Reddit reviews I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One

Wow. That's a tough thing to process - both the sudden nature of her death and the unresolved problems in your friendship.

I would recommend this book (http://www.amazon.com/Wasnt-Ready-Say-Goodbye-Surviving/dp/1402212216) to anyone struggling in the aftermath of a sudden death. Despite the cheesy title, it is super helpful. It addresses a lot of the issues surrounding unsaid things and unresolved matters (which are common when someone passes away very suddenly).

Hugs to you.

I’m sorry for your tragic loss. I also lost a parent suddenly five years ago. It’s a different kind of pain than losing a loved one after a long illness. The shock often makes it harder to make sense of, and there is less ability to feel a sense of closure because we aren’t prepared to part ways. The book I Wan’t Ready to Say Goodbye helped me a lot in that respect. It’s important to use every moment we are blessed with to love and care for one another.

I sometimes tear up, or cry during mass when the readings touch on something close to my heart, or to something I think my mother would have loved hearing, or practicing. It is nothing to feel shame about. On the contrary, your emotional reaction is a display of your intense understanding and connection to the messages of our faith. Remember that we all have two fathers, our birth father, and our spiritual father. Return to Church knowing that your birth father would want you to be comforted by the spiritual father through our church (he brought you there while he was with you). Pray, speak with a priest, and read the Bible, you are stronger than you think.

I liked this book for sudden/unexpected death - in our case, a loved one in a motorcycle accident. The main points are summarized and easily digestible which is helpful because it's hard to focus when one is grieving

These books helped when my mother passed unexpectedly:

I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye
When Things Fall Apart
No Mud, No Lotus

Sorry to have misunderstood you. My 4 year old has been getting up at the butt-crack of dawn for the last few days, and since I'm always running on an energy deficit because of my MS, now my reading comprehension has taken a bit of a hit. He's back in school today, so he should be pretty worn out, and I'll get some freaking sleep.

On Death and Dying is the number one resource that I recommend. If books on grief had a gold standard, this would be it.

Healing After Loss is another good one that I often recommended.

I wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye is one I wish I'd had during my brief time doing grief counseling, because almost all of my patients lost someone suddenly and tragically.

How to Go on Living When Someone You Love Dies is another old one that's still relevant)

Getting to the Other Side of Grief is one that is specific to losing a spouse.

I personally used The Grief Recovery Handbook and I recommend it so often I should really put it on business cards, but your friend might do better with the workbook that goes with I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye.

A Grief Workbook for Skeptics is brand new and I haven't had a chance to flip though it at the library, but it's nice to see a book address the grieving process for atheists/agnostics. Not that the other books I recommended are religious-y, but atheists (like my husband) do have different grief needs than theists, and it's good to see those getting addressed.

Incidentally, I'm not a social worker anymore. I quit this morning. Not my job, I quit my career. I have MS, and it has finally come to the point that I can't work in any capacity, whether as a social worker or a dog walker or one of those people who dress up in banana suits and stand on busy streets spinning signs to get you to go buy a cellphone or something. I'll be applying for disability tomorrow. So henceforth, take my opinions as that of a former social worker.

Please give my condolences to your friend. They say that losing a child is the worst kind of grief imaginable. And it was (and sometimes is) pretty fucking horrible. But despite going through that, and two traumatic pregnancy losses, the thought of losing a spouse is terrifying to me. I can't wrap my brain around how I could function after that, and I'm saddened to hear that your friend has to live that nightmare. I hope one or more of these books is helpful. The only thing I think I can contribute is something someone once told me after my son died, when I was drowning in grief and wanted to know when it would go away. It never goes away, but one day you wake up and find that you don't mind carrying it with you anymore. It becomes a part of who you are. If you think that your friend would be helped by hearing that, pass it along, but if not just tell them that I'm sorry for their loss.

I'm glad to hear that you already have someone you're comfortable with. If I could, I'd like to suggest the following books that have helped me a lot in understanding the unique grief for very young widows:

https://smile.amazon.com/When-Things-Happen-Good-People/dp/1400034728/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

https://smile.amazon.com/Im-Grieving-Fast-Can-Widowers/dp/0882820958/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

https://smile.amazon.com/Wasnt-Ready-Say-Goodbye-Surviving/dp/1402212216/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

That's horrible, and I'm so sorry you and your family are dealing with this right now. I hope you can reach a new normal that you can live with sooner rather than later. I read this book over and over again when my brother died of an overdose. Super corny title, but they describe all kinds of amazing coping skills and it helped me process I was feeling. I felt like I was going crazy in the months after the funeral, and the text made me feel normal.

A book on loss - it's something she might not read right away, but it's something (I found at least) super helpful, and would be hard to buy yourself. I recommend this book