Reddit reviews Healing The Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families

Oh my, you are both in a tough situation. If it's not too forward, I would like to buy you a book and ship it to you. Would you consider reading it?

The book is: Healing The Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families.

I have read this book myself, and it was a turning point in my life. I feel like a lot of the advice within it applies to your situation.

Please PM me if you are interested.

So your inner child is your wounded inner self. It became wounded in childhood. The part of you that feels insecure, shameful, like there is something wrong with you and everyone will find out, unlovable, etc. The basic idea behind inner child work is that you learn to have compassion and understanding for your inner child (self) and what he/she has been through, and you learn to act as your own "loving parent". The goal is to replace the old programming or "critical parent" inner voice with a "loving parent" inner voice and to talk to and treat your inner child (your self) with love and care and compassion, both by your inner self-talk and the actions you take on their (your) behalf - boundaries, self-care etc.

In addiction to Whitfield's book

(http://www.amazon.com/Healing-The-Child-Within-Dysfunctional/dp/0932194400/ref=pd_sim_14_3?ie=UTF8&dpID=51M-jqFC1vL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR103%2C160_&refRID=1R0YEATS89PW6Q6681BP)

that I mentioned in my first post, there is also this excellent book:

http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Your-Aloneness-Finding-Wholeness/dp/0062501496

Sure. This book gave me a better grip on the mechanics of my response to intimacy:

https://www.amazon.com/Hes-Scared-Shes-Understanding-Relationships/dp/0440506255

and this book gave me an overview of its forces:

https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Child-Within-Discovery-Dysfunctional/dp/0932194400

I hope this helps :-)

I'm an ExMo, which isn't really related to what I'm about to say, but learning to love my inner child as if I was exactly the parent I want and need, really helped me. It's similar to being your own best friend. I think growing up in a cult keeps us from growing into autonomous adults. While JW sounds like it's even worse than Mormonism, in fact I'm sure it is, Mormons are infantalized and kept in a childlike state where questioning and thinking for yourself is bad. You need the church to take care of you. Without it you would be nothing. That sort of thing.

Imagine how you would raise your own child and then be that best parent to the child inside you. We all have an inner child, even the most well adjusted adults still have a part of them that is afraid and vulnerable. They just haven't been brainwashed into thinking that inner child has no value, doesn't deserve love or respect, and doesn't deserve what she needs.

You are the best person to know and provide the love and comfort your inner child needs. Maybe that means not talking to your mom for awhile (not really sure how the whole shunning thing works so sorry if that's inappropriate).

I actually found the book Recovery of Your Inner Child: The Highly Acclaimed Method for Liberating Your Inner Self really helpful.

Edited to add: I think it was actually Healing the Child Within. Sorry, I did both books at the same time and it's been a few years. I know I loved them both. I think the being your own best parent was in this one though.

Just commenting to say I know where you are. My INTJ friend has stuck with me through some honestly crazy times, and she's always seemed to encourage me to accept myself rather just judge myself unfairly.

I've also found reading about the "authentic self" particularly helpful, as well as doing activities that encourage you to get more in touch with your inner voice - such as tarot, where you're reflecting and reading deeply into your own psyche, meditation, and tapping accupressure points with affirmations- what I try to practice is something called Emotional Freedom Technique which some people say is too new-agey but I find really helps me let go of emotions that build up or don't belong to me.

Have courage and faith in yourself. Find INFJ role models to help you appreciate your unique charm ;)

This is a great book. Hard (emotionally painful) to read sometimes but very good. https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Child-Within-Discovery-Dysfunctional/dp/0932194400/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1569821478&sr=8-4