. I want to get it right the first time.

u/powergeeks · 2 pointsr/AskMen

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts https://www.amazon.com/dp/0802473156/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_H8yAub19MAMFC
Not gonna lie, I read this and really enjoyed it.

u/JustOneVote · 152 pointsr/AskMen

What really surprises me is, well, how women view men. Whenever /r/askmen has threads asking the woman subscribers what they've learned, "that men have feelings/insecurities" is always a popular post. It's great to hear that they've learned that, but kind of worrisome to know that they had to learn it.

To quote from your /r/askwomen thread:

>That people are people, and men aren't these mysterious mystical terrifying powerful unfeeling creatures... they are human beings and not that different from me.

Which sounds beautiful until you realize that was the surprise. Here's what she actually thought about men:

>For a long time, I thought men were immune to that... that they didn't ever feel anything or care about people or women, and never were insecure or worried or anything like that.

I don't mean to pick on /r/AskWomen or that particular user. It's just one example of a common opinion about men. It also bothered me when reading about Self-Made Man. Norah Vincent says that she thought living as a man would be all about power, privilege, and freedom. So shocked was she that this wasn't the case she ended up in group therapy and ultimately cut the experiment short. Along with "men can feel sad too", she also had other revelations, such as "husbands love their wives". Thanks for the insights, Norah. I have always felt that the reason the author had so many difficulties and "revelations" during her experiance living as a man is that she went in with so much prejudice and so little empathy.

Apart from a few aspects of menstruation, nothing I read in /r/askwomen was a surprise. I certainly disagree with much of what is said there, to the point of being an ass, but disagreeing has never prevented me from seeing their perspective. The biggest surprise about women over the past year has been about how they view men.

I never realized how alien I was to women. It's scary and disheartening, and I'm hugely appreciative to the women in my life that treat me like a human being after discovering so many assumed I was an unfeeling robot with a sex-drive. At the same time, it's made me hugely distrustful and unwilling to open up to them, emotionally. And as such I end up perpetuating the myth.

u/SomeRandomXY · 2 pointsr/AskMen

Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy

Huge leaps in understanding the human mind, great for anyone who wants to better themself.

u/BiggieTex · 2 pointsr/AskMen

I agree with this advice. Pick up the book, the 5 Love Languages ( http://www.amazon.com/The-Love-Languages-Secret-Lasts/dp/0802473156 ). Every person has a different way of communicating and receiving love.

u/Bizkitgto · 10 pointsr/AskMen

Fight Club - It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything

Runner-up: No More Mr Nice Guy - take back your manhood!! Models is awesome too, someone mentioned it on here. I think these go well together.

u/Rev1917-2017 · 12 pointsr/AskMen

For those that need to learn from a literal professional. Here is a nsfw video of Nina Hartley explaining how to eat pussy. https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5712f4fcadf9c

Take notes y'all.

For those who want a more scientific approach, there's a book called she comes first.

https://www.amazon.com/She-Comes-First-Thinking-Pleasuring/dp/0060538260

Breaks down the female anatomy, gives really solid advice.

Between that book, that video, and responding to my partners body (that's the most important key, be aware of your partner and respond to their body) I've never had a partner that wasn't amazed at how well it all went. Sometimes I tell them that I learned it thanks to a book and a porno. Sometimes I just act like I'm a sex god. Really I just know it's because lots of guys don't know even the basics of sex and so all I have to do is not be shit at it :D

edit:

Oh also, do kegels. And reverse kegels. When I'm going at it, I'll do reverse kegels, and if I'm about to finish, and don't want to yet, I'll pull out, and do kegels just a hold for about 10 seconds.

u/klousGT · 3 pointsr/AskMen

Models: Attract Women Through Honesty
http://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty/dp/1463750358

Not because it revealed some great hidden secret or changed the way I thought about women or how the world works. It validated what I had been thinking for some time.

u/facebookgivesmeangst · 1 pointr/AskMen

Best advice is buying and reading this book. BE PREPARED, is a quick read with practical advice like How to baby proof a hotel room in 5 min, what to pack in a Guy diaper bag. Be Prepared book

u/Diablos_lawyer · 1 pointr/AskMen

I used to suck at dating and interpersonal relationships in general, I'm still not the best at it but whatever. What helped me out a bunch was reading some books.

How to win friends and influence people

What every body is saying

Attached

u/Inspectrgadget · 2 pointsr/AskMen

Read this book and then ask him to do the same: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts https://www.amazon.com/dp/0802473156/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_8nHIub1QFBKNX

u/nightgames · 1 pointr/AskMen

Get a safety razor like this one by Merkur. You can even find kits that come with shaving cream, and a brush. The blades are super cheap too so you end up saving money over time.

u/NZAllBlacks · 20 pointsr/AskMen

http://www.amazon.com/Astor-Non-Electric-Mechanical-Attachment-CB-1000/dp/B003TPGPUW

They all kind of work the same, but this is the one I have. It is placed under the back of the seat and attaches to the fresh water supply coming out of the wall. It's amazing.

u/Rainbowbloodunicorn · 1 pointr/AskMen

I use the Philips Norelco Bodygroom and it legit does wonders especially if you get hairy down there like me.

I actually got one after watching Conan and hearing him make fun of his producer Jordan for having one. It's really helpful and I prefer it over using a razor or anything else now.

u/SpagNMeatball · 1 pointr/AskMen

Since I have a girlfriend, major manscaping every 2 weeks, light trimming before I expect sexy times

Shaving/Trimming

TOOLS- GET ONE OF THESE Norelco BodyGroom pro. Its works great on all below the neck hair.

Trimmed short around the base. Sack is trimmed short, not bald for sweat control reasons. Shaft is shaved.

u/prodikl · 3 pointsr/AskMen

you win 100 percent of the shots you dont take right

it's weird, but going up to a group of girls and chatting to them shows a lot of balls, granted you know how to hold a conversation.

check out this book models if you haven't already, might be helpful

u/[deleted] · 3 pointsr/AskMen

As a black guy that had to learn about shaving the hard way, the best advice I can give you is to get a double edge shave, a good set of blades, skin treatment, find a shaving cream that works for you (I prefer to use conditioner), and vist /r/wicked_edge.

u/show_time_synergy · 1 pointr/AskMen

Be Prepared

It's like someone wrote an actual manual for babies. Best practical advice I found (and I'm the mom.) The book is geared towards dads but the advice is mostly for both parents.

Also an hilarious read - they included a chapter called Bidding Farewell to the Breast

u/TheDarkHorse83 · -101 pointsr/AskMen

When did using your words become a problem for people?! Is she deaf? Then learn how to sign "I love you" and be fucking done with it.

Want more than that? Then learn their love language and do that. Don't know what I'm talking about? Then Read a damn book!

u/bastion72 · 13 pointsr/AskMen

At first I thought you were telling the truth and thought you might like this book: http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041

But then you TL;DR and I laughed.

u/crazyex · 8 pointsr/AskMen

Read this

IIRC it explains ways people who need admiration enjoy receiving it.

u/No_big_whoop · 1 pointr/AskMen

My trick is keeping my asshole clean so my butthole doesn't itch. This fucking thing is the best $26 I ever spent.

u/SimianSlacker · 1 pointr/AskMen

Learn to eat pussy really really good. She won’t care if you cum in 2 seconds or 2 hours, especially after she’s cum twice.

Pro Tip: Read this book... She Comes First: The Thinking... https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060538260?ref=yo_pop_ma_swf

u/bubble_boy · 1 pointr/AskMen

I'm 28 and struggle with interacting in a non-platonic way (went on my first date at 25). There has been some improvement though - I don't have any major embarrassments because of reading about dating for so long, but people do judge you more harshly if you're older and awkward.

This book was pretty helpful for me.

u/Magicman_22 · 1 pointr/AskMen

this is the one i’ve been looking at

pretty highly rated, good reviews. gonna be purchasing this one. hope this helps :)

u/davemchine · 1 pointr/AskMen

If you are doing things for your SO expecting them to reciprocate you will have a very long wait. Perhaps in your next life. Not because they are selfish but because they value different things than you. Read this book, it is very popular, https://www.amazon.com/Love-Languages-Secret-that-Lasts/dp/080241270X

u/cyanocobalamin · 4 pointsr/AskMen

"No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr Robert Glover

It is short and well worth your time even if you don't have the issues described and treated in the book.

u/TheDudeSA · 1 pointr/AskMen

Seriously the best book about oral sex ive read. I recommend reading the whole thing http://www.amazon.com/She-Comes-First-Thinking-Pleasuring/dp/0060538260

u/Boomzy · 3 pointsr/AskMen

A bidet. I bought one after someone in a thread exactly like this suggested it, and it's as life-changing as they said it would be. https://www.amazon.com/Luxe-Bidet-Neo-120-Non-Electric/dp/B00A0RHSJO (Don't forget to use Amazon smile if you buy it.....doctors without borders could use the help)

u/A_Crazy_Hooligan · 382 pointsr/AskMen

It’s men who think being nice to a woman is the way into her pants. Typically, they are only nice to people they want something from. That’s why a lot of people view them as manipulative as well. This is usually due to the “nice guy” not wanting to sexualize the women, often in an effort to try to set themselves apart. Problem is, they forget women are sexual too and don’t necessarily disqualify someone for being insinuative. No sexual tension(I’m using the phrase loosely) means no attraction. They don’t realize this and because they were nice and expected sex in return, they lash out.

I think that’s what I’ve gathered over the years of hearing the term.

Edit: https://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy-ebook/dp/B004C438CW

u/subcypher · 1 pointr/AskMen

Honestly, it comes with wisdom. If you're having a hard time just "not getting it", check out The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, by Mark Manson. It helped me.

u/DrewFlan · 6 pointsr/AskMen

Get a bidet attachment instead. It will quickly pay for itself in saved toilet paper and be much more forgiving to your septic tank.

u/asdfman2000 · 1 pointr/AskMen

Try one of these things: Philips Norelco Bodygroom Series 7100

I'm pretty sure the shaver side is engineered specifically for trimming your balls.

u/wtcnbrwndo4u · 1 pointr/AskMen

Check out this book my dude. Mark Manson speaks pretty well to most people, I think.
https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713

u/highstead · 1 pointr/AskMen

I've had success with both a straight razor and the 'old school' Safety razor.

Blades are dirt cheap and you can afford to toss em away after one use. You can get a pack of 50 for about 5 bucks. Witchhazel as an aftershave as well.


u/AsoBit · 6 pointsr/AskMen

If it's a money issue, I might recommend him getting a DE safety razor. I bought one for $20 (at an antique mall), and I get 100 blades for $10.

u/Kuwait_Drive_Yards · 2 pointsr/AskMen

I pimp this book to people pretty often.

Its ostensibly about marriage relationships, but it really improved all the interconnected relationships in my family. Your dad might just not be a talky type. Mine rarely says "I love you" out loud, but he says it often in other ways.

u/SushiJuice · 1 pointr/AskMen

Read No More Mr. Nice Guy

It's a great book showing how you're really not that nice. You've fallen for a shallow Nice Guy syndrome and you're doing more harm than good. I was like this - this book opened my eyes to how shitty I was being...

u/flabcannon · 2 pointsr/AskMen

No More Mr.Nice Guy helped me a lot. Not just for romantic relationships but life in general.
I used to put my needs last while helping friends/family etc and feel a lot of resentment when they didn't drop everything and help me when I needed it. This book showed me that it was my own fault because the other person doesn't know what you're thinking unless you tell them. The other benefit is that it teaches you to not play it safe all the time, which helps people remember you.

u/MrBlack1992 · 1 pointr/AskMen

OP should read, scratch that, OP PLEASE read "No More Mr Nice Guy" http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0762415339?pc_redir=1405667687&robot_redir=1 OP is exactly the type of guy this book was written for

u/kameron018 · 3 pointsr/AskMen

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_5gyyCbHB0HQGD

This is the one I have, can't go back.

u/greath · 6 pointsr/AskMen

Self-Made Man: One Woman's Year Disguised as a Man is near the top of my reading list. It's about a woman who disguises herself as a man for a year and tries to merge into "male" society. The reviews sound promising and I'm really interested in it.

u/Toubabi · 2 pointsr/AskMen

I use a similar model and can't recommend it enough. I like the results of shaving with an actual razor better but it's easier to do with the electric razor and causes me less irritation. I have pretty sensitive skin in general so I always get a bit of razor burn when I shave with a real razor, no matter what part of my body it is.

u/Ostrololo · 1 pointr/AskMen

Both sprinkles and semen are very useful in baking.

u/theSchmoozer · 50 pointsr/AskMen

Actually, no, your sample size is small, and thus, prone to aberration.

Many dudes have less than 10% success rate. I think an attractive, assertive woman should have higher than that, but whatevz. The thing you might not grok yet is that when you're putting yourself out there, you're gonna get shot down. Women typically don't understand how much rejection men get, and how often, and how much we have to overcome it. If you're curious about the dynamic reversal, check this book out:

https://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/dp/0143038702

http://www.salon.com/2006/01/20/vincent_2/

u/megazver · 3 pointsr/AskMen

There's a popular self-help book about it, apparently:

http://smile.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy-ebook/dp/B004C438CW/

EDIT: Hurr durr I'm lightning fast at posting this.

u/lastgirlonmars · 1 pointr/AskMen

I highly recommend the book Feeling Good. It's therapy in book form.

u/misskay44 · 3 pointsr/AskMen

Reviews like these might make you think twice about applying these chemicals to your delicate rosebud.

u/GCanuck · 3 pointsr/AskMen

Not 100%, but I believe it was a quote from the author of Men on Strike (who was quoting one of the men she interviewed for this book).

Check out her AMA, I believe it's in there as well.

u/TomBonner1 · 2 pointsr/AskMen

[A safety razor] (http://www.amazon.com/Merkur-Long-Handled-Safety-Razor/dp/B000NL0T1G/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1395519333&sr=8-1&keywords=merkur+safety+razor). Seriously. You'll get a better shave and the blades are dirt cheap compared to the garbage sold by Gillette and Shick. And they last longer.

u/POGtastic · 1 pointr/AskMen
  1. Shower before shaving. The heat and steam will open up your pores.

  2. Get a DE razor. If you have really sensitive skin, the four blades passing over one spot are going to irritate the shit out of it. A cheap one will run you about 15 bucks, shipping included. If you like it, go buy a nice one.

  3. If you're putting any sort of pressure on your face while shaving, you're doing it wrong. Let the sharpness of the blade cut the hairs for you. If the blade isn't cutting the hair without pressure, it's not sharp enough and you need a new one. The aforementioned DE razor is great for this because new blades are approximately the price of dirt.

  4. Get a shaving lotion that is specifically for sensitive skin. My personal favorite is Proraso's Sensitive Skin cream, but you can find something else. When in doubt, get rid of the fragrances.

  5. Wash your face off afterward. Make sure that all of the lather is gone; soap will dry out your face if you leave it on. This goes double for regular shaving cream.
u/fruitjerky · 1 pointr/AskMen

I installed this one ($25) just recently. Took like 20 minutes.

u/rabidfurby · 73 pointsr/AskMen

$35 on Amazon and it took me like 20 minutes to install.

u/SilverSpoonGoon · 7 pointsr/AskMen

I have a few sources you can look at (mostly from the /r/sex wiki ):

  • Read the top comment on this thread.

  • Read this thread.

  • Read these articles on the subject.

  • Get your hands on this book if you can.

  • Watch this brilliant Sexologist's video
    on the subject.

  • Watch this brilliant Pornstar/Sexologist's "hands on approach" on the subject with this video NSFW


    I hope this gives you the info you need.




u/Aldairion · 41 pointsr/AskMen

Norah Vincent interview for anyone who's curious. Skip to 9:25 if it doesn't do so automatically. The interview was about her experiences while writing "Self Made Man".

u/sniggity · 1 pointr/AskMen

Lol "set it to jet" haha ! I like that. No, but seriously check this out, it's the one I have

u/Alukrad · 1 pointr/AskMen

Read this book:

AMAZON LINK

The techniques used in this book will teach you with coping mechanisms, it will teach you to differentiate between unhealthy and healthy thought processes. It will give you "homework" assignments, things to do when you are feeling down or depressed.

It's an amazing book.

But again, this is me and this is what I do when I reach my emotional breakdown. I spend a good 20 years of my life reading about psychology and philosophy. So, my mind instantly seeks out "understanding" and "knowledge" when I run into a problem. Recently I am also getting into sociology and meditation. The mind is an incredible thing and we only know so little of it.

u/Aozi · 2 pointsr/AskMen

Well I don't know about a week.....But here's a story of a lesbian woman who dressed up and pretended to be a man for a whole year. She also wrote a book about it.

u/st3roids · 5 pointsr/AskMen

no more mr nice guy from Robert A. Glover

https://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339 or get it form torrent .

u/dr_otto_gross · 1 pointr/AskMen

Veet for Men, apply liberally..... Just read the Amazon reviews.....

http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK

u/MyPoopIsHere · 6 pointsr/AskMen

I think Men On Strike tackles a whole lot of issues we see here - especially around divorce, marriage, and custody.

The Author, Dr. Helen Smith, did an AMA a couple months ago that turned me onto the book. Whether or not you agree with everything she says, she provides some compelling facts.

u/tvise · 65 pointsr/AskMen

Here is the one I got, its powered by water pressure and because of that there is no electricity and they last a really long time. Astor Bidet Fresh Water Spray Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Seat Attachment CB-1000 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003TPGPUW/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_rwh8ybK95BNM3

u/Maybeyesmaybeno · 1 pointr/AskMen

I know I'm late to the party, but congratulations. I only ever give two pieces of advice:


  1. There's one good book oriented towards men - Be Prepared

  2. Don't take anyone's advice. For the most part absolutely no one knows what the hell they're doing.
u/Dragon_DLV · 3 pointsr/AskMen

Also, get your hands on this book if you can

u/RedStag00 · 3 pointsr/AskMen

Have you read Self-Made Man? I'm reading through it now, and although I feel there are some feminist biases that the author has trouble seeing past, she does make some interesting insights and comparisons with regards to how the world expects men vs. women to act/think.

u/lorean · 1 pointr/AskMen

Here's a book from a certified therapist.

http://amzn.com/0762415339

u/watuphoss · 2 pointsr/AskMen

I was the same way, this book helped me out a bit.

u/computmaxer · 2 pointsr/AskMen

Check out the book Models by Mark Manson. He discusses this in depth.

u/Greyfeld · 9 pointsr/AskMen

And only makes dishes from this book.

u/marley88 · 2 pointsr/AskMen

> I've thought about using Nair but it says not to use if on genitals.

Dude, read these first!

u/Borlaug · 1 pointr/AskMen

> Electric trimmer

It should be noted that there's trimmers specifically designed for ball shaving.

u/knowsitallandall · 4 pointsr/AskMen

Here's an example There's a nozzle inside that you can adjust back and forth for a higher/lower aim. There are dials on the side that control force and temperature. It's just a stream with a little force. It's very controlled. I've never had or have known of any incidents where it went or sent somewhere or something it shouldn't have.

u/jsimco876 · 1 pointr/AskMen

No but to each his own bro.

I suggest this book if you want to explore even farther...

http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041

u/Forevernevermore · 5 pointsr/AskMen

I use a double edge safety razor like THIS. Most store bought razors can maintain their sharpness for one or two shaves, but this has cheap and changeable blades you buy by the dozens for the same price. It's easy to throw in a new blade and shave away each time. I stress that it is a skill that is learned and you will most likely cut yourself the first few times, but once you get the hang of it, it will outperform any mainstream razors (schick, gillete..etc) you can buy. I get 100 blades for about $24 US and that lasts me all year. I use THESE blades specifically.