Best development psychology books according to redditors
We found 124 Reddit comments discussing the best development psychology books. We ranked the 53 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the top 20.
5. Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds, Revised Edition
4 mentions
Nicholas Brealey Publishing
If you're curious to read more on the subject, there's been a lot of work on it since van Gennep's writings (1909). I recommend Louise Carus Mahdi's works Betwixt and Between: Patterns of Masculine and Feminine Initiation as well as Crossroads: The Quest for Contemporary Rites of Passage
I'm 41 and only recently realized I may have it (still undiagnosed, but seeking.) I found The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Attwood very helpful. Also anything by John Elder Robison. Relationship-wise, Journal of Best Practices by David Finch was good.
Relevant book: The Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life.
Get it. Read it. Hand the book to him and see if HE will read it. If he reads it, then you guys would have a good basis for re-assessing this relationship together.
If not, at least you have a good basis for making decisions about your future together because you have the info which explains all this.
I have a weird kind of busy day to navigate through but for now, here are two book recommendations that you might find helpful.
"The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism" by Sean Barron and Temple Grandin.
[The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Attwood.]
(http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0050IY61G/ref=rdr_kindle_ext_tmb)
I know it might seem odd that I recommended Tony Attwood's book to you but there are a few chapters that you might find helpful.
I absolutely understand why you are nervous where all things female are concerned. I hope to spend some time writing up more things that you might find helpful and I'll PM those to you when I finish. I might not get done until Friday, but I will try my best to take the time and get that to you asap. :)
I can relate to a lot of this. The bathing thing... I never realized that wasn't normal, until I started reading about it here. My mom would tell me to take a shower with her to "save time/water".
Both parents were both emotionally/covert-ly incestuous with me in different ways. This book helped a lot: The Emotional Incest Syndrome
Agreed. And with situations in which one parent is abusive, it’s very normal for the other parent to over-bond and “enmesh”. I strongly recommend both group therapy for the three of you and individual therapy.
I also recommend this book. Don’t be put off by the title, there’s a lot of good stuff on enmeshment as a means of over-compensating for abuse.
The Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/055335275X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_h9iZAbH55AYRZ
(In your case, substitute “child” for “parent” but also be aware of how your own baggage may contribute to the situation).
Either way, it sounds like you may need to spend some extra time focusing on your daughter, I’d just be sure that’s not seen as a reward for her bad behavior. She needs to learn that your boundaries, especially bodily boundaries, must be respected.
You are whatever you decide you are. And if that changes from one moment to the next, that's OK.
People have a hard time understanding anything they can't put in their comfortable little baskets and label accordingly. You'll never be 'just' American, but you'll never be 'just' Scottish, or anything else. Nothing wrong with only having one national identity, it's just not you. You're a TCK.
It sounds like you came back to the states recently and are dealing with college age kids primarily? (guessing based off your age) That's going to be part of it... College age kids anywhere are not known for their experience and understanding (I should know I used to be that age-I made some horrible, horrible decisions), and in the US it's even worse.
You have to understand that people often see things as black or white, especially when young. To a lot of people you can only be 'from' one country, and if you have a passport, that's it, that's your country. Is that right? No, but that's how they see things. Their nationality is part of their identity, and you not having that same foundation is frightening to their construct of self.
I'm going to guess you're not in a big city? (New York, LA, etc.) People in more metropolitan areas are less attached to places as an identity and more understanding, as they'll deal with a wide variety of people.
If you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend http://www.amazon.com/Third-Culture-Kids-Growing-Revised/dp/1857885252 . Your library should be able to borrow it for you, if you don't want to buy it (if you're in college, I presume you're mostly broke).
Anyways, you're not alone, and you're not wrong. You can be completely Scot, and completely American, and sometimes either, or neither or both. You're a TCK.
I suggest Kimmel as a starting point. People tend to take him as being unbiased about feminism due to being a man (he even brings that up in one of his sociology texts).
The Gendered Society is pretty good as well. He's got a good talent for explaining why gender issues do not just affect women, and how they affect men as well. The Reader goes into some case studies about Men's Issues (Male Nurses, for example) as well as race and class issues.
Textbooks can be a bit pricey, but those are definitely worth it. If you are buy a University you might be able to pick up a 2000 copy on the cheap as well.
Yes.
The course covers a fairly wide swath of material, blending history, theory (of the critical variety), and empirical case studies. Its primary purpose is to introduce students to an examination of men and men's lives using the tools of sociology, and it does this through a few avenues:
That's enough of a rant from me! I'll link some of the books I will be drawing on in my course below:
If you have any questions, I'd be happy to answer!
Connell: Masculinities
Connell: The Men and the Boys
Kimmel and Messerschmidt: Men's Lives 9th edition - this one showcases dozens of authors, each of whom brings their own deep insights into contemporary masculinities.
Kimmel and Holler: The Gendered Society
Wade and Ferree: Gender: Ideas, Interactions, Institutions
Sounds like to me you are doing things right. One thing to always keep in mind is that you are the expert when it comes to your kid. Only you will know what's best. I know it is a lot at first, but you can definitely do this. Also I know you said you've already taken in a lot of info, but there is a book a highly recommend that I think you should check out. It helped me a lot when understanding everything myself. Here is a link on Amazon if you are interested. https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1476776245/ref=sxts_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1527130503&sr=1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65
Is Occupational Therapy helping with his sensory issues? With my daughter, I had to try several therapists before we found someone who was a good fit and was actually helpful. Are you utilizing a sensory diet at home? (If not, ask your OT to help you with creating a sensory diet at home - super important!) At that age, when I could see my daughter spinning out into bad behavior territory, I'd try to catch it early and redirect her to one of her sensory diet activities instead. Do you have a sensory swing? Those help too.
I think some of this is age, some is sensory issues, some is the autism itself. 2 1/2 was a really, really, really rough age for my autistic daughter. We had many of the same issues you listed. (Don't get me started on tooth brushing!) We have a family therapist who works exclusively with families with autistic children. She told me that the only things that really need to be disciplined are safety issues. (And, by disciplined, I don' ean time outs - discipline means "to teach".) Everything else is negotiable. Things like hitting(me), spitting, etc. I would just ignore and stay calm.
That's not to say I was willing to just let my kid have her way. I did not just give in when she had a tantrum. There were still rules and limits in the house - it was not a free for all. But, instead of disciplining the tantrum with a time out (which always just escalated things into a very bad place) I would ignore any undesirable behavior - letting her vent her frustration without shame or judgment - then when she would start to calm down, I would help her self sooth by either letting her sit on my lap, doing deep breathing with her, redirecting her to one of her "sensory diet" activities that was sure to calm her, etc. And, I always told her what a great job she was doing calming down. That's what I chose to give attention to - the calming down part, not the behavior that preceded it. If that makes sense.
You seem to be aware that kids on the spectrum have more trouble with self regulation than their neurotypical peers. Their reactions are more over the top. But, that doesn't mean there isn't a reason or trigger for their over-the-top reaction in the first place. Your job as a parent to an autistic child is to become a detective. Start taking note of when the behaviors are most likely to occur and the conditions that preceded the behavior. Hopefully, you will begin to notice patterns. Once you can begin to identify the antecedents of his freak outs, start experimenting with altering things to try to trigger less freak outs.
There's a fantastic book that helped me to understand some of the underlying reasons for my daughter's freak outs, recommended to me by our developmental pediatrician: Uniquely Human by Barry Prizant.
https://www.amazon.com/Uniquely-Human-Different-Seeing-Autism-ebook/dp/B00P42X22C
I think every parent should get a copy of this book when their child is diagnosed with autism - it's so incredibly helpful. Once you can begin to understand some of the common reasons underlying common behaviors exhibited by autistic children, you can work toward finding solutions. And, when you find solutions, the behaviors go away. It's not an instant fix, but you're playing the long game here. This approach takes time, but helps immensely.
I also highly recommend you look into the work of Dr Ross Greene, author of The Explosive Child. When I found his approach to working with children with challenging behavior (regardless of diagnosis), it was absolutely paradigm-shifting for me and my parenting. I cannot praise his work highly enough:
https://www.livesinthebalance.org/walking-tour-parents
He also does a podcast, and you can search by topic specifically for episodes dedicated to using his approach with very young children.
Finally, you know that your child is lacking emotional regulation skills. You can't expect him to just "act right" if he does not have the skills to do so (which goes back to Dr Greene's work, referenced above). You're going to have to teach him those skills as he grows. Look into resources for teaching him self regulation, emotional regulation, and emotional resilience.
Some search terms are "emotional regulation skills for kids", "DBT activities for kids", "teaching "mindfulness to kids", and "coping skills for young kids".
The worst time to try and teach emotional regulation skills is in the heat of a meltdown - instead, you have to work on it when he's calm or only a little bit upset. Even something as simple as learning to take deep breaths when upset was a game changer for my kid. She now spontaneously calms herself with deep breathing when she's getting upset or overwhelmed. OK... not every time (she's only 3) but a lot of times.
That's hat worked for us. Hang in there - you're in a really rough patch. But, this is not forever. Hopefully some of those suggestions are helpful.
I highly recommend the book Uniquely Human.
Not an entirely incorrect statement according to this book written over a decade ago. https://www.amazon.ca/Meme-Machine-Susan-Blackmore/dp/019286212X
Ah you're raising Third Culture Kids. As a TCK/CCK myself...I highly encourage you to read the following:
http://www.tckworld.com/useem/art1.html (articles 1 - 5)
and the following book:
http://www.amazon.com/Third-Culture-Kids-Growing-Revised/dp/1857885252/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1292266586&sr=8-1
Trust me on this one.
Reality
Consciousness
There are tonnes of others in the series too.
Herd this was a good read: https://www.amazon.com/Meme-Machine-Popular-Science/dp/019286212X
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Read this book on emotional incest, then run. I dated a man who had the same kind of unnatural obsession with his daughter. It made my skin crawl. A friend gave me this book. That cleared up for me exactly how toxic my BFs relationship was with his daughter. https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Incest-Syndrome-Parents-Rules/dp/055335275X
Uniquely Human by Barry Prizant
Talk on YouTube by Barry Prizant
Ido in Autismland by Ido Kedar
You’re correct not to ‘punish’. Report anything that you think is abuse. It’s really important. That sounds quite disturbing that your professor would suggest that. It’s easy for that to get out of hand. You’re right to want to take a different approach.
"Get over it" doesn't even make sense! How can you get over something that you may not even understand? I don't know how far your research has taken you, but I strongly suggest you read some of Freyd's work. It might help you to understand why you might be confused. Removing any confusion about your situation may be some help to you and aide you in gaining/keeping control of your life. I advise you to learn as much as you can about yourself. Self awareness makes a huge difference in my ability to cope with my issues related to trauma. I know what my triggers are, how to deal with a "bad day" (days when I have had nightmares or had flashbacks or read a particularly disturbing article about CSA), and how to talk to others about how I'm feeling or what I think. Being able to tell when I'm in a bad mood because of PMS or if I simply feel like crap because of remnants from my past really helps me to power through days when I just want to lay in bed and eat chocolate. (If it's PMS, I typically end up laying in bed eating chocolate. haha) Be careful to not let others tell you what to remember. There is a lot of controversy surrounding recalled memories for a reason. I find strength in being able to understand both arguments on the "false memory" debate. If you really have done your research, you know what I'm talking about. If not, I say read this book: http://www.amazon.com/Betrayal-Trauma-Logic-Forgetting-Childhood/dp/0674068068 It should help you understand. It's really a light read if you're into psychological research and has a memoir like feel to it. TL;DR version: I don't believe in "Getting over it." Most people will always be affected by trauma whether they know it or not, so learn to simply be affected by it rather than be controlled by it. So learn what you can and hopefully self awareness will help you like it did me.
It's not about ADHD, but Uniquely Human is fantastic.
edit: clarification
There's "Moral Psychology: A Contemporary Introduction" by Tiberius but it also considers philosophical considerations.
This doesn't have much info, but it mentions the twin studies and also a specific gene that might be linked (which I didn't know about).
This study says that, in their analysis of a twin registry in Sweden (which eliminates any influence of which twins volunteer for a study), same-sex sexual behavior seems to be about 34-39% genetic for men and 18-19% for women.
This one lists the results of several other studies over more than a decade, which found homosexuality to be 1) 37% genetic in boys and 82% in girls, 2) 70% for both, 3) 50% for men and 37% for women, 4) 50-60% for men and 30% for women, and 5) 0% for men and 49% for women. From their own study, they found a stronger link for men, though (at least in the free preview) it doesn't say how strong.
The majority of the research suggests that there is a moderate link, and that it's stronger for men, though obviously there's still some debate.
As for the medication part, I learned it from this book (which I don't have on hand or I'd look up their sources), but here are a couple other sources (the second one is a completely random website, but it's the full text of, coincidentally, the article I initially grabbed). It's a bit hard to search for most of the results are about gay people having higher rates of substance abuse, and the rest is mostly about the impact of pregnant women taking (or having recently taken) hormones (like the first link), which says more about the idea of it being influenced by hormonal conditions in utero than anything else. That 2nd link indicates a potential link to thyroid medication (which is also a hormone, but probably not one you'd think to associate with sexuality), antiemetics, and gamma globulin.
The prevalence of sociopathy in the population may range from 1 - 4%. This is likely a congenital defect, and seems to ablate the capacity to have love or empathy for others, leading to a lack of conscience. For more information, I recommend The Sociopath Next Door.
Not all people are born as blank slates. Cognitive function is regulated by organic factors as well as environmental factors, and we cannot neglect the influence of organic factors.
Though, to be clear, it is possible for otherwise normal people to be made violent - this process was detailed fairly well in the book Why They Kill, which I also recommend.
For more reading, try Karl Popper's Open Society and Its Enemies, vol. 1, and vol. 2.
Try Jacob Bronowski's Science and Human Values.
Also, try Susan Blackmore's The Meme Machine. While this isn't strictly about fallibilism, it describes how memes are an example of the problem-solving method.
Sort of unrelated, but if it turns out that your SS is on the autism spectrum, I highly recommend this book. I think it explains autism in a way that helps people understand it a lot better and offers some advice.
*Note: I'm not the parent of a child with autism. I'm in graduate school for speech-language pathology.
"The Meme Machine" - Susan Blackmore. Nonfiction.
https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Guide-Aspergers-Syndrome-ebook/dp/B0050IY61G/ref=pd_sim_351_2/135-5364280-4375439?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B0050IY61G&pd_rd_r=642e3d4f-77f7-11e9-b98b-a55320510026&pd_rd_w=yuYkL&pd_rd_wg=ASG01&pf_rd_p=90485860-83e9-4fd9-b838-b28a9b7fda30&pf_rd_r=DB05PAX76XCYWTFE4RJJ&psc=1&refRID=DB05PAX76XCYWTFE4RJJ
http://www.amazon.com/The-Meme-Machine-Popular-Science/dp/019286212X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1341405027&sr=1-1&keywords=memes
So happy to hear it was helpful. Navigating this phase of a faith crisis can be really difficult and lonely. This book is one of many I would recommend reading if you want a really great breakdown of how doubt fits into your spiritual journey in the context of Mormonism.
There is a word for that: “memes”.
Humans evolved to imitate the behavior of others, and to pass along useful information, which is how we build social units and communal behaviors. These word fads are probably part of that socialization impulse, usually harmless. The identification and study of memes is an area that some have explored. Here is a book that might be interesting., https://www.amazon.com/Meme-Machine-Popular-Science/dp/019286212X
I was just diagnosed at 36. It has thrown me for a loop, but I have been doing a lot of (obsessive) research on Autism, including reading a good book called
The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome
https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Guide-Aspergers-Syndrome-ebook/dp/B0050IY61G/ref=mt_kindle?_encoding=UTF8&me=
Knowing that I have it now has actually helped explain why I act the way I do to my partner (and my family and myself) so all in all it has been a good thing.
I think because it was thrown at me with no real preparation, the change in how I view myself/my identity, has been the hardest part about the diagnoses. I think as time goes on, I will get used to it, and move on...
Haaa ha sen dalga geç anca...
Bunları okuyup gelde, bi boyunun ölçüsünü alıyım meme lordu seni
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memetic_engineering
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memetics
Instead of commenting on my own experience, I just want to add a factoid I picked up recently. From the book "Triumphs of Experience", which is about a long-term longitudinal study of around 300 males from age 18 through death, it was found that there is a powerful correlation between "coping style" at age 30, and overall health and happiness at age 70.
Basically, if at age 30 you have a "coping style" where you retreat from the world and cut yourself off from people, this is correlated with being very unhappy at age 70. But if you have a coping style whereby you seek out connection in order to work through your problems, this is correlated with being quite happy and surrounded by friends and family at age 70.
The book is packed full of scientifically-validated facts like this about long-term happiness. Definitely recommended for other men; there are other studies like it about women.
http://www.amazon.com/Triumphs-Experience-Harvard-Grant-Study/dp/0674059824/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1409675030&sr=8-1&keywords=triumphs+of+experience
It always sort of baffled me too. Myself, I'd think that injuring my murderer, even if only in a trivial way, would be the way to go.
The best answer I ever found to that question was in Why They Kill. Most people are so deeply conditioned to avoid conflict, particularly violent conflict, that they'll cooperate just to get a few extra minutes of life, even after they realize that death is inevitable.
I avoid Robert Bly for the most part. Him and James Hillman. Not my cup of tea. I go to Von Franz for my fairy tale interpretations. That being said - I got a recommendation for you Betwixt and Between is one of the best resources on rites of passages - it's an anthology with a shit ton of essays/articles about the matter. It's broken into each life stage - as well as male and female rites.
I'd recommend Robert C. Roberts work on this. He's a world class scholar in this area. Here's the first in his trilogy that lays out his theory of emotion: https://www.amazon.com/Emotions-Essay-Aid-Moral-Psychology/dp/0521525845/ref=pd_rhf_ee_s_pd_session_scf_1_5?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0521525845&pd_rd_r=HJHTF314S1M3CA84YQCT&pd_rd_w=jUkky&pd_rd_wg=np4ik&pf_rd_i=desktop-rhf&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=3505674102&pf_rd_r=HJHTF314S1M3CA84YQCT&pf_rd_s=desktop-rhf&pf_rd_t=40701&psc=1&refRID=HJHTF314S1M3CA84YQCT
Here's his second book: https://www.amazon.com/Emotions-Moral-Life-Robert-Roberts/dp/1107576377/ref=pd_bxgy_14_2?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1107576377&pd_rd_r=9ANGX14W48SAVDV494B6&pd_rd_w=eQyZr&pd_rd_wg=D2dIc&psc=1&refRID=9ANGX14W48SAVDV494B6
And here's the Oxford Handbook. I'm currently reading through it: https://www.amazon.com/Oxford-Handbook-Philosophy-Emotion-Handbooks/dp/0199654379/ref=pd_sim_14_4?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0199654379&pd_rd_r=9ANGX14W48SAVDV494B6&pd_rd_w=GPled&pd_rd_wg=D2dIc&psc=1&refRID=9ANGX14W48SAVDV494B6
Also, the area of philosophy that deals with this topic is moral psychology. I'd definitely check out this intro: https://www.amazon.com/Moral-Psychology-Contemporary-Introduction-Introductions/dp/0415529697/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1518110231&sr=1-2&keywords=moral+psychology
Hope this helps!
This book may be worth your time. While I haven't read this particular one, I've enjoyed other books in the series. They can serve as a great starting point before going on to other, more complex works. They're short and so easy to quickly consume.
Consciousness: A Very Short Introduction (Very Short Introductions)
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0198794738/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_u8.KBbSX5JRXA
You're probably even more correct than you think you are.
Originally, the term meme was for concept of an idea being its own entity. For example "fire hurts" is probably one of the earliest viral ideas, or meme, in human history.
This book is quite an interesting read, also look for a book called The Selfish Gene.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/019286212X/
Edit: link to book added.
To me religions are an idea that has helped civilizations thrive through protection in numbers under the banner of that common idea(meme).
I cannot think of one society today that is not based on some sort of religious ethos and that has a remarkably strong way of banding people together and of even greater importance, the need to document ones idea.
Religion is one of the main influences and causes for art, music and language throughout our history and there is no denying its influence on us today no matter who you are.
I think there is a basic need for us to feel that there is a reason for us to belong to this super-organism that is the human race and religion is a very appealing idea to get behind, especially given the fact that they almost all offer passage to some sort of everlasting bliss and in most cases suffering or damnation to all non-believers. They also offer a social group that supports one another within the religious group that aids in their survival.
We have evolved enough now to develop these ideas into more complex ideals which has allowed the ideas or lack thereof behind atheism and other non-religions to flourish and to be documented for others to reference without fear of conviction for heresy. We now can oppose, study and/or question religious views without fear of persecution (although still not openly in some parts of the world). On the flip side this has also allowed mainstream religions to split into many variations of the same belief system some of them to the extreme.
I urge you to read The Meme Machine by Susan Blackmore
http://www.amazon.com/The-Meme-Machine-Popular-Science/dp/019286212X/ref=pd_sim_b_1
or even the Lucifer Principle or The Global Brain by Howard Bloom are books that offer insights into this evolution of ideas.
It's funny, Susan Blackmore's Meme Machine is among my favorite books. I think this view of Life is entirely consistent with the Objectivist perspective.
Rand defined Good and Bad in terms of what that means for individual life forms, not "life itself"-whatever that means. What that life form is is irrelevant. What is good for memes is often also good for humans, sometimes it is not. We are two separate life forms competing for/sharing the same resources. Just like what is good for you is sometimes good for me, and sometimes not. What is good for a virus might be good for me, but probably not.
The interests of competing organisms are often at odds, this does not disprove the objective nature of values, it only supports the claim.
Rand is saying that the nature of an organism determines it's values. What it is determines what it ought to do. To me this is a tautology. It seems ridiculous to even need to point that out. Apparently some philosophers think otherwise. Btw, I'll read your article after I cook dinner.
>To make this point fully clear, try to imagine an immortal, indestructible robot, an entity which moves and acts, but which cannot be affected by anything, which cannot be changed in any respect, which cannot be damaged, injured or destroyed. Such an entity would not be able to have any values; it would have nothing to gain or to lose; it could not regard anything as for or against it, as serving or threatening its welfare, as fulfilling or frustrating its interests. It could have no interests and no goals.
Ayn Rand
"Advocating" for is very different to "proof". We agree that science (or anything) cannot prove God. Hence why my argument is made on moral grounds as opposed to logical grounds.
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I oppose your conception of "the dogma of religion" .
I don't think you have to blindly accept beliefs in order to be religious. I think one ought to consider the various claims made by various religions, evaluate them within their personal framework of understanding and then include these claims as part of that framework should they deem them coherent.
I have seen some examples of dogmatic religion, but mostly through the media. My actual experiences of faith are that individuals' beliefs are patchwork, varied and yet accepted. People in my church/other churches I have visited do not test each other with "don't you believe X?". An individual is responsible for professing their own faith, one cannot judge the faith of another (so the Bible tells us). Maybe I have a very luck suite of churches in my city, but I don't know a Christian that would stay at a church where the pastor said "believe X no matter what, even if there is no evidence for X and even if other evidence contradicts X".
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Obviously I agree with your point about Buddhism. Fab religion with some strange bits (like many others) . For me, the character of Jesus is very important, I find him more relatable than Buddha (but I think that's personal). Buddhism is more individually oriented than Christianity, in that enlightenment can be achieved with isolation, meditation and removal of oneself from the world (as I understand it). Christianity is different in that it basically commands community living. We must act together for any good to come of our actions.
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Finally, regarding supernatural thinking. I am fond of the theory that we are spiritually inclined by nature. Name a society in history that developed to be atheist? Better yet, name a cohesive and progressive society in history that was atheist?
We are evolutionarily adapted to perceive patterns everywhere (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apophenia), and this naturally lead to us forming complex beliefs around these patterns in order to place the chaos around us within some sort of interpretable frame.
Here's a good book on the topic by a lecturer in my department: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Science-Superstition-Developing-Creates-Supernatural/dp/0061452653/ref=sr_1_1_twi_kin_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1449500099&sr=1-1
Spiritual thinking gives us a great many advantages as a species, and it has given rise to basically all modern science, philosophy and art. We apply "supernatural thinking" all the time in almost every aspect of our lives. Things like belief in the greater good, a coherent sense of self, the idea of good and evil, patriotism, luck, superstition, optimism, trust in induction (future events turning out like past events) all result from irrational and "supernatural" thinking which helps frame/control the UTTER FREAKING CHAOS that is reality. Sorry, that's a rubbish list, it's the end of the day and my brain is out of ideas. Do you see my point however?
Thanks for the contest.
The item from my wish list that would change my life the most if I received it would be this book, the reason is because I am planning on going back to school after 7+ years. I am finally able to do this, I am going back for my RN. Because I haven't attended college for so long I was told I have to start back over. I was able to pick up this class (YAY will be knocking out 3 pre-reqs!) on Monday. So this book would be one of the helpful in changing my life around for the better.
It's a late response, so I'm not going to include my story, but I'm in pretty much the same boat.
I'm reading 'The Emotional Incest Syndrome: When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life' very slowly because it hits pretty close to home and I end up ruminating if I read too much at one time.
I also have this one on my bookshelf (well, under the mattress) that I haven't started yet, 'Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners' so I can't vouch for it yet.
Hopefully, one, or both, of these might help you out.
Do Not Listen to This; You Will Sound Ridiculous
The proper pronunciation is: "May-May"
I really liked The Everything Guide to NPD just to give me an idea of what the whole thing was, plus books about emotional incest. That topic focuses a lot on boundary issues, which was a big problem in my family. The ones I've found useful are The Emotional Incest Syndrome and Silently Seduced. These three books were all recommended by my therapist, but if you have one, he or she could probably recommend others!
Triumphs of Experience: The Men of the Harvard Grant Study by George E. Vaillant
https://www.amazon.com/Meme-Machine-Popular-Science/dp/019286212X
Wow, lots of similarities!! As far as getting an "official" diagnosis, that's sort of the point we were at...it would've been a lot of money for not a lot of benefit. Honestly, it's been a while since I've looked at the books we have so, I can't remember which were most helpful (sorry) but, here's the ones that we do have:
book #1
book #2
book #3
book #4
If I do recall correctly I believe Book #3 Aspergers In Love by Maxine Aston was most helpful...but, I can't promise.
Also, if you didn't see it already, check out the link for the 5 Love Languages, we found that to be really helpful.
Edit...did the link formatting wrong!
If I remember correctly those things come under Theory of Mind, right, specifically mind-blindness? Simon Baron-Cohen (researcher on ASD) has published quite a few papers and books discussing ToM and how it affects autistic people, so that might be a useful read. Also, a really great book (if a little laborious and overkill for an everyday person who just knows someone autistic) that I definitely recommend is The Complete Guid to Asperger's Syndrome, which explains a great deal of things about the autism spectrum and how autistic people work. It's a bit much though, unless OP is really dead-set on knowing as much as possible.
> Luke feels that Old Ben lied to him, Old Ben admits to lying but also admits to doing it for the right reasons
This brings up something I forgot to mention too - many autistic people tend to think "in black and white" (and while it's on my mind, can be very literal (which links in to sarcasm of course), so metaphors like "in black and white" may result in a puzzled look from him). Remember when you were little and your parents told you lying is bad, you should always be honest and never tell lies to people? And then a few months down the line your mum asks your dad "does this dress make me look fat? Be honest" and he says "no, it looks great" even when it doesn't? This can result in a confusing situation (for most people, but more so for autistic folk), since apparently you're not allowed to tell lies, but he just lied to her. It can be difficult to get that, yes, lying IS bad, but sometimes we tell small lies to people to make them feel better, or to comfort them - we lie for the right reasons. Autistic people often have a very strict sense of justice too, which kinda links into that.
The Emotional Incest book
Adult Children of Alcoholics (surprisingly relevant regardless of alcoholism)
'Why They Kill' by Richard Rhodes is great
lol Yeah that is what memes seem to be labeled as. I, again not trying to be a dick, read Meme Machine By Susan Blackmore before memes were a hit on the internet. So I think of a meme as a cultural "gene" that is spread through a given population. It could ber verbal or visual. There are so many memes!! It has been very interesting to see the use of the word over time!
As someone who was homeschooled, I know a few slightly awkward people. ;) It happens. But then, there are plenty of awkward publicly schooled kids too, so there's that.
As far as having enough time, I can't really speak to that, as I don't know what they'll be doing. Though if it's anything like we were schooled, at some point Mom would just give us a weekly plan, reading materials, and exercise problems, and we generally managed our own time (with consequences if we didn't). We just did it on our own. It taught me time management and study habits.
It's not a sure thing, but I wouldn't be worried about it. If you're close with the parents, a conversation might help.
I spent some time looking for a book my mom read for third-culture kid stuff (she was a youth leader for the MKs here for a while), and I think this might be it. In case you're looking for a non-novel format.
https://www.amazon.com/Experience-Human-Development-Diane-Papalia-ebook/dp/B00VF629V6/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Experience+Human+Development+13th+edition&qid=1559188636&s=digital-text&sr=1-1
Do Fathers Matter?: What Science Is Telling Us About the Parent We've Overlooked https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01L9DXHTW/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_dsWYCb3KAEKVT
No, I have only watched the TED talk. I have read Leonard Beeghley's Homicide:A Sociological Explanation, Richard Rhodes' Why They Kill, and Konrad Lorenz's On Aggression. All, books worth picking up if you are interested in this subject, which you obviously are.
http://www.amazon.com/The-Science-Superstition-Developing-Supernatural/dp/0061452653
I worked in a trauma research lab for three years so I've read quite a bit on the subject. Dissociation is a really interesting topic on its own. We've done a couple studies about it.
You should read Creating Hysteria to get the other side of things. To hear about the stories where people are "tricked" into psychological disorders they don't have.
If you find DID interesting, you may also find Betrayal Trauma Theory interesting. Jennifer Freyd wrote a really cool book about it, as she is the one who coined the term.
This book may be of great assistance to your husband... The Emotional Incest Syndrome
This book pretty much described how I felt growing up and how that shaped me as a person. Therefore 3rdCultureKid, even though technically I'm an Adult TCK.
The User Illusion, or
The first idea would be good places to start.
I just got a book about this, but I haven't started reading it yet so I honestly have no idea about its validity or if it even gives me an answer.
Here is a link to the book. From the brief description it doesn't make it seem like the question is answered. It's a big book so it will likely be some time before I even get to it.