Reddit reviews The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It

Today is my mid-year review with my new boss. For those keeping count, she’s the third this year. I am feeling very defeated and trying to not let that color my talks with her. We had a bad call a couple weeks ago and I need to apologize for it because I feel I behaved unprofessionally. I can point out why things are tough, why I’m stressed, etc. but I’m tired of the story. I want to just do the work and stop the drama. I don’t think it’s possible though.

I’m reading the book The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women because (like many) I suffer heavily from imposter syndrome. I can come up with all the reasons why I’m where I’m at and all my shortcomings and rarely do I feel I’ve earned anything. It’s really tough. I know that I’m not alone, intellectually I know I’m smart and provide value, but it’s tough to shake.

I am looking forward to the weekend and resting and then next week is a short week. The trip to LA for a wedding is finally upon us and I’m not prepared. My dress will be picked up on the 20th so hopefully that will help me feel better about it. I need to decide on what shoes to wear. Comfort and good looking, or not as comfortable but fits the dress better. I’m leaning on comfort ;)

Have you read the book The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women by Valerie Young,(ed.D)? It introduced me to the topic of imposter syndrome. Here it is on amazon. Don't be fooled by the title; it focuses on first-world,women-specific issues, but its gender neutral in its discussion of what you just described. Namely, why people feel they do not deserve what they currently have; the fear that one day they'll be "found out" for the frauds they are. I don't personally suffer from this, but I've had the typical low self-esteem that comes with depression and it skews my world-view. That I'm not in control of what happens, and anything good that comes out of it will not last for long. I would read up on everything about this and try to look into little CBT habits that might make you see things objectively and tweak this self-image.