Reddit reviews Mindfulness in Plain English: 20th Anniversary Edition

If you don't have much experience meditating, it can make you more anxious and your thoughts can spiral into dark places if that's a mental pattern you experience often. It would be great if you can learn to meditate eventually, but I would suggest learning to breathe. when you're especially anxious or feeling fear a lot of tension and anxiety builds up in the chest, and learning to breathe and voluntarily control your breath can help relieve that tension. A good exercise to start is breathing in for 4 seconds, holding for 7 seconds, then exhaling for 8 seconds and repeating that cycle for a few minutes at a time.

Otherwise I would check out 'Mindfulness in plain English ', a book that explains a good deal about the roots of fear and anxiety, and teaches Buddhism in an introductory way that can help you on a mental path towards dissolving some of those negative emotions you experience.

I used to get anxious a lot more (I still do) and it can be overwhelming sometimes and paralyzing - learning to breathe and examine that anxiety/fear instead of getting more afraid because it was 'bad' has helped me roll with the waves of anxiety a lot easier, and override that anxiety with logic and talking my mind through it.

I'm 51. You're right -- the perceived speed at which time passes increases continuously as one ages. Here are my suggestions for slowing it down (these work for me most of the time):

• Practice mindfulness. I found the book Mindfulness in Plain English to be very helpful in this regard. Stay in the moment as much as possible and pay attention to this day and this activity. In this same vein, try to minimize the time you spend in activities that cause you to "zone out."
  
• Seek Novelty -- Change it up! Drive home a different route once in a while. Stop at parks you don't normally visit. Eat at restaurants you haven't tried before. Try new things, go to new places, listen to new radio stations, resequence your routines. In my opinion, the two greatest causes of time passing quickly are habit and mindless diversion.
  
• Schedule Multiple Items on Your Free Days -- I discovered this by accident, but for some reason days seem longer to me when I have multiple different activities. Having four three-hour activities with distinct breaks between them seems to last longer than a single twelve-hour activity.
  
• Put hard limits on habitual activities -- Set a timer, alarm, etc. when you begin an activity such as video gaming or watching television. When the timer goes off, stop. Get up, walk around, and find something else to do.
  
• Pick up a hobby that requires you to leave your home -- Photography, most sports, travel, attending concerts and lectures, volunteering, etc... These hobbies require you to get out of your home and pay more attention to the world around you.

Any standard GP should be able to help her try a different anti-depressant. Her fatigue may be a sign of atypical depression which could help guide medication choice.

Some evidence-based non medication based interventions include that are easy to acccess:

Cognitive behavioural therapy

• Beating the Blues Online free counselling programme, requires GP to give you access. NZ based.
  
• Sparx NZ designed 3D role playing game that counsels you.
  
• MoodGym Free Aussy online counselling programme. There is also E couch and MoodJuice
  
• For a book I recommend The happiness trap. Not CBT but a related one called Acceptance Commitment Therapy which is also effective.
  
• For face to face, this will depend on her and what kind of person she wants to open up to. If you don't have a good connection with the counselor it's a waste of time. Therefore it's difficult to make a blanket recommendation.
  
• If she works at a large company they may have "EAP" (employee assistance programme) where you can normally get free counselling.
  
  Meditation
  
  
• Calm website Free Auckland uni based
  
• Headspace Not free but pretty good. There is also a free trial.
  
• For face to face, there are plenty of courses around.
  
• For a book I recommend mindfulness in plain English
  
  Exercise
  
  
• Shown to be effective. No links other than proof http://www.cochrane.org/CD004366/DEPRESSN_exercise-for-depression
  
  And remember, in a crisis call 0800 800 717 for 24/7 urgent mental health help.
  
  Source: am a doctor.

Get the Headspace App and start with that. Also, read Mindfulness In Plain English.

Mindfulness meditation. Read Mindfulness in Plain English as it's an awesome primer. It's especially good in situations like this where you are still attached to something that really never was permanent in the first place.

If you want a simple guide: Mindfulness in Plain English

If you are interested in an in-depth guide and more oriented towards a step-by-step process: The Mind Illuminated

Now this is the most important point I want to get across. Books will only superficially help you understand with what the mind is. The only way to understand the mind is by investigating it yourself, and the only way to do that is the actual practice of meditation.

TM practitioner here. I won't go on about finding a way to do it. I just wanted to caution you not to believe you can get something off the internet that will be almost as good. Someday you may have the opportunity. Don't spoil it by dabbling and corrupting your experience. This is a good book on mindfulness (Vipaissana meditation) if you want to go there in the meantime:



https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Plain-English-20th-Anniversary-ebook/dp/B003XF1LKW/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

uuu uuu one I can help on...
u/wmfj I'll add in a lot of details here.

I have been meditating now for about 5 or 6 years and have worked alongside Theravada Buddhists to better understand my practice. Meditation is not about exploring your feeling as much as it is about helping you form new habits. That is what the Eight-fold Noble Path is all about, good habits.

The goal of meditation is to help you be “mindful.” To slow your mind down and focus on the here and now. So think about “right speech.” This is just an example for illustration purposes; I am not saying you are doing this. While talking to some lovely lady you begin to realize you were negative about something and it is turning her off. So you make an adjustment. Developing the habit of not speaking negative about things is a priority but first you have to realize you are doing it and then slowdown in order to stop it and be more thoughtful of what you are saying. This is the essence of mindfulness and Buddhism. It takes time to achieve everything that meditation should achieve, and everyone is different. So how long it will take you to benefit is really up to you.

The guided meditations on this site were used on studies that helped people deal with anxiety and a lot of other issues. The breath and the loving kindness mediations are the ones that are best to start with.

http://marc.ucla.edu/default.cfm?id=1

Personally, I do prefer this one though, it is more in line with the original Pali

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

One of the best books on meditation is Mindfulness in Plain English.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003XF1LKW/ref=oh_aui_d_detailpage_o00_?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Exercise will help too, both to impress the ladies with a hot bod and with social anxiety. Once you get over social anxiety and learn to go with the flow, meeting people will become more and more natural, to include women. This last part is what I have been working on the past year as far as my self-improvement plan and it is paying massive dividends. Not that I’m getting laid on the regular but I know I am getting closer to what I want which is a long term relationship.

I think you all the other advice here has you covered especially u/bunilde. Good luck

You're definitely asking the right question. :)

You might try a few well regarded books on meditation. So many to choose from, but two that helped me during early days are:

Mindfulness in Plain English: 20th Anniversary Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003XF1LKW/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_51hdBbMRFMS0T

Meditation Now or Never https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000VM9YV8/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_N4hdBbKZGW4M6

I hate just to reccomend a book, but if you can get your hands on a copy of Mindfulness: In Plain English, it is excellent in terms of explaining meditation simply and easily and making it approachable for beginners.

That sounds awesome man. Good to have goals. Congrats on retiring!
If you are into philosophy check out:

Epicurus:
http://www.epicurus.net/en/principal.html

Buddhist meditation:
https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Plain-English-20th-Anniversary-ebook/dp/B003XF1LKW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1510271937&sr=8-1&keywords=mindfulness+in+plain+english

The Tao Te Ching;
https://www.amazon.com/Lao-tzus-Taoteching-Lao-Tzu-ebook/dp/B00APD9VP2/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1510271966&sr=1-1&keywords=tao+te+ching+red+pine

You can meditate anywhere. I can and have meditated on public transit. Takes some practice of course, but one of the points of mindfulness is to acknowledge distractions and then let them go, and you get better and better at it as you progress.

I highly recommend Mindfulness in Plain English. Not only does it go into the philosophical reasons and ways of meditation, but also the practical aspects of how to go about it. Quick and fantastic read if you want to get into meditation.

Mindfulness meditation (sometimes just called 'mindfulness.') By requiring you to sit straight up but not flex any muscles to hold you there, meditation forces you to be aware of your body and form good back/neck posture. If you do it often enough ("establish a meditative practice"), it starts to change the way you sit normally in everyday life. It's not the hippy-dippy bullshit you might think it is - there's no religious buddhism stuff unless you want it, the actual meditating is about viewing your feelings objectively. Mindfulness is also super useful for anxiety (why I got into it), and according to my therapist, clinically proven to effect positive changes on your mental health.


The way I started was with the book "Mindfulness in Plain English". http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Plain-English-20th-Anniversary-ebook/dp/B003XF1LKW/. It's a simple read, and you don't need any special equipment to start and try it: just a floor, some loose clothes, and a pillow or two from your bed to support your butt.

You may want to consider some (in)formal instruction to help you maximize your practice for those sessions.

When I first started, I started with 15 minutes (20 is also not outside the realm of reason) and then added 5 minutes each successive week until I hit about 35 minutes per session; that's my personal limit for right now. During these sessions, I'm normally trying some kind of technique (labeling, checking in, noting, etc) to maintain focus on the meditation object (in my case the breath). By the end of these sessions, I wouldn't say that I am exhausted, but I have definitely spent effort to train my mind and I do notice it afterward.

While I personally use the book The Mind Illuminated as my means of instruction, you could also look into others like Mindfulness in Plain English or even an introductory program to help guide you along.

Check out /r/Meditation. They have a large list of recommended books on mindfulness/meditation in the sidebar.

One book I constantly see being recommended is Mindfulness in Plain English.

Another option is The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh.

Both are good for beginners for getting started with mindfulness and how to apply it to your life.

There's a book called Mindfulness in Plain English that's pretty religion-neutral iirc (been a couple years since I lost my copy), but it's still a pretty great introduction to the concept.

I'd be careful with Zen stuff, since it's a pretty rough process that doesn't translate/adapt well into Western cultural norms. I need to do a deeper dive into it since I adore its elevator pitch, though.

Best book on meditation I've come across is Mindfulness in Plain English by Bhante Gunaratana.


It's the perfect place to start and to deepen your practice.

Hope this helps, has definitely changed my life.

Urban Dharma offers the book in its entirety online here: http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe.html

But you can find the paperback version here: http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Plain-English-20th-Anniversary-ebook/dp/B003XF1LKW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1406688154&sr=8-1&keywords=mindfulness+in+plain+english

This book is SUPER practical, for example take a look at the chapter names:

Chapter 1 ...(Meditation: Why Should I Bother?)

Chapter 2 ...(What Meditation Isn't)

Chapter 3 ...(What Meditation Is)

Chapter 4 ...(Attitude)

Chapters 5 ...(The Practice)

Chapter 6 ...(What To Do With Your Body), General Rules, Clothing, Traditional Postures

Chapter 7 ...(What To Do With Your Mind)

Chapter 8 ...(Structuring Your Meditation), Where To Sit, When To Sit, How Long To Sit

Chapter 9 ...(Set up Exercises), The Threefold Guidance, Universal Loving-Kindness

Chapter 10 ...(Dealing With Problems)

Chapter 11 ...(Dealing With Distractions, I)

Chapter 12 ...(Dealing with Distractions, II)

Chapter 13 ...(Mindfulness - Sati)

Chapter 14 ...(Mindfulness Versus Concentration)

Chapter 15 ...(Meditation in Everyday Life)

Chapter 16 ...(What's in It for You)

Before I start, here is a search on pubmed for mindfulness. I just want you to see how much research in this area is exploding. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/?term=mindfulness

Its called dissociation when its unwilled, harmful, and misunderstood and called mindfulness when it is initiated, beneficial, and understood. At least this is what it seemed to me. I went through some unique circumstances that left me dissociated and perhaps I am still a bit so but it is enjoyable rather than disturbing.

Unfortunately, mindfulness is really a subsection of meditation. Which means its quite difficult to find good info on because of ten thousand years of cryptic motherfuckers accidentally obscuring things. If you are interested, here are the better resources I've found.

Mindfulness in plain english

Mindfulness fakespot

If you find it helpful and want to know everything about it.

The Mind Illuminated


The Mind Illuminated fakespot

Almost every other resource is incredibly cryptic and unclear from what I found. Really off putting and kept me from pursuing it for a long time.

Let me be clear - this doesn't stop the dissociation. I never found a way to do that. It just changes your perception of it. However, perception is reality and dissociation is no longer a problem for me.

The reality is that you ARE a spectator to your emotions. If you can get that out of your head then thats all well and good and you won't need to pursue mindfulness. My anxiety riddled mind hyperfocuses on anything that bothers me and therefore the only path was through it.

Anxiety medications are effective but the side effects can disturb your quality of life. That doesn't mean I am against them. You can be too distressed to pursue effective solutions to your problems. Popping a pill to fix that so that you can actually do so is wise, as long as you don't view them as a permanent solution if other remedies are possible. Take the medicine, feel better, work on yourself and your problems, handle them, come off the medications.