Reddit reviews Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger's Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

Some books that I have come across:

• Strategies for Building Successful Relationships with People on the Autism Spectrum: Let's Relate! - Brian King - The second half of this book had some incredibly useful advice about working around my communication difficulties, he discusses communication difficulties from book an adult and child point of view. (As well as being autistic himself, King has autistic sons).
  
• The Other Half of Asperger Syndrome: A Guide to Living in an Intimate Relationship with a Partner who is on the Autism Spectrum - Maxine Ashton
  
• The Asperger Couple's Workbook: Practical Advice and Activities for Couples and Counsellors - Maxine Ashton - These books kind of go together as a set but it's not necessary (if for example, workbooks are not your kind of thing). Ashton has worked as a counsellor for couples - where one or both are on the autistic spectrum - for about ten years.
  
• Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger's Syndrome - Eva Mendes - Another relationship counsellor for ASD relationships.
  
• Love, Partnership or Singleton on the Autism Spectrum - Luke Beardon and Dean Worton - Not so much advice on relationships, but rather a collection of autistic people discussing how they experience relationships of all kinds.
  
  I can't really recommend one over any of the others (perhaps other posters can add their recommendations) as there were parts in all of them I found helpful, and other parts I found less helpful. Most of them are available on Kindle so you can have a look at the free samples to get an idea if any of them suit you.

It's commonly misdiagnosed and a diagnosis ultimately doesn't really matter anyway, since there isn't specific treatment options. I was diagnosed as having ADHD early in life for example (Asperger's wasn't really a thing back then).

I'd still encourage you to do some reading if you suspect it at all. This book could be a good start, it specifically talks about diagnosis https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1849059993/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

The fact that you are seeing a therapist at all is a good start, but you may also want to consider finding one who deals with autism spectrum (AS) disorders specifically, as they might be able to recognize it better and provide better advice on what to do about it.

I am an Aspie male and have been with my wife for 29 years now. I think what has saved us is that she is a very direct person. She probably walked on eggshells for awhile too. She is the one who saw I had AS and tried to bring it up for years. When I discovered I was on the Spectrum, we began to have long discussions. This saved our marriage.

You absolutely must tell him how you feel and what you want out of your relationship. It is better to risk his feeling criticised than driving yourself into the ground. Write him a letter if you have to. Tell him exactly what you have told us here. You really have nothing to loose. Also, seeking therapy for yourself will help you cope.

Get him to seek a diagnosis. It will point the way to cope. In the meantime, there are several books on Aspie/NT relationships on Amazon. Here: https://www.amazon.ca/Marriage-Relationships-Aspergers-Syndrome-Spectrum/dp/1849059993 Be sure to scroll down to see the many other books available on the subject.

Best of luck!