Reddit reviews The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings on Authenticity, Connection and Courage
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The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings on Authenticity, Connection, & Courage
I had this problem a while back, and still kind of do especially when I get stressed out. Stress is a devious and hard to understand influence.
Anyway, I went 5 years without crying once and towards the end of that period I began to realize I hadn't cried in a long long time. I set out to try and make myself cry--watching crying challenges on youtube (I was unfazed), watching sad movies, etc--and it was a lot harder to get there than I expected.
In the end it became a matter of practice. And finally after a particularly stressful week I was able to cry and it was a huge relief, even though I only really shed one tear and made a really strange face for like a minute.
My point is, emotions take practice. To open yourself up emotionally is a lot like opening up stiff limbs with stretching.
One of the best tools for practice was meditating. Checking in with your body to see how it is really feeling, most of the time we are so in our head that we are not in touch with how we actually feel physically.
And in learning how to cry I added a whole new level of depth to my life and to my relationships, and I've been a lot better at expressing joy and happiness as well. Though sometimes stress gets to me and I shut down as a defense mechanism--that's just the way I operate.
There isn't anything necessarily wrong with it, but if it goes on too long and I shut out too many of the emotions I'm supposed to be feeling it creates problems.
So practice!
This is a great book to start off with: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Vulnerability-Teachings-Authenticity-Connection/dp/1604078588
i'm sorry you're going through a hard time. the hospital is frightening and being put in isolation is (in my opinion) the wrong thing to do to anyone who is struggling. i hope my post can be helpful to you.
i’m 28 and have struggled my whole life with what i now know is bpd and ptsd from prolonged trauma as a kid. i remember the anger, sadness and fear i used to feel growing up. I’m still learning how to deal but I only started real work on myself 2 years ago. i can only speak from my own experiences, but i feel like it's a good thing that you learned this about yourself now.
you'll start to learn ways to deal with triggers and recognizing patterns which will pay off so much as you get older. like say before you get in to college, or when you're in your early 20s trying to figure out job/career. those are going to be stressful times in your life and understanding your bpd will make those times much easier. stay in therapy, it might take a while to find someone you feel comfortable with. if you’re not comfortable with your therapist, you have the power to get a new one. it’s always going to be a lot of work, and only you can do it.
you mentioned violent voices and imagery, be kind to yourself. those thoughts will come up but they don’t need to be acknowledged as truth. those thoughts aren’t you. i consider myself a bubbly optimistic person, but things will get very dark in my mind. especially if i’m depressed or triggered. i used to run a lot of torture scenarios for myself and other people. talk therapy will teach you how to deconstruct those thoughts, let them go, or discover what’s causing them.
these are things that have helped me:
Power of Vulnerability, Brene Brown (https://www.amazon.com/Power-Vulnerability-Teachings-Authenticity-Connection/dp/1604078588) this gave me so many ways to understand the way that emotions works.
routine: SLEEP, eat healthy and regularly, exercise. try to stay away from weed, alcohol, drugs. those things are 100% triggers for anxiety and other bad feels when you have bpd.
keep a journal. i keep a calendar where i mark my emotions, state what is giving me anxiety, what I’ve eaten, if i’ve had alcohol or drugs, who i’m physically involved with. it gives you a clear picture of cause/effect, or what patterns you might be playing out.
learning to meditate and understanding mindfulness, Tara Brach’s podcasts have been helpful for me, https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/tara-brach/id265264862?mt=2
Find the things that give you joy. go out for a walk. make something with your hands: paint, do pottery, volunteer. i’m an introvert so i need some time alone to recharge but this gets tricky because i’ll hermit hardcore and continue the spiral. everything is about balance. and balance takes a lot of practice and awareness.
be patient, kind and gentle with yourself. i used to self harm in a myriad of ways. if you do this too, you’ll need to find ways to replace those habits. there’s a saying “neurons that fire together wire together” which is kinda like- the more you exercise the part of your brain that puts you in “fight or flight” mode, anxiety, fear, pain….the faster and easier that part of your brain is going to be activated. so be kind and gentle with yourself. it’s taken me a long time to let go of different ways of self harm. therapy and some medication were the most help there.
I don't know that I'm navigating life all that well, but some little things have helped and why not share with the class? I think I have underlying mental health issues (depression, anxiety) worsened by trauma (rape, attempted rape which morphed into PTSD, I think) and a narcissistic dad.
Here are a few helpful ones:
Sexual healing, literally https://www.amazon.com/Sexual-Healing-Journey-Guide-Survivors/dp/0062130730
https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Sex-Mind-Body-Approach-Sexual/dp/1573442933/
PTSD and trauma: https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748/
Shitty men: https://www.amazon.com/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656/
Shitty parents: https://www.amazon.com/Toxic-Parents-Overcoming-Hurtful-Reclaiming/dp/0553381407/r
https://www.amazon.com/Gifts-Imperfection-Think-Supposed-Embrace/dp/159285849X/
A Buddhist reminder that to live is to suffer: https://www.amazon.com/When-Things-Fall-Apart-Anniversary/dp/1611803438
Brene Brown, duh: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Vulnerability-Teachings-Authenticity-Connection/dp/1604078588
(All the eating disorder books I read have been useless, and I am probably depressed and I'm certainly anxious but the literature on that never quite fits.)
Okay, that's prob good, right?