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Yeah man. and I think for me what's even more important than sex is learning how to give and receive emotional intimacy and communication. If you can be honest with yourself and others, even if that honesty includes fear and uncertainty, or whether it's confidence or closeness, those things will take you very far in having real interactions with people.

There are some things that I've read and listened to that have helped me to learn more what healthy relationships look like such as this book which is basically meant to be used when trying to mend a broken relationship, but that means it has so many good ideas about communication, and what it takes to make yourself, and by extension your relationships happy.

Basically take care of yourself. Make your life full, doing all the things you need and love to do and other things will flow naturally. be honest with yourself about your feelings too. (Frustration, elation, etc.) because ignoring them will only further disconnect you from yourself. You want to be a whole person and you are right now. There are things that whole you would like to do, yet you are not dependent on them or them on you.

Check out this post by /u/bombjoke about mindfulness meditation.

Check out this thread started by /u/bombjoke /r/theXeffect which has some great motivating tools for your life that may be helpful

This audio program is dope. I have it ripped to my computer and if you want I can send you the files in .rar form.

If you try even one of these things you'll be far ahead of the game.

Hope you have a good life man.

Peace.

I believe what you're experiencing is a well known psychological phenomenon. When people experience trauma, sometimes they repeat it over and over either in an attempt to understand it, "master" it, or whatever else. You can read about it here: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Repetition_compulsion

Once there was a school bus that got buried with children in it (who all survived), and this "repetition compulsion" occurred with them. You can read about it here: http://www.amazon.com/Too-Scared-To-Cry-Childhood/dp/0465086446

I really, really recommend you find a therapist you like and trust and makes it easy for you to talk about it. Having recently gone through an incredible "round" of therapy, I can tell you from personal experience that you honestly don't know what you don't know: you may very well walk out of your initial session (with the right therapist -- feeling comfortable and that the therapist is making a difference is of utmost importance) feeling like the world has opened up. It's one thing to know a bit about psychology; to have a breakthrough in your own life is one of the most transcendent things you can experience. I understand you may not want to go to therapy now, or even soon, but I hope you'll remember this post some day and it will help boost your resolve. Because what you experienced was a major trauma, and that is not okay. I wish you the very best; please take care.

We also got this little wand from Amazon and it’s super awesome for the price. Flexible head, super strong vibe, and is great for her to use on her own as well as when we’re together!

Shibari Mini Halo 20X Multi-Speed...

> my best friends are naked

Is this maybe it?

Some of My Best Friends Are Naked

https://www.amazon.com/Some-Best-Friends-Are-Naked/dp/0963446606

I bought This to use with my gf and it's amazing. It's not to big and heavy like a Hitachi wand but just as good... And it's wireless!! Have fun! haha

As a guy I highly recommend TengaEggs but I've found they're far more fun when used by a partner.

For women, my go-to recommendation is the Hitachi Magic Wand, you just can't go wrong with this thing. I've even supplied these to a number of women, mostly found here on Reddit. I kinda like being the Hitachi Fairy ;)

I lucid dream on a regular and the number one thing that helped me get batter at it was a book called "How to lucid dream in 30 days". http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0312199880/ref=redir_mdp_mobile/175-5554482-8737327?fp=1&pc_redir=1427672094

Since then I've recorded around 65-70 dreams in my journal. Some of then orgasmic.

The Ethical Slut

https://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Slut-Practical-Relationships-Adventures/dp/1587613379&ved=0ahUKEwiuley00ebXAhXCQt8KHVE_BywQ5OUBCGYwDA&usg=AOvVaw0C0biNX9E1HSS_DxjO55e4

Helped me get some perspective on a life altering path I knew I was heading down without the vocabulary to really discuss it properly. It's not the BEST book on ethical non monogamy, but it's a really good starting point...

As a guy one of those sampler packs of Tenga eggs is pretty cool.

You do you. Be honest with your partners, and open with your preferences. Make choices, and surround yourself with people that reinforce the person you want to be.

Otherwise, maybe some suggested reading?

I use a mattress protector and I've noticed that it'll prevent certain stains, but it's not 100% waterproof. Laying down a towel or two didn't help much either.

I recently bought this and it's been a game changer. It's waterproof and easily machine washable!

You may enjoy this and this

Here’s a fantastic book to get any of you all started.


The Ethical Slut https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/0399579664/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_adpVDb095EF66

We use the washable toddler mattress protectors. They hold up to 2 cups of fluid and are less than $20 usd.

Edit: (something like this) https://www.amazon.com/Waterproof-Washable-Underpad-Protector-Incontinence/dp/B00CX6JAUK

Non-mobile: http://www.amazon.com/dp/0312199880/ref=redir_mdp_mobile/175-5554482-8737327?fp=1&pc_redir=1427672094

^That's ^why ^I'm ^here, ^I ^don't ^judge ^you. ^PM ^/u/xl0 ^if ^I'm ^causing ^any ^trouble. ^WUT?

automatic

https://www.amazon.com/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041?sa-no-redirect=1&pldnSite=1
and
https://www.amazon.com/Semenology-Bartenders-Paul-Fotie-Photenhauer/dp/1482605228/ref=pd_bxgy_14_2/141-2066605-4540837?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1482605228&pd_rd_r=818f3c3f-35f7-42e5-b044-cfc8f377a93d&pd_rd_w=3LqW6&pd_rd_wg=Y5LBH&pf_rd_p=09627863-9889-4290-b90a-5e9f86682449&pf_rd_r=RVQDM7EYBKE4Y0HJ44TX&psc=1&refRID=RVQDM7EYBKE4Y0HJ44TX&sa-no-redirect=1&pldnSite=1

https://www.amazon.com/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041

https://www.amazon.com/Mindshift-Obstacles-Learning-Discover-Potential/dp/1101982853

Finish your degree, but don't think that it will define your future, unless you let it.

https://www.amazon.com/Book-Erotic-Fantasy-Gwendolyn-Kestrel/dp/097420451X

Maybe you could find a PDF...

Doubling down on the stupid? Take your fat, ESL-sounding ass to a library and do some research for fuck's sake. In the meantime, here's a book for you to read: https://www.amazon.com/Do-You-Want-Play-Balls/dp/098594871X