Reddit reviews Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder

I can't tell you what you should have done, because I am doing no-contact now from my end, just waiting on her to make the first move. Because she will. If you're relationship was anything like mine, she will miss the stability you offered and come back, only to break your heart again and again. And only you can decide what's best for you. There are really two (two and a half choices).

You can do no-contact - either just stop communicating or tell her that you no longer want to communicate. Doing the second will probably make her try even harder to get you back. Or you can decide to ride it out. I guess that depends on what you want for your life and how much you love her.

I'm reading Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder now and holy crap, it's amazing. In the first few pages, it's mentioned that new long-term studies are coming in, finally. They show that in 75% of cases, sufferers of BPD con simply stop showing symptoms over a period of 6 to 15 years. Treatment methods are better as well, and they can significantly shorten that time. Things aren't hopeless.

I can't tell you what to do, only that all decisions suck and your ex probably isn't done with you and will be trying to pull you back. I don't know your age or financial status or anything else, but talk to her about starting therapy and some medications. Nothing removes the problems, but the medications can alleviate some of the symptoms. I'm sorry you are going through this, but I'm here as much as an internet friend can be.

Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder by Rachel Reiland is an autobiography that actually shows effective treatment that truly addressed feelings of abandonment and inadequacy. (It didn't claim that the solution is DBT and better coping skills -- it actually went through treatment of the terror and panic that makes it so hard to keep living.)

She went from being unable to control her deeply destructive behavior to being cured (that's the word she uses) of BPD. It was a hard read because it's so intense, but it was absolutely worth it. It was an honest self-assessment that was understanding, supportive, and full of hope.

Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder by Rachel Reiland is a book I recommend to people with BPD and their loved ones to get a sense of what it can feel like to live with BPD and to struggle to get stronger and healthier.

I'm sorry that this is happening to you. It can be a frightening diagnosis, and I admire you for how you are accepting it and learning about it.

One thing I've learned is that the disorder is not caused by anything you do or have done. You may not feel love for yourself, but that is a symptom of the disorder, not the cause.

The "cause", as far as I can tell, is that the emotional center of the brain is over-developed while the rational part of the brain that regulates these emotions is under-developed. These are structural differences that can be observed using MRI. So your emotions literally run away faster than you can process them. It's not that you never learned how to love yourself enough.

You might appreciate the book Get Me Out of Here, which tells the story of one woman's diagnosis, treatment, and recovery: https://www.amazon.com/Get-Out-Here-Borderline-Personality/dp/1592850995

Get Me Out of Here by Rachel Reiland is an excellent first person account of suffering and then recovering from Borderline Personality Disorder.

I haven't read it in years, but I remember loving Crazy All the Time. Originally printed in 1994, it's a recount of a Bellevue doctor's experience.

I don't have it, but I have gone been with a few girls that do. It's not easy, it's one of the hardest disorders to treat, but a lot of advancements have been made (as noted below by drummer9.)

If you want to read someone's story that can help you understand that there is hope, I suggest this: Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder

It's a lot of work but you can make this better. You've overcome one of the biggest obstacles people with BPD have: You've accepted the diagnosis. You really don't need to kill yourself. You can make it better.

I'll add this: Of the girls who I was with that had this and did the most damage to me, -I do not hate her. In fact I still love her and think of her all the time. She's still the same, doesn't believe she has it. But for as messed up as the things are she did, I've never thought of her as a bad person. She isn't. And I don't hate or dislike any of them.

Though somewhat outdated, this a good read for general information.


But I would say this a better read, with more accurate stories and depictions of having a spouse with BPD "Get me out of Here"

And I have BPD, I've had some pretty messed up relationships in my past but have finally come to a place where I believe I could have a relationship now with out the theatrics and melt downs and suicide threats, and hate turning to love and vice versa, all in eleven seconds flat and all that other fun stuff that people with BPD do to manipulate their partners before they realize it is not normal and that it is not acceptable and it is not the only way nor the right way to get attention and love.