We found 7 Reddit comments about Feeling Unreal: Depersonalization Disorder and the Loss of the Self. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
Some other comments have pointed out this sounds like Depersonalization. I'd also add that if it doesn't go away and sticks around independent of the depression, it could be Depersonalization Disorder
I've had problems with this, so I've looked into it a little. This is a good forum. And this is a good book.
I'm not an expert but from what I understand the term depersonalization refers to both a symptom and a disorder. Many people experience the symptom depersonalization at some time in their life, but for a much smaller percent it happens persistently or constantly and so can constitute a "disorder".
Here's a quote from the book "Feeling Unreal" that might help:
> Everyone feels "unreal" from time to time. It may happen after a traumatic event, while in new or foreign surroundings, or in times of severe stress. ... But this mechanism can go awry and exhibit a darker side, which manifests itself as depersonalization disorder.
I think the "while in new or foreign surroundings" is particularly relevant to your gas station experience.
Again, I'm not a therapist, and if these feelings continue or are discomforting to you, then it might help to talk to a professional.
P.S. Here's another quote from the book that I think is relevant. The "she" refers to Sarah, an anonymous person with depersonalization disorder:
> "Most people have played little games with their minds at one time or another," she says, "like staring in the mirror so long that you no longer recognize your face, or repeating the same word over and over until it no longer sounds familiar--it sounds like something you've never heard before." These momentary impressions of strangeness that normal people can induce in themselves are quite similar to what Sarah feels much of the time, but cannot control, she says.
This sounds like "depersonalization disorder," which is not all that uncommon, really, although you may have a fairly severe case. Talk therapy may help. Have you had a traumatic experience? That kind of thing can cause it. I occasionally have feelings of unreality too, like "am I really here? Why is everything so far away?" I found a book about it on Amazon, although I haven't read it. Good luck.
I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but from what I understand DP/DR is usually caused by an anxiety disorder or depression.
Personally I get it because I have anxiety, and too much THC exacerbates it to such a degree that I get depersonalized.
It sounds like dissociatives don't jive with you because you react negatively to the feeling of dissociation. It's not uncommon, there are plenty of people, who don't get depersonalized from other drugs, who don't do dissociatives for that reason. Some people just don't like it.
There's nothing wrong with you per se, you should just try to work on your anxiety and depression. Try exercising, eating healthy and getting a solid night's rest every day. This book is also pretty helpful too: http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Unreal-Depersonalization-Disorder-Loss/dp/0195385217
As far as nitrous goes, I love it. I get dissociated, but it's not accompanied by the rampant panic that I get when I have too much THC without CBD
Ah Jesus Christ... This hurts to read. This resonates all too well with me. It's scary to practically read your own thoughts and experiences. I'm sorry you're going through this horrible experience.
This was my life a couple years ago, I was, like you, in a high stress environment. Constantly scared that my mind would turn on me. Day in and day out, just waiting for the first symptoms to show up so that I knew it was over, that I was positively insane.
Like you I didn't sleep much, not at all some nights.
Here's what I can recommend:
Here’s a good book about DPDR written by a doctor
I'm in the 11th grade (in my country we have a different system for school years, but I have just 1 year and half of high school ahead) and I've born with that shit too. I have had all the symptoms, in different ages ( rumination at 7 ,
anxiety at 10, panic attacks at 12 and 15, the impression that my life is fake, since I can remember)
School never was a good place to me (but I always liked to study) but I learned how to handle it. Things got rly bad at 8th grade. It's kind silly remembering that now, but I fell in love with a guy and lost what I had left of my identity to the image I made of him. Anyway, I get over it in the 10th grade, when I move to another school, just to have the worse year of my life. I almost killed myself a lot of times and couldn't make any friends (I still don't have any in that school).
But, after all, this year is being great. I feel new and with a lot of possibilites in hands, I start a new course and i'm making some new friends. I'm happy that I could pass through the last year to live what i'm living now.
Anyway, I can't say much to you, because we are in the same boat, but I want you to know that in some point everything just start to slowly get better, and you have to hold on until that point. When I was at your age I though that I would never get better or be happy again, but here I'm. ( Sorry for my bad english, I hope you can understand what I wrote)
PS: When I discovery what was DPD that book helped a lot: http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Unreal-Depersonalization-Disorder-Loss/dp/0195385217 (I found it in PDF, but I can't find the link right now)