Reddit reviews A Billion Wicked Thoughts: What the Internet Tells Us About Sexual Relationships
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Plume Books
Some thoughts
One thing that got me thinking was his slide on the how and the why. Basically the chart looks like this:
Advice | Reason |
--------|-----------|
confidence | risk taking |
charisma | social hierarchy |
competence | provisions |
leadership | overall survival |
Talking to a stranger is risk taking. Having good charisma makes you seem higher up on the totem pole. Who gathered the most animals? A big question in women's hypergamous brain is who have the most provisions.
This got me to thinking about how I would develop social confidence? "The most important mark of confidence a man can do is to start a conversation with somebody... approach, approach, approach." (@~34:00)
So I brainstormed:
Advice | Reason | Action|
--------|------|--------|
confidence | risk taking | Approach
charisma | social hierarchy | Work in Bar/Meet Ups/ ...
competence | provisions | Job/Budgeting/Investing/show dangerous side...
leadership | overall survival | Get in Leadership Positions/Volunteer...
How feasible are the actions? Approaching can be done today by going outside, but I am [insert hamstering] and she is [hamstering]....
Here are the books he recommended @~40:18
Shows what men and women want.
Advice:
Become keen observers of human nature and behavior based on reality. One way is to take walks with your dog, sit at a cafe and eavesdrop on people on dates.
He also recommended getting social history books and getting a book list together. Not sure if the list above is the list or a quick glimpse.
Background:
Man is dying. I saw him on reddit offering free advice and skype sessions before. I thought there may be a catch and I was insecure. Fast forward today I see him on the stage, I wish I have taken up the offer
and am thinking about spending a day with him. Usually never have someone like that in my life, wonder about how a day with him would be like. Crowd in the room are tired and silencing his side jokes, but sometimes the
crowd (or one person) comes alive and responds. I would of been stoic/quiet/beta (on and on) in the audience, but would fantasize about his points. At end no one seem to have questions so he have to probe the audience "anyone want to know about my eye patch?"
questions around @48:00
etc.
Traps aren't gay
In the book A Billion Wicked Thoughts, the authors theorise straight guys that like feet are into into small feet because it signifies fertility - pregnant women have swollen feet.
Also, guys who do internet searches for straight foot fetish porn are also into dominatrix porn. Marketers in this industry know this and promote this sort of porn on the other's site. So yeah, feet and humiliation are linked.
Sure, buy, borrow or steal http://www.amazon.com/Billion-Wicked-Thoughts-Internet-Relationships/dp/0452297877/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1425514875&sr=8-1&keywords=A+Billion+Wicked+Thoughts for more.
No, no, it's not the only thing we have! We have a comprehensive survey of porn and dating profile usage by women and men. It's called A Billion Wicked Thoughts.
https://www.amazon.com/Billion-Wicked-Thoughts-Internet-Relationships/dp/0452297877
Sexuality is actually pretty complex and the idea that people neatly fit into social categories like "heterosexual" and "homosexual" is quite strange if you think about and research the matter. I think you are making a lot of assumptions about what it feels or looks like to be bisexual (or have dual sexual attraction) and this is causing you a lot of confusion and obsession. The obsessive doubt and fear absolutely plays a major role in the gay or bisexual experience of being in the closet or not having fully come to terms with your self and desires.
I think what you should do is see a therapist or psychologist with a sex background. They will be able to provide you with information and evidence that will allow you to contextualize your thoughts and feelings. Part of it is probably related to the porn but part of it is likely not, and you will probably benefit from having things disentangled and laid out for you. I think what you're mainly suffering from right now is confusion due to lack of knowledge. I suggest you spend some time researching the biology and psychology of sexual attraction.
Here is a site I've found helpful:
An article you might find interesting or relatable: https://www.thecut.com/2017/02/how-straight-men-explain-their-same-sex-encounters.html
A really interesting book about internet porn and sexual desire: https://www.amazon.com/Billion-Wicked-Thoughts-Internet-Relationships/dp/0452297877
Google talk of aforementioned book: https://youtu.be/p-A8GvUehq4
Am ajuns cam târziu, dar vreau să vă recomand o carte despre sexualitate, internet, diferența dintre lume (bărbați, femei, homosexuali, transgender, etc.) și o groază de data analizate statistic. Am învățat o groază din ea, mai ales la diferențele de la bărbați la femei, ce ăsteptări au și cât de ușor pot fi dezamăgite aceste ăsteptări. În mare aș putea zice că bărbații sunt mult mai rapizi la a face actule sexual, iar femeiile își doresc mai mult ceva stabil cu multe sentimente. Evidenti există și excepții, dar în medie cam așa e.
A billion wicked thoughts
I'm not confident I can answer this with much accuracy, but I'll try. I recall an experiment in rats that generated female sexual behavior in male rats by implanting electrodes at certain sites in the brain. This result suggests that some female brain structures exist in the male brain, and it's possible that these are being accessed by sissies. You can read about it in A Billion Wicked Thoughts by Ogi Ogas. Here is a speech by him - it's some really fascinating stuff.
Genies do weird things when you use wishes. You never know what the mail lady actually wished for in her most secret and private moments.
https://www.amazon.com/Billion-Wicked-Thoughts-Internet-Relationships/dp/0452297877/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1484359923&sr=8-1&keywords=a+billion+wicked+thoughts
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0452297877?pc_redir=1405351182&robot_redir=1
>How is the school system failing because of equality.
By putting children of lesser abilities in with children of higher abilities and thereby dragging them down to the lowest common denominator.
>Physically they are but can you tell me what psychological differences there are.
Yes. Men and women are wired completely differently. Broadly men focus on objects and systems, women are focused on the social sphere. Women are more neurotic and more agreeable, men are more conscientious. The male sexual system is more visually based and wired for polygamy, the female sexual system is heavily based on hypergamy. Here's a whole lecture series that talks about personality differences particularly 16-19 and here's a book specifically talking about sexual differences
>You also don't seem to understand that the people leading the protests for women's right to vote were women...It sounds like you are also In favour of women not having the vote and think that it is destructive.
A minority of women who were often also terrorists. I use it as an example of when postmodernism tore down a structure and called it liberation. A majority of women had their lives negatively impacted by changing the voting model and postmodernists ignored their free choice in order to spout their ideology.
>Syria, Iraq and Iran aren't 3rd world countries.
Yes they are. Syria and Iraq are heavily war torn and Iran is a theocratic prison state. Those countries aren't where most of the mass illegal immigration into Europe I'm talking about is coming from though, which is from sub-saharan Africa.
>You still can't tell me how postmodernism is destructive.
Because it fundamentally values nothing. It tears down everything it can because it sees all hierarchies as abuse and all truth as relative.
A Billion Wicked Thoughts
> It's that I was sooo ashamed for fucking half the college frat and enjoying it,
Actually, it's men who fantasize about women fucking half the college, not women. Here's some neuroscientists who studied internet porn searches & studied female fantasies. https://www.amazon.com/Billion-Wicked-Thoughts-Internet-Relationships/dp/0452297877
The researchers noted male erotic fantasies of becoming a woman, and fucking lots of men. Men pay to watch huge gang bangs. Women write erotic fantasies of having sex after proving "it's not just sex" to him.
>Wife: "Thank you for understanding my plight. It's not that I thought my husband was an unattractive beta who I married primarily for resources,
Of course the man should be ANGRY as hell if he is betrayed like that. However, day-in and day-out, what is the evidence she never desired him & was just "using him". Only a fool would throw out 7 years worth of data because of one thing that happened during school years. Any rational investigator would realize need for more proof. Something is wrong if you leap to the most horrifying conclusion, and stick to it regardless of other evidence.
I wish that I was enough of an expert to accurately analyze this. However, the book A billion wicked thoughts and this link both present the research. (with different opinions than me) Perhaps you look at the data and come to a different conclusion than we did.
Why do women want those 5 types of men for their fantasies, what do they have in common?
I saw this data and abstracted competent, dangerous, and powerful. Perhaps you see different traits.
A Billion Wicked Thoughts: What the Internet Tells Us about Sexual Relationships https://www.amazon.com.br/dp/0452297877/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_-jMMDbW7CH9D4
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I think the researchers who did the a billion wicked thoughts say that gay males are born gay. But female lesbians are largely influenced by environment more than biological hard wiring.
G,G&S is probably the most influential book I've ever read. I only wish I read it sooner.
As far as sexual strategy literature; as someone else mentioned, The Red Queen is a great read. I would also recommend The Evolution of Desire (or anything by David Buss) & A Billion Wicked Thoughts.
The good sex literature is difficult to come across because so many people pull from the same studies then write a book about what it means to them. However, some do it better than most. Get to know the authors who KNOW what they are writing. Instead of those looking to make a quick buck off an interpretation of someone else's research.
Hope this helps.
Get the lowdown: A Billion Wicked Thoughts
Amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/Billion-Wicked-Thoughts-Internet-Relationships/dp/0452297877/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1406381252&sr=8-1&keywords=a+billions+wicked+thoughts
>So when I looked at possible reasons for why more porn is directed at men than women, I wasn't addressing a point you had made?
This...
> Women can be aroused by visuals just as much as men are - even if the visuals are slightly different.
...is a strawman. I did not say that women could not be aroused by visuals as much as men are. You were addressing a point I did not make.
How do you know there's so few women looking at porn? Or that women don't pay for porn?
>According to the neuroscientists who wrote A Billion Wicked Thoughts,women do not often pay for porn. Authors Ogas and Gaddam write: “According to CCBill, the billing service most commonly used by the online adult industry, only 2 percent of all subscriptions to pornography sites are made on credit cards with women's names. In fact, CCBill even flags female names as potential fraud, since so many of these charges result in an angry wife or mother demanding a refund for the misuse of her card.”
http://www.amazon.com/Billion-Wicked-Thoughts-Internet-Relationships/dp/0452297877
>How do you know that the accounts men have on porn sites are shared by their wives? You're making a lot of speculation and generalizing a whole lot based on that study.
If you're going to make that argument than you support it. I find it highly unlikely that the other 98% of CCBill subscribers consist of men buying porn for their wives.
>Regardless of how much women are aroused visually or how aroused men are visually, the point remains, arousal happens, it's not an irresistible force
Another strawman.
,>and using gender and words like "uncontrollable" to excuse wanting to commit adultery is just wrong. Either you chose to sleep with someone or you chose not to. Period.
And another one. You get one more chance and then I start ignoring you.
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I've read them all; they've helped a ton^1000
As a guy, here is what I actually think, judging from a psychological understanding of myself (a guy) as well as what I believe is the most comprehensive and realistic study of human sexuality in the world. Here is the study summary in the form of a lecture at Google.
Given the following factors, I think that there is a very strong cultural, as well as biological basis for the infidelity of men in general, especially in a country with a strong mistress culture like China. Assume the worst and you will never be disappointed in your life.
>weirdly obsesses
Why do you think that it's "weird" to be interested in breasts?
In fact, I recall that one study found that "busty" was the #1 most searched-for term by males on Google when it came to pornography. (From this book.)