Reddit reviews A Framework for Understanding Poverty; A Cognitive Approach (Out of Print)

This is part of the cycle of poverty: The poor make terrible decisions with money. This is why you don't give them money, you give them THINGS. Instead of giving her $100k she should have been taken on a shopping trip for clothes. The trust for her kids should have been set up for her.

But even that isn't foolproof: My mom is a school nurse for an elementary school district a poor neighborhood. One of her students a few years ago was diabetic. He had to get his insulin from her as the nurse's office is the only place it's allowed to be kept (along with the needles and such).

His family didn't have a refrigerator. Through the week he'd be fine but every monday he'd come to school looking like he had been through a warzone. It's amazing he wasn't worse. A bunch of the teachers got together, pitched in, and bought them a fridge for their son.

The family sold it and used the money to go to Disneyland. Their reasoning: We've gotten along fine for years without a fridge, but we might never have another chance to go to Disneyland. They thought they were treating their kid to something special.

Understanding Poverty is a pretty valuable resource for understanding this kind of mentality. Simple empathy and a willingness and desire to help isn't enough. As arrogant as it sounds, you have to help these people from themselves as much as anything.

Edit: Thanks for the gold kind stranger

That might just be Amazon's weird gobbledy gook URLs (I got a ref one when I searched normally) or have to do with Smile, but here's a regular link just in case: https://www.amazon.com/Framework-Understanding-Poverty-Cognitive-Approach/dp/1938248015

If you haven't read this book
you should get your hands on it immediately.

And try to keep in mind that just because this didn't go the way you imagined would be best for you doesn't mean that you aren't in just the right place at the right time for someone else. You never know who's life you might be changing.

Treat them with respect and keep your expectations of them high. They may be little but they can still contribute much.

I enjoyed my time at the elementary level and you likely will too!

May I suggest reading Teaching to Transgress: Education as the Practice of Freedom by bell hooks or A Framework for Understanding Poverty; A Cognitive Approach by Ruby K. Payne

I also suggest that you check your privilege at the door when you walk into school

There's a really great book by Ruby Payne called A Framework for Understanding Poverty. She talks about how financial wealth isn't the only thing that separates the wealthy, middle class and poor. There are sets of unwritten rules for each social class that make it hard for people to move upward.

As far as the emergency fund and saving for your child's future, can you guys take on any extra work? Babysitting for a neighbor? Selling stuff on e-bay? Anything to find a little extra cash to throw in the bank. And emergency fund can be a valuable tool to help your family in case of a bad situation.

I have a couple of books to recommend: Crossing the Tracks for Love: What to Do When You and Your Partner Grew Up in Different Worlds, Unequal Childhoods: Class, Race, and Family Life. Also maybe Lillian Rubin's Families on the Fault Line and Worlds Of Pain.

Sociology won't fix your problems, but it definitely helps if you can understand where each of you are coming from. I would recommend you both read those and maybe some other similar books. Not everybody is a huge Ruby Payne fan, but she does a good job at just bluntly discussing why people raised in lower-class environments behave the way they do which is a really helpful thing to understand when you are trying to forge a meaningful relationship with somebody whose family are drunks and your parents were accountants.

I haven't read it, but my guide teacher recommends this one: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1938248015/ref=cm_sw_r_other_awd_JuA-wbRW6528Z. Very useful for understanding a culture of poverty (if that applies to your students).