Reddit reviews Anger Management For Dummies

Many of us on this sub have been in a situation like yours and we're familiar with the sense of hopelessness that can come from repeatedly failing to control our anger. But you've already done something really important -- you've acknowledged that you're responsible for your anger and you've reached out for help. That's critical. The next step takes a little bit more work.

If you haven't looked into anger management before, here's some general info and advice, as well as links to more in-depth content. If therapy doesn't seem like a reasonable option, an online anger management course or reading a book on the topic could be a good place to start. And the lifestyle stuff can be really important -- enough sleep, regular physical activity, a decent diet, a hobby that relieves stress -- but you'll still want to find a therapeutic approach that works for you.

I personally struggled with anger for years and eventually found therapeutic success with anger journaling and meditation. Both helped me become more aware of my anger and the journaling gave me a fuller understanding of my triggers and enough awareness to more effectively defuse my anger when triggered.

I know you probably think that your anger just comes on too fast for you to apply some sort of technique, and once it has its grips on you anything you try will be worthless. I used to think that too. Fortunately, journaling about the outbursts after the fact actually made me more sensitive to my anger so I could gain that crucial moment to pause before reacting. You may also find a relaxation technique could make you more aware of when the tension is building in certain circumstances or when you're not feeling your best.

It might also be helpful to share what you're doing with your bf and make sure he understands that you're committed to improving, but maybe there are things he could do to help you notice when you're starting to lose it. That can be tricky because when we're getting angry we don't like our partners to tell us that we need to calm down or take a break -- that can feel demeaning -- but talking about an outburst after the fact, once you've calmed down -- even via text or email -- can be a way to hold yourself accountable. I became quite good at heartfelt apologies en route to gaining greater control over my anger habit.

Whatever approach you choose, it's all about patience and consistency. You may not see dramatic changes right away, and some future outbursts are probably inevitable. But when we put in that little bit of time, energy and attention each day, we can develop a new and better way of reacting to our old triggers and avoid developing new ones.

I've been in your situation before. If you're ready to get better, it's entirely doable. I'm wishing you all the best with your process and don't hesitate to ask for more info or clarification.

I am pro-therapy, as I've mentioned here many times. But one of the downsides is we really do have to be advocates for ourselves and keep our therapist on point. If we know we have clear anger management and depression or anxiety issues, we have make sure every visit our therapist addresses these issues and not let the conversation go on a half hour tangent and treat our real issues as a last minute afterthought.

Whether you have clinical depression or not is ultimately up to the therapist’s diagnosis. But it’s still unfortunate they were not able to give you better advice and guidance that could have possibly helped you prevent getting into trouble at work by simply teaching you how to communicate better with your co-workers.

I advise taking charge and changing therapists if they don't help you consistently address your most prominent issues. Just say thanks, this will be my last visit. If that's too confrontational, schedule a new one while you're in the office but as soon as you can schedule a first visit with a new therapist, then call and cancel with your old one and say you are trying someone new. Seriously whatever it takes to get to a new one. They won't be offended.

Here is a way to take matters into your own hands and have more control over your treatment. So a way to keep your treatment, healing and learning on track is to get a notebook or journal, even Google Docs, and start writing what is bothering you and how you might be abel to deal with it better. Here is a method for keeping a thought diary for anxiety specifically, but it works for any strong emotion. Here's another format in case you like more structure (like I do!), this one is a PTSD worksheet. You can cross out PTSD and write anger, depression, whatever the case may be, the approach is very similar. You can print out 20 copies and have them in your desk ready for you and just go through it when you have an anger episode. Or you can use it as a guide and write your own column headers in your notebook/journal to suit your needs. That's actually what I do. I have a minimized version.

Every time you get angry, sit down for five minutes and write out what happened. Then take a few minutes to see if you could do 2 things. 1. find a way to anticipate your anger so you can take action sooner next time. 2. Find a way you can respond better next time. The links above help with exactly this but I thought it worth mentioning the goal of all of this.

Don’t be hard on yourself. Getting mad at yourself when these thigns happen just makes the anger and anguish last longer. I know it’s cliche but treat it as a learning experience. And that’s actually harder than it sounds, which is why you want to conserve your energy when it happens and not waste it raging about it. Sit down and start writing. That’s the discipline. You know yourself better than anyone else. So you are the best person to diagnose what happened, when exactly you got pissed off and what perspective you might have used to work better in the moment.

If you are best as someone’s wingman, stay at that level. But if you desire to be team lead again and to have a team under you, take a classes in management, project management, Six Sigma, team building and team communication. Anything that will help you put a framework on the problem. Here are some books I would suggest.

Difficult Conversations

Anger Management for Dummies

Take Charge of Your Life

The Art of Living

Hope some of this helps!

By understanding your anger.

Your anger's a valid emotion like any other, but the destruction it causes is not. And seriously? Check out the For Dummies book, it'll clear up and address a lot of stuff.

If you're not much of a reader, see a counselor that specializes in anger. It's possible your anger has deep rooted personal issues as well, so you might consider therapist if it's more than lack of discipline and control.