Top products from r/malementalhealth

We found 24 product mentions on r/malementalhealth. We ranked the 23 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the top 20.

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Top comments that mention products on r/malementalhealth:

u/JA2point0 · 2 pointsr/malementalhealth

I've been exactly where you are. ADHD was, and in many ways still is, a defining feature of my life. Here's what I wish I'd known when I was your age:

-If you're feeling overwhelmed, there's nothing wrong with slowing down for a while. Consider dropping any honors or AP classes and taking an easier course load. The very worst case scenario is that if you want to attend a four-year-college, you'll have to attend community college first. By the time you're an adult, not even the world's most colossal snobs will care where you spent your first two years of university.

-Become an organizational freak, and do it ASAP. Keep your room squeaky clean at all times. Be someone who has a conscious system for staying on track. One of the most beloved systems for this, which also helps people without ADHD, is laid out in Getting Things Done by David Allen

-Start thinking about what you want your life to be like as an adult. What kind of career do you want? How important is money to you now, and how important do you think it will be by the time you're closing in on 30? What kind of work can you do for an extended period of time without making yourself completely miserable? These things are important for everyone to think about, but I think people with ADHD are even more prone to ignoring these questions. One of the most well-received books for helping address these questions is Designing Your Life, which is based on a course at Princeton. (Disclaimer: I just started reading it, so I can't offer a full assessment. But it seems like a book that someone in your situation would greatly benefit from reading.)

-Get physically fit, whatever that means to you. If fitness means being able to run marathons or swim fast, learn to do that. If it means looking in the mirror and seeing a ripped physique, learn to lift weights properly. Fitness is one of the world's most reliable confidence boosters, and if you're someone who struggles with ADHD, anything that can make you feel better about yourself is something you'll want to consider doing.

-Read about successful people with ADHD. It turns out that a lot of people with ADHD tend to perform well in creative and entrepreneurial endeavors. Personally, I'm working on building my own business, and I wish I'd started doing that a long time ago.

-Medication is an option, but don't rely on it exclusively. A pill isn't going to fix your ADHD, but it might put you in a frame of mind that helps you manage it more easily. Personally I can't deal with the side effects of the ADHD meds I've tried, so I don't currently take them.

u/0ldFashioned · 1 pointr/malementalhealth

My therapist has been motivating me to do some things that should be great for me, in the long run. I'm skeptical that they'll help a ton but that's the bad mental health speaking.

Last weekend I wrote a goodbye letter to a girl that I fell badly in love with last year. It was a "too good to be true" best-friendship but she wasn't interested in a relationship and has very different life goals. My head won't stop thinking that I'll never deserve anyone like her. Anyway, writing that was hard and it bummed me out for a few days. I'm good now, though!

Now I'm in the process of re-writing online dating profiles, hoping that it casts the type of net I need to meet someone. I read a book called "Data, A Love Story: How I Gamed Online Dating to Meet My Match" and it's given me a lot to think about, regarding what I'm looking for. The advice goes against what I'd prefer to do (which is to write a lot and be really picky) but maybe it'll help, although better pictures would surely be clutch. It's frustrating to do this stuff when one of my best friends can get any guy she's interested in with truly minimal effort. I know I shouldn't compare myself but it's hard not to.

Last thing, I subscribed to the Headspace app. I intend to use it once a day this week and try to get back into the habit of meditation.

u/CodeNewfie · 2 pointsr/malementalhealth

I'll also suggest books on Stoicism and Philosophy. However, before you jump right into the ancient/classical wisdom I'd recommend a modern introduction to introduce and help digest the principles.

A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy by William Irvine.

Then - Move onto Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and the rest. A great way to embrace stoic ideas daily is The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday

Also, strong recommendations for:

u/cheetah__heels · 1 pointr/malementalhealth

It sounds like your life lacks purpose. Perhaps step outside yourself and try to help others? Volunteer? You're in your head too much. Once you can give yourself to a community, I think you'll worry less about your own problems while providing solutions for others.

I've been there man. Some days I'm still in it. What helped me immensely was starting Brazilian Jujitsu. I belong to an amazing community of like-minded people. Every day I get to help people newer than me while testing myself against people that are better than me. But you don't have to do exactly that, just try to fill your time with a purpose. Look into Viktor Frankl.

Best of luck my friend.

u/WhakaWhakaWhaka · 3 pointsr/malementalhealth


This is the principle of continual improvement, no matter how small.

Resource: Link

Book rec: Link

This process helps you learn to accomplish your goals by shrinking the steps down to be manageable enough to form a habit of improvement.

For instance, lets say you have a fitness goal to be able run 5 miles.
Most plans have you doing a set number of sprints, distance runs and timed runs set at a 2 - 3 month plan.

Kaizen helps you breakdown the major challenges into small and accomplishable steps.
Running a half mile too much?
What about a block?
How about walking to the corner and back?
Maybe just think about running?

Once you set the amount you are comfortable with, then it’s about supporting ANY effort you make towards that goal while dismissing negative thoughts by allowing forgiveness and reassurance that tomorrow brings a new day to continue or start again.

Once you’ve established a habit, the process starts again by asking improve your efforts on the goal by just 1%.
No more, no less.
Just 1%.

Once that’s a habit, just increase it again by 1%.
Not to mean you are now doing 2% of your goal, but even just 1% more than the previous effort is the focus of the philosophy.

With enough time of continuous small improvements you will make it to your goal, which is more important than when you make it to your goal.

Life is hard and pressure can be overwhelming to have certain accomplishments by a certain age or time, but the important thing is to work at a pace that is manageable and rewarding to you, not as a punishment.

Setting goals or paces too hard end up as their own obstacles that can seem daunting and punishing, which is not what healthy growth is about and can end up throwing you off from even attempting your goal.

Hopefully this is helpful for you.

u/map_backwards · 1 pointr/malementalhealth

The Gift of Fear by Gavin deBecker

  • Amazon Link

    Overview (partial copy/pasta from amazon): In this empowering book, Gavin de Becker[...] shows you how to spot even subtle signs of danger—before it's too late. Shattering the myth that most violent acts are unpredictable, de Becker[...] offers specific ways to protect yourself and those you love, to act when approached by a stranger...when you should fear someone close to you...what to do if you are being to uncover the source of anonymous threats or phone calls...the biggest mistake you can make with a threatening person...and more. Learn to spot the danger signals others miss. It might just save your life.

    I am a female redditor so /u/Powerspawn, if you or the community rather I be a quiet observer for now feel free to remove the comment. However I do think this book is a wonderful tool for those working on their mental health. I grew up in a dysfunctional family situation (to put it nicely) and from a young age was taught to not only doubt myself, but to give unearned trust and respect to people in perceived positions of power. This book was a great supplement to a lot of the other work I've been doing to reclaim myself for me.
u/FightDragonGetGold · 11 pointsr/malementalhealth

Hi I was in your shoes.ok, here is what I think. First and foremost. You need to deeply understand that a child is not a young adult. They think fundamentally different from you. Don't expect them to be rational. They will get upset because carrots touched peas. It's not rational. Stop expecting them to be rational. Once you a accept that they are irrational you will feel better.

Second, realize that they don't have the see emotional control that adults have. They aren't going to develop it after a certain year.nor are they going to learn it by observation alone. It is a skill that has to be explicitely taught. I mean develop an actually well informed plan that will teach them how to regulate their emptions then implement it using pretend play. Use his stuffed animals to simulate what is appropriate. You have to teach them these skills. The biggest mistake you can make is that he will just magically know. Has to be taught. After teaching him, practice over and over.

Third, stop saying calm down. Stupidest thing an adult could say to an upset child. That's like saying to a teenager, hey do algebra when they haven't been taught or given experience practising how to do algebra. Stop saying calm down.

Four, realize that kids and married life is not driven by tour desire for efficiency. Family life is often inefficient. Acept that things are inefficient and that your kid will want to do things in a slow way. Let him do it slow.

Buy this book:
Don't delaym buy it right now. Don't make excuses. Stop pretending you will get it later. But it right now. It gives very specific parenting techniques that you can start using immediately. Seriously, buy it now.

Lastly, you will have to change your attitude in desiring many men think the point of life is to pursue happiness and that is done thru freedom. Major lie. Life is about being respnsibikity and pursuing meaning. What brings meaning? Personal development, family, confronting your own problems and learning to deal with them. Stop pursuing happiness. Be the man your child deserves. Reject passivity.
Good luck

u/zaikman · 7 pointsr/malementalhealth

The moment you said 'walking on eggshells', I knew how the rest of your story was going to play out. I was in a similar relationship for four years, which was about four years longer than I should have been in it.

There's a very good chance that your ex sufferers from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I'd bet money on the fact that she had a narcissistic parent. The definitive book about dealing with people who suffer from BPD is actually called ['Stop Walking on Eggshells'] ( . I can't recommend it enough. Reading it was like reading a transcription of my daily life, as accurately as if someone had been following me around with a notepad and tape recorder.

Glad you're out of it, man. Hope you're doing better and learned a lot of valuable lessons about what you need and (just as importantly) what you deserve in a relationship.

u/I_Punch_Ghosts_AMA · 2 pointsr/malementalhealth

That’s terrible that you are not being given any resources. If you want to do some reading, here are some absolutely essential books you need to check out:

My wife lives with ocd (the real kind, not the cutesy sitcom kind that people toss around) and these have helped a lot, in addition to some good therapy. There’s also an ocd subreddit that might be of some help. I hope you can find some good care off campus, with someone who knows what they’re doing.

u/momentary_mori · 2 pointsr/malementalhealth

I have fought this dragon, I have some weapons to share. It's a big dragon, and detailed examples help, so this is a long post. For even longer-form content, here are some books I can recommend:

  • The Defining Decade
  • Feeling Good
  • The Inconsequential Child: Overcoming Emotional Neglect
  • 10% Happier

    Here are your weapons, in no particular order.

    First: understand that you are not broken.

    You are having a tough time deciding on a course for yourself. That's okay. You are having a tough time finding joy. That's okay too. You don't think "anything is worth it". That is okay, and it presents you with a goal: to find enough meaning that the effort will be worth it. That goal probably seems far fetched, but it is possible.

    I used to think that I was broken. I used to think that the things people had done to me and the circumstances of my life had left irreparable harm. I was wrong, and you are wrong too. You are imbued with the same worthiness as every other human being, no matter what. You are worthy of love and happiness, you are worth respecting, you are worthy of having a supportive group of friends, your opinions are worth hearing. You deserve sincerity and honesty and you are allowed to fuck up.

    You're also 20, and it is understandable if you don't know how to do most things, as you have never done most things more than once or twice, if ever. You can learn and improve yourself through effort. You are not broken.

    Second: understand the difference between thoughts and actions and feelings.

    When we have thoughts, they are not a direct experience of the world, they are a projection of reality into language. Thoughts are "said" by your internal narrator, which is part of you, but not all of you. Deliberate or practiced (i.e. automatic but not reflexive) actions are the physical equivalent of thoughts.

    Feelings are a direct experience of your physical body: you feel hungry, you feel tired, you feel a tight muscle in your back, you feel anxious. Babies without language feel these things too. These feelings are part of you, but not all of you, because they are temporary.

    If you have never paid attention to your thoughts vs. feelings, that's okay. But self-awareness is a powerful ability, and will make your life a lot easier, and it can be learned.

    Third: upward spirals.

    Feelings naturally become thoughts and actions. We practice it all our lives. An aching pain becomes "Ow, I should stop.", a feeling of abandonment becomes "They don't want to talk to me". Your mapping is not fixed and can be improved with practice: marathon runners translate their aches into "I should change my form," social people translate their feelings of abandonment into "I miss them, I'll reach out and see if they want to talk".

    No feelings->thought translation is "better" or "worse" than any other, there are only "upward" and "downward" spirals. Upward spirals are mappings where negative feelings lead to thoughts and actions that tend to lead to positive feelings; downward spirals are mappings where positive feelings lead to thoughts and actions that tend to lead to negative feelings.

    So, you want to learn to work in upward spirals. This means you need to be willing to try difficult things, and risk failure, which is scary but not fatal, and infinitely rewarding. If you are risk-averse, that's okay. You can take as small a risk as you are comfortable with, it will develop a sort of meta-confidence about your ability to handle future risky situations.

u/PrimeTemps · 3 pointsr/malementalhealth

I would also recommend Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy to get an overall sense of CBT.

u/kanzie · 1 pointr/malementalhealth

Congrats, you’re dealing with someone that has borderline disorder. You either stay the f away (which you’ve tried) or read something like “stop walking on eggshells” to learn how to deal with it. They say it’s possible, for me though I’ve gone through many of them (you get hooked somehow and gravitate towards the crazy) and never figured out how to not die in the process.

My five cents, the sex is always amazing, that’s the tool they use (unconsciously) for control. You stop allowing yourself to get suckered in and after awhile keeping the rest of it up get old fast!

edit: added link to referenced book

u/Devilled_Advocate · 5 pointsr/malementalhealth

Oh man, here's the book for you.

Basically it's about assessing your belongings and surrounding yourself with only things that make you happy.

u/Heyeddieadams1 · -2 pointsr/malementalhealth

Everyone should read 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos by Jordan Peterson.

Really insightful wisdom. Real, succinct and cuts right to the problems a lot of young men struggle with everyday.

u/ReshiMD · 3 pointsr/malementalhealth

Everyone’s saying that the doctor’s wrong, and I get why. However, conquering depression, as a rule, does mean that you have to try despite how bleak things feel.

Know what’s empirically a good idea. I dont care if you shave, but shower once a day. Get your nutrients. People are in worse positions than you are and you should feel gratitude in that. Other practices are important too but a smidge unorthodox. Meditation is great and there is an app on iOS and Android called Waking Up that has made an enormous impact on countless people. If you cannot afford an account, they will make you an account for free and if after a year you can’t yet afford it, email them once more for another year of membership.

Email: [email protected]

Also, get an app that tracks your sleep. Android iOS

Do not forsake your sleep. It’s not cool. The middle class merely bought into it being “cool.” If you need some science here’s a book that knows its shit. If your depression is fucking you then get it on Audible with a free trial or listen, listen, listen. This is no small thing.

Forget your weight. Are you fat? So? Why does that matter? Americans are fat. I’m fat. Eat better. Smoothie. Try doing some exercises because it feels good to be limber or some cardio because your brain feels GREAT once you do. If your joints are fucked go swimming. Pay for a membership or use your school. They’re probably billing you to keep the lights on anyway.

Why do you think labeling yourself as a coward is a good thing? Genuinely, why? Even subconsciously, why? You have to choose to be better. The pills or this doctor will never ever fix your problems. Look, all of this was typed out in the bathroom. I’m on the can and I believe in you. And my ass hurts so im going to stop here, but I have more information and I will reply to you if you want to take this further. Ask your questions.