Reddit reviews Feel the Fear . . . and Do It Anyway
We found 14 Reddit comments about Feel the Fear . . . and Do It Anyway. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
Reddit reviews Feel the Fear . . . and Do It AnywayWe found 14 Reddit comments about Feel the Fear . . . and Do It Anyway. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
Feel the fear and do it anyway is a really good book. It changed my life and the way I perceive my fears.
Alright. This is going to be hard for you but with a little initiative and courage, you can become the individual you want to be. Here are a few resources to get you started:
I used to be very shy and pretty awful at partying, interacting with women or just basically having a life. I now work at a job where my ability to communicate (and generally be interesting) is my chief marketable skill (no small feat for someone who was shy and boring). All the resources I suggested above were integral in helping me translate my desires into action. You already know what you want to achieve. It's just a matter of actually getting out of your comfort zone.
Good luck!
Feel The Fear...and Do It Anyway. You probably don't even have to buy the book - "the title alone gets two snaps up".
ok
Firstly, if you are not seeing a trauma specialized therapist I highly suggest you consider seeing one. Just from your description it sounds like your issues are above the pay-grade of your current clinicians, or they are not putting in the proper amount of effort. The fact that you have so many complicating issues and your clinicians are not understanding why you having these shutdowns is a big red flag that something is amiss with them. I presume that you are being open and honest with them about all of your current issues, and that they know about your history of abuse/trauma.
You should also definitely do some reading about borderline personality disorder.
Please don't take this the wrong way, but absolutely, positively stay away from any drugs, even legal ones like alcohol. You are a perfect candidate for death by addiction, unfortunately.
Here are a few books that you might find useful:
https://www.amazon.com/Feel-Fear-Do-Anyway/dp/0345487427
https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131
https://www.amazon.com/Complex-PTSD-Workbook-Mind-Body-Regaining/dp/1623158249
https://www.amazon.com/Unspoken-Voice-Releases-Restores-Goodness/dp/1556439431
https://www.amazon.com/Pocket-Guide-Polyvagal-Theory-Transformative/dp/0393707873
I strongly suggest you try to get some serious headway on your issues BEFORE you try going to college. It might be worth taking a year or two off and just working and going to therapy/working on issues before you attempt to go to college full time.
Do you happen to live in a very religious area? Do you have a very religious family?
Look if it just comes down to "too afraid", then you'll either have to grow some balls and do it anyway, or not. And the second option means not getting any pussy, it means BEING a pussy. Your choice.
Bran thought about it. 'Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?'
'That is the only time a man can be brave,' his father told him.
I was scared the other day when I told an aggressive guy at work that he had to wait and closed the door on him. I was scared when I did a firewalk. I was scared every single time I went on stage to sing and play, and I did that more than fifty times. But I did it anyway because I know you either do it or you don't and not doing it is NOT an option.
You know on some level that there is nothing to fear. I have just given you a way to remove the pressure of winning.
The only way you will remove the underlying emotional fear is by proving otherwise repeatedly. And nothing will make that happen except doing it. In some cases, the underlying fear NEVER goes away.
Too fucking bad. Welcome to being a man.
Oh believe me, plenty of people said different pieces of what I just wrote, to ME almost verbatim, long before I realized it. You can logically agree and follow something, without truly realizing it for a truth. You can also reasonably disagree with a lot of things and then come to realize that they were truths. It has absolutely nothing to do with intelligence and all to do with receiving the correct tools while being open to hearing, listening and following new ideas, sometimes to very dark places.
It was not an easy or painless journey getting my shit together (and in fact, I've come to accept that LIFE is getting ones shit together and we will always be on this journey!) but it is definitely worth it and anyone can do it. Doubt is the greatest poison ever concocted, but I realized after that philosophy class, that doubt can ALSO be the greatest tool, the greatest ally. Against doubt, ALL illusions must fold eventually, truth alone can prevail. If you follow thoughts long enough, if you question broadly enough, if you think of enough possibilities and argue each enough, you will be able to crumble illusions in your fist. But ONLY if you are willing to do so and believe me when I say that half the time, you will be very reluctant to relinquish the illusions.
I forget myself still, on occasion. Especially when I am being extra female for the month, the irrational hormonal derp I go through with the cycle is absolutely ridiculous and I've fallen into pits of depression before simply because I forget that I am only feeling like a piece of shit due to being on the rag XD No one is perfect, but it will be a great gift to yourself to explore these routes of yourself.
Guilt and fear are gigantic poisons, and they are almost always synonymous. In fact, it can be argued that the only time they are not synonymous is when there is a primal fight or flight response. Guilt often catalyzes fear. There are a good amount of books and things I have studied that helped me develop different lines of thinking, and I will link you to the least controversial: http://www.amazon.com/Feel-Fear-Do-It-Anyway/dp/0345487427/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1372058733&sr=8-1&keywords=feel+the+fear+and+do+it+anyway
Now listen: I hate hate hate HATE HATE HATE self-help books. I hate them with a burning and terrible passion. I ooze poison and fire out the side of my mouth at the mere THOUGHT. But I had to read one for a class I took last semester and I read that one. And while pieces of it are hokey and there are a few disagreements I have with it, the book did change my life. It came to me at a very pivotal time and helped me deal with decision making. It's about fear, but fear is in just about everything, so really it is about realizing what you want, weighing each side and making choices, and it has diagrams and examples and explains things real well sometimes. Also it is a quick read I think. Lots of diagrams.
Yeah that person below is right. Also, I've come to play with the idea lately that love is synonymous with acceptance. Also, you can provide yourself with everything you need to be happy, healthy and free. It is a great experience and privilege to share life with somebody else, but they cannot control your happiness and if they ATTEMPT TO CONTROL your happiness, or any PART of your life, no matter how well-intentioned, you should consider leaving if you have a chat and they refuse to allow you to make your own decisions. You can love and accept a thousand people without conditions, but you also deserve the same.
Also, my ideas are always fluid, take nothing I say too seriously, but know that I genuinely mean anything I say. And you might discover different truths than I have. And that's okay too. As long as we remain on the quest for truth, as long as we embrace doubt instead of hiding from it (even though it is the scariest thing there is), we will all be okay. Vigilance!
Book people have you covered
Feel the Fear . . . and Do It Anyway https://www.amazon.com/dp/0345487427/
What it means? I would have nothing to add to what pamiamb already wrote.
What to do?... I recommend reading Feel the fear and do it anyway.
When I was in college I did go on anti-depressants for a couple of years. Took awhile to find the proper dosage that worked for me but after having taken them for awhile I definitely felt like it was helping with the physical symptoms of the depression and anxiety. The medication helped even out my moods and helped calm the physical symptoms of anxiety like the butterflies and the sweating and the jitteriness. What it didn't do however, was fix the negative thought patterns going on in my head. I had almost hoped when I started it that it would be almost like a magical bullet to fix all the problems. It is not. I saw a therapist 2 or 3 times through my college and she was helpful at the time to help with immediate things I was struggling with, school work, life, etc. but it was not in depth enough or long enough to really attack the underlying problems. Also at that age, 21, 22, I didn't even have a full grasp on what was going on inside my head. I didn't understand why these things were happening, what contributed to me feeling this way, or any of that so I don't think you can really fix or attempt to fix the problem until you start to unwind it all in your head on how you ended up where you are at.
There have been 4 distinct moments in my life where I was hit with the strongest anxiety attacks I've ever had. Moving from home in a small town to go to college on my own (this new place, being on my own, having to rely only on myself, everything was so overwhelming), the day I came out to my family (I was so numb with anxiety there are moments where I cannot remember what happened but I did feel so much better. No matter what their reaction the "secret" was finally out.), the time I got summoned for Jury Duty (I had no idea what I was doing or walking into and the notion of being picked as a juror was terrifying to me, the whole thing was just so terrifying and there was nothing I could do to avoid it), and finally when I moved into my own apartment on my own for the first time (which was just 2 years ago at the age of 31. Before that I had always had a roommate who I could lean on and rely on to help me with things).
Just before I went in for Jury Duty, I read a book called Feel the Fear...and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. It teaches some ways to try and cope and move forward when dealing with anxiety and similar issues. She has other books and it's not really in depth enough that it fixes everything but it was helpful. There was a passage in it that I liked and has been helpful for me to remember. It was something to the effect of:
"No matter what comes your way, you can handle it."
No matter what's on the other side of that thing that's giving us anxiety, we can handle it. We may not know what it is or what we are doing but we'll figure it out as we need to and will be able to move through it. That may not necessarily be the case all the time but for the most part it holds up, that's essentially what she is getting at. I was still anxious as hell for jury duty but I made it through. I happened to get EXTREMELY lucky though and my juror number didn't get picked in any of the courtrooms I had to go into so I never had to face the lawyers or judges. There were a few of us in the same boat and as the week went on and there were fewer and fewer of us left we were joking that we were playing Survivor: Court Room Edition to see who would be left. The whole thing was terrifying but I made it through.
To tie back to those specific incidents, the same holds true for those as well. I was extrememly anxious and overwhelmed, often so numb that I was basically on autopilot. I was a nervous wreck I made the people around me irritated by my behaviour and the things I talked about, the constant worrying, the countdown to the day where I had to actually face the thing I couldn't avoid, but in the end though, when I faced the thing the scared me and walked through it, I made it through to the other side. I faced it and was able to deal with whatever happened. When I moved to college, eventually once I got used to living in residence, and I got all my paperwork sorted out for student loans and bank stuff, and I got to know my way around the school, I was able to start meeting people in my classes and gained new friends (one of whom became my best friend, we still see each other regularly some 11 years after graduating) and I was able to settle in and be more comfortable and the anxiety wore off. With coming out to my family I gave them all letters and then sort of talked with my sisters and mother that day and they were all accepting (parents were a little slower but they came around) and my sisters ended up throwing me a coming out BBQ that summer to celebrate. Nothing bad happened to me or the people around me when I finally did the thing that scared me and the anxiety wore off. When I finally moved into my apartment, the building managers were all very helpful with me filling out my paperwork and getting everything all set up. They were friendly and everything went smoothly. My biggest worry about living on my own was keeping everything budgeted and paying my bills, paying rent on time, and taking care of myself. It took probably 6 or 8 months before I really finally settled in and everything wasn't so stressful anymore but eventually I figured it all out and I'm doing OK. The anxiety wore off once I knew I had faced the unknown and scary things about living on my own and figured it out.
Is it the job itself or the company you worked for, or a combination of both?
Your next few steps are good and you might think about going to see a vocational counsellor who could help you segue into another career that might be more suitable to your temperament and life goals. This is a major stress time for you but you will weather the storm because you won't go under.
I often recommend a book to people who have fears about certain things that they are unable to deal with. You might check it out, as well. It's called, Feel the Fear, Do it Anyway.
https://www.amazon.com/Feel-Fear-Do-Anyway/dp/0345487427/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1483076727&sr=1-1&keywords=feel+the+fear+and+do+it+anyway
Good luck. You will be fine.
A friend of mine has just relayed a story of him finding out this is happening to his close friend, a close friend who is making himself suffer because of it. I have two issues with that firstly you should be able to tell your friends anything, friends should be supportive when you are suffering, secondly he is giving himself a hard time about something he cannot change.
Self acceptance is key, actually genuinely, it only matters as much as you are making it. Those that know you and love you wont care, anyone else can either accept it or very simply JUST FUCK OFF.
Youre still a good person and nobody is perfect, absolutely nobody. People tend to make mountains of molehills, think you the very worst in their heads about events that havent taken place yet.
I recommend a starter of self acceptance a main course of dealing with it and a sweet of viveing the fucking difference.
I hope that helps, because its absolute honesty.
A book I would heartily recommend
Susan Jeffers - Feel the fear and do it anyway
http://www.amazon.com/Feel-Fear-Do-Anyway/dp/0345487427/ref=pd_rhf_shvl_1
It's all about overcoming hurdles, hurdles that are self imposed.
Good luck and try not to let it get you down, it just isnt worth it, learn to love yourself for who and what you are. Self acceptance, thats the place you need to be, nobodys perfect, focus on your good points, if you cant love yourself, if its getting you down, get to the docs, get some anti-depressants - they really work - and then go gen up on neuro linguistic therapy, very often, your mind plays tricks on you to the point where you need to trick it so you get back in control, it is possible and NLP works a treat. You need to get to a point where you can laugh at yourself, and it doesnt matter.
My sympathies! I struggle with this too, so I know how much it sucks. I've recently been able to get a bit better with self confidence, though, and you definitely can too. I think you'll get useful advice that should, among other things, help you boost your self confidence out of this MOOC and this book.
> It is not from a bestselling book — indeed no publisher would want it: even the most eloquent management thinker would struggle to spin a whole book around it.
I'm quite positive a lot of publisher and writers do it and did it. Per example. Another life changing short sentence: 'Feel the fear and do it anyway'.
I like the article. Fits well with the journalling I'm occasionally doing, but put of because I always want to capture all the details.
If you need an entire book about it - https://www.amazon.com/Feel-Fear-Do-Anyway/dp/0345487427