Reddit reviews What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful
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You can take this answer all kind of ways, but I would recommend that you start with a classic. How to Win Friends and Influence People is probably the original self improvement book:
https://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People-ebook/dp/B07XRXR5PC
From there, I would suggest focusing on areas of personal weakness. If you aren’t sure where to focus, read What Got You Here Won’t Get You There:
https://www.amazon.com/What-Got-Here-Wont-There-ebook/dp/B000Q9J128
Third, focus on how to think aka “mental models”. In product, you will never be the “smartest” person in the room. Reasoning by analogy, asking the right questions, and discerning the map from the territory are all useful skills.
Here is my favorite blog which has tons of resources on mental models:
https://fs.blog/
All three of these have been turning points in my Product Management career. Good luck!
Now that he's in his 40s I'd recommend doing some introspection and possibly re-branding of his resume and image. He's in his PRIME money earning years and needs to capitalize on his experience.
In the absence of an amazing mentor this book helped me understand what was required to make the jump to Director and Senior Director. https://www.amazon.com/What-Got-Here-Wont-There-ebook/dp/B000Q9J128
Ah yeah. I learned this lesson the hard way. I'm an owner in my family's business. Grew up doing it, and I'm really good at it but it also made me insufferable at times. Because of it I lost my wife, almost lost my family and my share of the business.
It took me losing or almost losing everything I held dearly to realize I needed to change, not the world around me. And I resolved to fix myself, my anger, my anxiety, my stress tolerance, and how I treated the people around me. Now I'm back at it and better than ever at work. I definitely still fuck up on occasion, but in 10 years going from a volcano people were afraid to tell anything (including my mom and brother!) to the voice of reason when shit goes south is impressive and I'm proud of it. I still have a lot of work to do in my personal life, but I work at it every day.
And a suggestion to anyone else in my spot, the book What Got You Here Won't get You There is an invaluable jumping off point. Because it's true. Just because being an asshole worked to this point doesn't mean that's why you succeeded.
Social education is essentially all you need to increase your EQ. Funny that INTJ's are so intelligent that we can still miss the most basic of social cue that even average children pic up quickly. I assume this is because we don't simply follow what everyone else is doing and we need to understand the importance of those social cues. The two books below are very good at not only explaining the problems, but also presents solutions. As with anything, unless the desire is there, nothing will come of just reading the book, one must want it to actually be helpful.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000Q9J128?pc_redir=1407274012&robot_redir=1
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0671027034?pc_redir=1407450092&robot_redir=1
there is no single pager saying this. it's a conclusion after extensive research on "what the fuck are we doing wrong, and what are they doing right." you're asking for an entire volume of textbooks.
for example, this is the general sentiment of virtually everyone who has ever coded in google's engineering: http://goodmath.scientopia.org//2011/07/06/things-everyone-should-do-code-review/
for the personal interaction side, look at the research from successful executive coaches:
joel spolsky, the stackoverflow cofounder, and THE GUY WHO WROTE THE BOOK ON REMOTE WORK says this as his #1 reason on why it doesn't work for many people:
> There’s a tendency to think that working from home is all sunshine and rainbows and working in your PJs. It’s not. You miss out on being around people (which wears even on introverts), doing fun stuff like playing ping-pong or having lunch together, and (sometimes hardest of all) you lose a clear distinction between work and the rest of your life. Some people thrive when working from home, while others wither or just… drift. We’ve had people move both ways: remote people deciding to come in to the office, and people in the office deciding to go remote. The key, for us, is offering both and helping people decide which is best for them.
the lack of personal interaction is so bad that joel spolsky actually cites the oatmeal as a source on it: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/working_home
even as most programmers are introverts, you still need oxytocin that you can only get from social interactions with other human beings. and you do not get that from email/chat/texting. you get it from human touch, acts of kindness, and many other things you can only do when someone is within a few feet of you.
this is not to say that remote never works for anyone. it's simply saying, if your company embraces social interactions, we as biologically social animals perform better than the counterparts who do not.