Reddit reviews Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts
We found 14 Reddit comments about Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
Finally, a thread where I can contribute! Let me take my gloves off. And first of all, excuse my English as I'm self-taught (but getting better!)
First off, you are not alone. I was first diagnosed with OCD in early 2018, and later other professionals dismissed that diagnosis. So, according to many, I don't have OCD, but I have traits of it. My first advice would be to seek treatment, which you already have, so my first actual advice is to go to a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy center and have some tests run on you. You say you have a weird form of anxiety/OCD. Well, maybe you don't have OCD at all. I don't want to give you false hopes, as you did not detail what is "weird" about it, but I've had several professionals tell me that there is not such a thing as "a little OCD". You either have it or not. With that out of the way, and with the best wishes, here's your arsenal, which will help you whether you do have OCD or you have traits of it that interfere with your life, like I do.
First, I wouldn't be answering your actual question and wouldn't be on this subreddit if I didn't recommend "The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD" (https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1608828786/). This is really, really good. Then there's "Everyday Mindfulness for OCD" (https://www.amazon.com/Everyday-Mindfulness-OCD-Tricks-Joyfully/dp/1626258929/) which I have not read but heard great things about, and, in the same venue, there's "The Mindfulness Workbook for Anxiety" (https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-Anxiety-8-Week-Solution/dp/1641520299/) which is not just for OCD but for anxiety in general.
EDIT: I have not ignored your comment saying that mindfulness has not been effective for you, but I would stay with it. Maybe you can supplement it with loving-kindness meditation which also has been great for me, but mindfulness is mainly what I do. But yes, it is hard, and OCD or OCD-like traits are sometimes going to suck no matter what you do. You just have to learn to live with them, or despite them!
Now, with meditation out of the way, I HAVE to recommend these books, because they have been great to me. The best of them all has been this one: "The OCD Workbook" (https://www.amazon.com/OCD-Workbook-Breaking-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder/dp/1572249218/). It's so helpful. Contact me if you can't get it. You are not going to be sorry, I promise.
The second best is "Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts" (https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346/). I can't recommend this one enough. Once again, contact me if you can't get it.
There is also a new one which I have not read but have bought (again, contact me if you can't get it) that is called "OCD: A Workbook for Clinicians" (https://www.amazon.com/OCD-Workbook-Clinicians-Obsessive-Compulsive/dp/1559570504/). I have it in my to-read list but have heard only GREAT things about it, and it's a very short book.
Now comes the memoir section. This is for when you don't want to feel alone (you're not). There's "Is Fred In The Refrigerator?" (https://www.amazon.com/Fred-Refrigerator-Taming-Reclaiming-Life/dp/1732177007/) Which I absolutely love. It's very motivational, at least to me. There is also "Pure OCD" (https://www.amazon.com/PURE-OCD-Invisible-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder/dp/1634919912/ maybe you referred to this as your "weird form of OCD"?) which is great but I had to put down because the girl started to talk about suicidal thoughts and it made me feel bad because it reminded me of my own struggle, and figured that for the time being, until I'm in a better place, I needed to stop. And then there's also this one which is pretty "funny" (without trying to be rude) that is called "Because We Are Bad" (https://www.amazon.com/Because-We-Are-Bad-Thought/dp/0062696165/) in which the author has a form of OCD that I have not heard of anybody else having.
And if you need to talk, feel free to message me. I love talking to other people who have to face mental health issues, because it makes me feel that I'm not alone, and it makes me feel that I'm contributing a little. Maybe we can even do some Skype sessions and endure the struggle together.
Stay strong over and over again (heh)
I'm friends with a sex addiction counselor and your issues are far more common than you think. You clearly need a therapist but a good one can easily fix this with only a few years time. It sounds to me like you've got traumatic, shame filled memories of your first sexual experiences and it's causing your thought patterns to become erratic and anxious. Basically with traumatic memories your brain goes into intense, fight or flight mode and you begin to believe terrifying and horrible things to be true despite the fact that they are not. Things like "I'm a monster" when you clearly are not.
What you can do right now is bring out a bunch of notebook paper and free write about your first sexual experiences. No judgement, just write out your thoughts and see where they take you. Allow yourself to fully think through the things you are thinking without judgement. It's scary, but it's clear the real you isn't a bad person, and no matter how frightened you are you must remember that the real person is always in control.
I also think you should immediately begin reading this: https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?keywords=intrusive+thoughts&qid=1575133963&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUFGUkMzQkxSU01TWEkmZW5jcnlwdGVkSWQ9QTA2NzAyODE3MDM0S0xEVzE4QkcmZW5jcnlwdGVkQWRJZD1BMDgxOTk5MzJKMUJUR0ZVNU5SNDcmd2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGYmYWN0aW9uPWNsaWNrUmVkaXJlY3QmZG9Ob3RMb2dDbGljaz10cnVl
Haven't read it myself but looks good. If you need money let me know and I'll venmo you. Don't wait to have it delivered, you need to download it on kindle and begin reading it right now. Take time off work or any responsibilities, if you can and spend some time meditating and relaxing.
I suffer from OCD as well, and oh boy, let me tell you all the intrusive thoughts I'd dealt with last summer was really brutal to my mental health, but it gets better once you learn how to manage it. The main key in dealing with these intrusive thoughts is by letting them pass through your mind. Don't think about them or dwell about them. If you keep thinking or fighting these thoughts, it keeps coming back. So try as best as you can not to think about them. Your thoughts are NOT you. Remember that.
Now, you have to ask yourself which gender you're really attracted to. There is nothing wrong with having SSA; however, by the sound of its, it sounds like you're either straight or bi. Also, these HOCD could be due to your brain trying the process the events that happened in your childhood that have affected you.
First thing first, are you seeing some sort of therapist to work with on overcoming your OCD tendencies? If cost is a factor, consider going to your local Catholic Charities center. Most have therapists available to help you and it's typically on a sliding scale.
Two, is there anyone you trust that you can talk with about what's going on, like a family member, friend, teacher, priest, etc. Once I was able to open up to my love ones, it felt like a major burden was taken off of me, and I could openly talk about it.
Finally, I recommend you read this book. It really helps you with dealing with unwanted intrusive thoughts.
Of course, make sure to pray daily, especially asking the Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Dymphna for their intercession.
Yes I went to a therapist and I have got better, in the mean time I would check out online professional help to online therapy
Working with a therapist is the best answer because it means that once you have the tools you can control and manage your OCD by yourself!
I would highly recommend this website
That website is really helpful in discussing lots of OCD topics
It helped me SO MUCH and made me feel so much better
And this book
Please seek professional help it's the best way to help you.
You are young and if you try and get professional help and work through it the right way you will have the best chance and then can live your years in peace.
Look into Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP, EX/RP, or “exposure therapy”).
What you are experiencing sounds really awful and yet it's entirely normal. The basic principle of the brain is "what fires together wires together". When you had that very intense experience combining orgasms and suicidal thoughts because of medication, it simply made a literal connection in your brain. You can break it, and any good therapist can help you (doesn't have to be a sex therapist).
This can be treated like an OCD symptom where you are having intrusive thoughts triggered by a stimulus. There are great books on how to do this and I highly recommend them:
Mind you, I'm not saying you have OCD, or any disorder. But your brain is "locked" in linking these two parts of your life in a very unpleasant way. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you and this could happen to anyone who was set off with nasty side effects of medication.
You may also approach this like an experience of Post Traumatic Stress, which can also show up with intrusive thoughts. Good resources for that exist too:
You didn't do anything wrong and you can definitely get past this. The harder you try to fix a mental association the more you can strengthen it, so you need some techniques. Tools for OCD and PTSD are designed just for you in that regard.
I'd buy all 4 books and then find any good therapist to work through them with.
Good luck. I know with the right tools and practice you can separate these two aspects of your experience and get back to enjoying sex, which you deserve.
My wife and I are reading “Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts” that may help guide you through this. Your OCD causes you to think so hard about this fear in so many ways that you’re almost creating a false memory. But, deep down, it feels like OCD, not reality. Here’s a link to the book:
There are quite a few other good books on living with and moving past the miserable cycles so common for those suffering with OCD. I’d recommend you search on amazon for highly rated books and pick up a few that strike you as likely to be relevant and helpful. Worst case you’ve read an unhelpful book and you’re out maybe $15.
1.) If OCD is the correct diagnosis, this is an awesome paper that lays out the framework for how to look at symptoms...even if you are referring out.
2.) For unwanted intrusive thoughts a few patients have liked the newer book
"Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts" https://www.amazon.com/dp/1626254346/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_jPJ2Bb4ZQ0TGR
(No affiliation with authors, just seems to be a great book to work through with client)
3.) Psychotherapy for OCD seems to be a specialty area with good reason as ex/rp has to be done very carefully. That said, I think more of us should be taking it on with appropriate supervision available as most intensive outpatient programs (that I've come across) do not address OCD and there is a shortage of providers in that niche
Trying to distract can be considered a compulsion. It's called avoidance.
Just so you know, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has been proven to be more effective and longer lasting than meds in these cases.
What helped me the most, and it takes time, was just letting the thoughts be there and not reacting to them.
It's like a dog barking at a table for food. if you ignore it he eventually lies down. You'll train your brain to treat it as just noise.
Check out this book too, saved my life.
overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts.
I have OCD too, particularly I have issues with intrusive thoughts. I recently picked up this book and it has saved me from so much torment.
OCD will attack the things you’re already anxious about. If you’re a person of faith, OCD will make you question it because it’s what’s most important to you. The more you allow these thoughts to exist, the easier they are to get over.
How are you doing? It's been 2 months since I quit now and things are going great. Sometimes the anxiety pops its head back up but by meditating and using CBT it goes away in 10 ish minutes now.
This is what I said to another user just now.
"Yeah I've made it through. It was insanely grueling at the beginning but things are going well for me now.
CBT(https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346) and Mindfulness meditation(through the headspace app) have helped me the most.
Hope you are doing well!"
Yes, I do.
I've recently been coming to terms with being a bi man, but part of me is worried that if I accept this then I could have all sorts of other perverted desires that have been hidden all along. After all, if I was able to deny my bisexuality for 30 years, what else could be lurking around 'down there'?
I know this is irrational, as I've had same-gender interest before I hit puberty and had to keep it hidden due to an aggressively anti-bi/gay religious and secular upbringing. In contrast, my intrusive thoughts were started by someone who specifically put the thought in my head a few months ago, which until then I never had. And as I was in a period of self-doubt and confusion regarding my sexuality at this time, the thoughts became 'stuck'. I'm seeing a therapist about this now.
The topic you mention (relationship doubt) is quite a common theme of intrusive thought (sometime called 'pure OCD'). It might be worth speaking to someone about this if it still bothers you. There was a study posted here a few days ago that concluded that bisexuals are a little more prone to anxiety in comparison to gay and straight people, so it might be worth reflecting on whether you are feeling anxious in general and not just about your relationship.
I found this book to be a massive help, and it specifically mentions the relationship doubt thoughts you mention, in addition to many other common themes found in anxious thinking. I also like that the book is aware that sexual orientation and intrusive thoughts are not the same thing (some people claim that anyone questioning their sexuality must be having 'intrusive thoughts'), and once uses an example of a gay man with intrusive thoughts that he could be straight, rather than the oft-cited straight person who fears that they're gay. It might be worth a read?
Listen, it's all temporary even if it doesn't feel that way. Go do something today. Be mindful of something stupid. This morning I was agonizing because of some stupid bitch who has caused drama in my life. She's out of it now but it still bothers me. I redirected my thoughts by sweeping leaves off my patio. It sounds so stupid but little microtransactions you do daily add up. I swept and listened to them crunch of them and paid attention to it. I maneuvered around the perpetually in the way dog. Then I drank a big ass glass of water and made bacon, eggs, and pancakes for my husband and I. Now I'm going to count the begonia plants so I can plan for next year.
All these little stupid things add up. Get a self help book and stick to it. It all counts little by little. I like this one: https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Unwanted-Intrusive-Thoughts-Frightening/dp/1626254346. THIS IS TEMPORARY. FEELING LIKE SHIT IS NOT DEFAULT.
This book really helped me, you should seriously consider reading it:
Check out this book on CBT for intrusive thoughts.
This link is direct to a pdf file of the book from Library Genesis, the altruistic every science book is now free site.
This link goes to a list of other books relating to bp in mental health.
In my experience it's about projecting a strong version of reality, a strong mental model, and forcing it to cohere the rest of your brain, overwhelming other thoughts, not letting anything ruminate, demanding an answer that fits with reality. Instead of letting your mind wander at work, use it to build your mental models of how the world works. What are you, how do you function, how do your moods work. How do your needs get met, how do people fall in love, how do you raise a good child. I at least start out my day dreaming by setting the tone. If not I'll wander and when I'm not well, I do get the wrong kinds of mental phenomena. It's not all focus on rainbows, but you start with big mental models of the world and the big picture so it's harder to get dragged down or distracted by the brutal things that exist in our past and in our heads. Peace and love!