Reddit reviews Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship
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Healing Developmental Trauma How Early Trauma Affects Self Regulation Self Image and the Capacity for Relationship
Hey bud, I know you said you're struggling without a support network right now, can you find some low/no cost meetups with people who enjoy doing what you do? There might even be one for emotionally traumatized people (https://www.meetup.com/San-Diego-Emotional-Trauma-and-PTSD/).
Like you said, arguing is a coping skill for you, to cover/deal with whatever particular blend of emotions you might be dealing with in the moment. I also tend to trigger my wife when I'm triggered, and it's been a huge learning curve for both of us to deal with each other and be able to be present enough to not instantly react to each other with our respective dysfunctional coping mechanisms.
I saw you mentioned Body Keeps the Score in the other thread that one's good. There's also CPTSD from Pete Walker. My personal favorite though is Healing Developmental Trauma by Laurence Heller. It seems to be the most systematic, step-by-step explanation I've been able to find of what's necessary for us to heal.
I posted a semi-review/explanation of Laurence Heller's theory of developmental trauma here.
Other poster mentioned
>This place has treasures but you've gotta find them
Totally agree with that. Be patient, read, and engage in discussion like what you're doing, what don't expect any miracles from the sub.
>Unfortunately in the unfair real world no one really cares for damaged obnoxious underdeveloped underprivileged peopleThat is society. I don't know how you haven't learnt this yet, perhaps you are privileged race and gender and otherwise, but this is soemthing that you just need to accept.
A very harsh truth. Perhaps you haven't been able to accept this because you haven't be able to accept and grieve your own losses yet. If you do have DTD, you've had many things taken from you, including childhood innocence. It's a rough place to be, but healing is possible; just very, very slowly. It's a 3 steps forward, 2 steps back situation.
You just reminded me of something else -- I bet her doctor training had mostly trained her to pay attention / make eye contact in an evaluative way? Skipping over a popscience explanation that is probably half-right anyway, evaluative attention is kind of off-putting and can preclude connection (and I assume attunement?). Supposedly there are physical differences in the physiological cues we give when we're paying attention to evaluate something (to understand it or assess it for threat or whatever) than when we are paying attention with open curiosity, and we pick up on stuff like that.
Ok yeah let me put together a book list (that last stuff was from The Charisma Myth)...
HELPFUL BOOKS (sorry for formatting, I'm on mobile)
https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Developmental-Trauma-Self-Regulation-Relationship/dp/1583944893
https://www.amazon.com/Narcissistic-Family-Diagnosis-Treatment/dp/0787908703
https://www.amazon.com/Waking-Tiger-Healing-Peter-Levine/dp/155643233X
This is a good start, but there are more out there.
Sure!
Relational Healing by Pete Walker - pdf here
This article on trauma
Trauma, Attachment and Stress Disorders
Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman. Really the whole book is applicable so I won't cite.
Relational Treatment of Complex Trauma by Christine Courtois (Google for the direct pdf link)
[Healing Developmental Trauma](Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship https://www.amazon.com/dp/1583944893/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_Dm4izb2C0C2Q0) Written for therapists, but it's a fascinating (if emotional) read for treatment ideas.
These are very trauma/PTSD oriented, because that's what I'm dealing with these days.
Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship https://www.amazon.com/dp/1583944893/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_.PL7Ab9XP3FWF
All the choices depends on your personal reading preference
PsychologyToday isn't that great as well, on an in depth level. For me, I've found myself aimlessly surfing through the oversimplified/summaried articles, that only veers on the surface level of things.
Honestly, the pathology spreads across so many different disciplines/schools of thought, that I had to go through many different academic literature to grasp a conceptual understanding; attachment psychology, complex traumatic stress, neuroscience, developmental psychology, developmental trauma, object-relations, intrapsychic ego (impulsiveness/ego management/emotional-pull-push with people), dissociation, as well as marital therapy and sociological Asian American (to understand the cultural barriers/friction with mental health, then I'm looking towards understanding MBT and DBT, as a way to empathize.
I've pretty much have most of the "mainstream" BPD books out there, and I think the Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified does a fairly good job providing a detailed overview of the prognosis of those with BPD. However, I've come across Borderline Personality Disorder: New Reasons for Hope again, and I think it may be more promising after skimming through it. I passed on it when I first forayed into BPD literature, instead opting for simpler books; however, I've come to realize that has only lead to the surface level of things as well.
As for Randi, her book does more oversimplification which is consequently harmful, than the righteousness of doing good it wistfully intends. It also seems that she is using/projecting the book and her participation in the BPD community as a collective coping mechanism for her past. IDK
Your website is great. I feel research/literature wise, we're reaching a point where we have a good amount research/literature on BPD that provides contemporary answers, but it's still fragmented across cross-topics/disciplines. We have top-experts in their own specialization like Otto Von in PTSD that usually have a chapter on BPD in their textbooks, and I reckon there should be more work from everyone into encompassing a collaborative comprehensive text for this highly niche subject of BPD, that entails not just one sole disciplinary focus.
Healing Developmental Trauma by Heller & LaPierre
yeah, reading through Healing Developmental Trauma has given me a lot of insight into my own experience. It actually really scares me to engage with or think about, but if you've had OCD related to paranormal stuff, can you relate to that pervasive feeling of dread? A lot of the times I will feel like theres someone behind me/in my peripheral vision and instead of checking, I will just freeze and it might be hours again before I move. It all has to do with the same kind of paranormal phobias I have, does this sound at all like anything you've dealt with?