Reddit reviews How to Be a Gentleman Revised and Expanded: A Timely Guide to Timeless Manners (The GentleManners Series)

how to be a gentleman, timeless

I was privileged enough to be the first in my family to attend one of the best prep schools in PEnnsylvania.
-check your accent
-think of words that you use. Do you cuss a lot? Are they low brow? Could you replace some words with more advanced words to expand your vocabulary? Expand it by reading books. Try some fun non fiction reads. Freaknomics, and the Tipping Point are two of my favorites.
-are you overweight? Lose weight.
-shave all facial hair.
-who do you hang out with after work or outside of work? If they are kind of trashy, you will need to surround yourself with others. Try joining a local kickball league with other young professionals.
-look around your house/apartment, does it look contemporary? Outdated?

Your surroundings, who you surround yourself with, what you read, how you speak, it all helps create the image you are looking at changing. This doesn't have to happen over night, but focus on looking to change things one at a time, and focus on making fast moves.

First of all, kudos for being considerate and even thinking about this. i agree with what inathrowfarfaraway_ said. Your apology was nice also, even if it doesn't completely redeem you for that person. It's hard to hold yourself back when you have something on the tip of your tongue - especially if that's your sense of humor.

I faced a bit of the same issue and what personally helped me was reading How to Be a Gentleman Revised and Expanded: A Timely Guide to Timeless Manners (The GentleManners Series) & Essential Manners for Men 2nd Edition: What to Do, When to Do It, and Why

(I'm a woman, but why do manners have to be gendered) These books helped me think about why some of my jokes were of bad taste and made me feel more comfortable in public settings, socially. I started to recognize peoples reactions better, even if they were reactions to someone else's faux pas.

I bet you would enjoy this book:

http://www.amazon.com/How-Gentleman-Revised-Updated-Gentlemanners/dp/1401604730#

Ahhhh yes... The ole "Nut on your face" pick up line. I believe that's in chapter three of this book.

Bought this book a few years ago.

https://www.amazon.com/How-Gentleman-Revised-Updated-Gentlemanners/dp/1401604730/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1479770555&sr=1-1&keywords=how+to+be+a+gentleman

Emerson's Self Reliance and On Intelligence (for starters)

Joseph Campbell's Power of Myth

John Bridges' How To Be A Gentleman

If you're going into business: Sun Tzu's The Art of War

Jean Jacque Rousseau's The Social Contract

These are all non-fiction reads that are meant to build character. Most fiction is meant to engender culture in their readers or inspire philosophical reflection. Non-Fiction is typically more instructional.