Reddit reviews Real Service

This is a really great question.

I'm seeing a lot of service type answers in the comments, and for that aspect, I think it depends upon the style of service that you and your dom enjoy. For my Dom, he has a very stressful job and would rather I just "make it so" with a lot of the assignments/tasks he gives me, so he can relax and think about other things. The tasks can be anything from making dinner, doing laundry, buying household items before we run out(tp, medication, lotion, etc.) to things like plan and prepare international trips including things like airfare, hotel, activities. Other people may assist their Dom, by providing them a choice of options and then the Dom would get final say. Of course, as with anything, there are lots of ways to provide service. If you're inclined towards service, I would recommend the book Real Service as it helped me and my Dom have the conversation of what kind of service do we like, what style do I tend to do, what is acceptable for us, the mindset behind certain styles, and gave us ideas on what is realistic for us.

More importantly how do you define soft or subtle dominance? How subtle are you wanting?

/u/fad_gadget89 is dead on, but there's also something really important here - there is no one true way to do this! A training program created by someone else is more than likely going to promote their ways of doing things, which may or may not be yours. Do you want your sub to be chatty or quiet? Bratty or obedient? A skilled cook or do you enjoy being in the kitchen? Should they know how to care for leather or do you not even own a pair of boots?

If you really want help with developing a training program, looking at books like Erotic Slavehood, Real Service or even some of the books by Bob Rubel which outline very specific protocols for a few different types of dynamics.

You could also investigate things like MTTA, which is a weekend intensive designed to explore this stuff. I've never done that program, but know folks who have. It tends to be as much learning about yourself as it is learning how to submit or particular skills.

Found it: http://www.amazon.com/Real-Service-Joshua-Tenpenny/dp/0982879431/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1450749493&sr=8-2&keywords=real+service

You may be more of a service-oriented sub. There are a lot of us! And I'm a service-type Domme, too-- my boy comes and cleans and makes it generally easier for me to get done the things that I need to do. In exchange I give him rules, structure, expectations, and consistency. And I get to use him for my own devious purposes.

If this sounds interesting, I recommend this book on service.

Don't be discouraged, kinksters are as diverse as everyone.

Dominance is 1) comfort with yourself, 2) ability to set realistic expectations, and 3) willingness give honest feedback.

It's important, whether you're new or a veteran, to stick to the things you actually care about when setting expectations, because you'll have the expertise/perception, and your heart will be in it when you give feedback.

For example, your sub might have two duties: making coffee and hanging up your pants. If you are serious about your standards for how those get done, and you are genuinely rewarded when they're done well, and can teach her how to do them, giving feedback and praise, and if you won't let it go when it's forgotten.. that's dominance.

Exercise of dominance doesn't have to be around kink or sexuality -- it just has to be about something that truly matters to you, so that they can see you're actually happier when they do it (correctly).

Read the book "Real Service" for more.