Reddit reviews Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love

We found 8 Reddit comments about Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love --The Love Connection to Codependence

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8 Reddit comments about Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love:

u/not-moses · 7 pointsr/Codependency

Don't have a "story" (like this) to tell, but do know The Way Out (after 26 years in CoDA):

CoDA's Patterns & Characteristics;
The Five Stages of Recovery to see were one is in them;
Sternberg's nine types of love;
This article on an existential out-of-the-box view of romantic love;
CoDA meetings;
This article further quoting a young Krishnamurti on being alone vs. being lonely;
The 10 StEPs of Emotion Processing so that one is able to continue to see what is going on and know what to do about it;
Alanis Morissette's "Jagged Little Pill" CD or MP3, listening carefully while reading the lyrics;
Pia Mellody's Facing Love Addiction, especially with respect to the flip flop from addiction to avoidance;
Anne Wilson Schaef's Escape from Intimacy on the same topic;
Barry & Jane Weinhold's Flight from Intimacy on the same topic;
DBT's "FAST" boundary-setting skills group.

To which I will add this article because most of the codependents I have know who went through situations similar to what you have described came from families that operate like small cults.

u/j3ss1b0wtF · 4 pointsr/slaa

Hi there, I feel you completely. There is someone I dated in my past that when we broke up, it was truly amicable. I was in the process of getting sober and I was so toxic that I had to end things, even though he was willing to stickit out. We have absolutely unconditional love for each other and from time to time, text each other. None of it is romantic, but he is someone I feel the safest I ever have in my life, and I think that speaks volumes as to how healthy (even though I was unhealthy) it was. I don't know if he's my soulmate. But I know we are riding parallel lives down the universe at this moment in time. Maybe we'll cross paths again, who knows, but I absolutely adore and respect him. He will forever have a special place in my heart, even if he marries someone else. (And it's come to light over time that I don't think we would have worked out had we continued dating)

Remember, love is freedom. Love is the ability to let people go to let them grow themselves. The tighter one grasps at something, the more likely both things will end up hurting. The fact that he is able to recognize what you need (even if you can't recognize it yourself) and give you time to heal is one of the most loving actions anyone can take. Even if you do not get back together (and who the HELL knows what happens), just take it one day at a time and really work on yourself NOT because you think if you do you will get back together with him, but because you legitimately want to work on it for yourself.

If you do this for him, you will create a disaster that will take you years to recover from... trust me, I made that mistake.

I really recommend getting this book to start out (link below). I have a lot of the same issues (never being single, always in a relationship, etc). The first 20 pages was life changing for me.

I WISH I had someone at 21 tell me this was what was going on. You will discover so much of your own self over the next few months/years/lifetime. Really, congratulations. It might be painful, but pain just means you have the opportunity to get stronger.

This is probably the most useful and meaningful thing that I can say about this recovery process: if you just let the universe unfold in front of you, you will discover yourself in the most beautiful journey, and you'll find the most incredible people, hear the most emotional stories, and uncover a life that most people don't get the opportunity to.

Best of luck, don't fear the unknown, embrace it with all of your heart.

https://www.amazon.com/Facing-Love-Addiction-Giving-Yourself/dp/0062506048/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1535596447&sr=8-1&keywords=facing+love+addiction+by+pia+melody

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u/slaughtxor · 3 pointsr/AskWomen

Guy here. I am the exact same way with girls. There is a great book that talks about both aspects of this dynamic, being those like us, and those we frequently end up with due to pathology. The book is called Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody. She covers both halves of the story, namely, "love addicts" and "love avoidants." I have other issues that have kept me from reading the whole thing yet, but it seems to hit the nail on the head. Food for thought!

u/tynenn · 2 pointsr/NoFap

u/sweetpotatocinnamon · 1 pointr/slaa

Hi misskriish. I've just seen your post. I hope you are doing better. I just recently found out about love addiction, which I also am (I've used relationships my whole life to escape from reality). I found this website today and I appreciated reading the different types of love addicts: http://www.loveaddicts.org/kindsofloveaddicts.html

Also, I highly recommend you read this book: https://www.amazon.com/Facing-Love-Addiction-Giving-Yourself/dp/0062506048/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1506147116&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=facing+love+addiction+by+pia+mellody
It has been amazingly helpful for me to start putting my life together. There is a section regarding how to "put your relationship on hold." I strongly suggest you look into this, it might be the best option for you and your relationship. I am in a relationship with another love addict and we have had to put our relationship on hold and focus on individual healings.

Good luck and take care. Better, calmer times are ahead.

u/TransformU1 · 1 pointr/LifeProTips

[Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way you Love] (http://www.amazon.com/Facing-Love-Addiction-Giving-Yourself/dp/0062506048) provides a very good foundation.

u/monochillz · 1 pointr/dating_advice

Here are tools. First, it's important to know that full/viable relationships have 5 stages and you're not getting past the first stage of infatuation. Read link 1.

Then, it's clear this is a pattern of a person who is Avoidance Codependent in relationship addiction. Read link 2.

Now, that you've learned how a full relationship grows and your pattern in avoidance in relationships; you must get to the root of your codependency and emotional unavailablity. Read link 3.

When you do all of your work, since you're starting earlier than me (congratulations). Enjoy the rest of your twenties and meet someone who shares your values with love, care, trust and respect. Link 4.

1: http://www.agape-aid.org/saveamarriage/relationshipstages.php

2:
Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062506048/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_CFgACbSJFQEPJ

3.
Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062505890/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_-FgACb1R6VGVR

4.
https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/build-trust/

Link for values:
https://scottjeffrey.com/personal-core-values/

u/langrisser · 1 pointr/sex

You should also be careful with co-dependence and love addiction. Give this book a try and make sure you have some good sex positive friends that will tell you if a guy is manipulating you.